Don't get it...

Graydaze October 24, 2019 5:25 am

I guess I just don't get masochism, I mean I get the subservient part, I think the "tell me what to do" aspect could be really sexy. But this, the acceptance of that level of degradation, to actually throw away your own self worth or esteem for sex with another person, I just can't go there. The way he treated him with the dog role play, I just don't see the appeal of someone actually feeling that level of contempt for you, turning you on.

Responses
    hahaoof October 24, 2019 5:41 am

    it's a play that shouldn't be taken to heart. pet play etc is an actual kinky thing but aftercare follows after sex. if things get rough, there are safe words that informs your partner when it gets too much. it's just a step up from dirty talk but what happens in bed doesn't equate to your partner thinking actually thinking the same way irl.

    it's clearly not your thing but people do like those things. no need to kinkshame them. but there are people out there who've had a rough time in the past that shaped them to toxic masochism/sadism.

    hahaoof October 24, 2019 5:42 am

    *what happens in bed doesn't equate to your partner thinking the same way irl.

    Graydaze October 24, 2019 6:11 am
    it's a play that shouldn't be taken to heart. pet play etc is an actual kinky thing but aftercare follows after sex. if things get rough, there are safe words that informs your partner when it gets too much. it... hahaoof

    No "kinkshaming" here at all. If you've been reading the same manga I have then you know we're not dealing with a couple who are any where close to having a safe word or even sex. The seme here is treating this guy like something he'd scrape off his shoe and it's confusing to me how this can turn the uke on so much. This isn't an established couple so I'm pretty sure that what he says about him, or writes on him, he feels irl. Please don't take the fact that this extreme level of masochism isn't for me, and turn it into me bashing it, like I said...I just don't get it, I never said it was wrong etc..

    Mikan-San October 24, 2019 6:18 am

    I was just utterly speechless, he’s degrading himself soo bad that I just ended up laughing lol

    hahaoof October 24, 2019 6:34 am
    No "kinkshaming" here at all. If you've been reading the same manga I have then you know we're not dealing with a couple who are any where close to having a safe word or even sex. The seme here is treating this... Graydaze

    it was explained in the beginning why he likes this treatment. and like I said in my first reply, some people’s toxic masochism/sadism are shaped from past experiences.

    shennaine October 24, 2019 12:52 pm
    it's a play that shouldn't be taken to heart. pet play etc is an actual kinky thing but aftercare follows after sex. if things get rough, there are safe words that informs your partner when it gets too much. it... hahaoof

    I disagree, many times I see everyone on here with the same argument, "don't take it seriously, it's just a book". That to me is one the most frustrating ways idiots with no type of brain can try to argue. humans are humans, no matter how kinky they are, we all have a LIMIT, a pain tolerance limit! and authors seem to forget that aspect when they write. humans DON'T have sex 5 times in a row, and they DON'T do kink play so rough that it's hard to even recognize the situation as realistic anymore. As an author, if you are basing your characters on human behavior, to essentially act in a way that is predominantly human-like, it is good to represent the characters and their response to the situation realistically, to the extent of the plot. EXAMPLE: the most common trope I see, is the main character being raped by the person they do not like, and then afterward they suddenly like each other after a flimsy apology or no apology at all. THAT'S NOT OK!!! the characters are supposed to be HUMAN LIKE!!! no normal person WOULD EVER! respond like that to that situation!! where's is emotions??? the psychological distraught?? the build-up of the characters's morals and empathy??? UGH! it's so disgusting and inhumane, I can't even see those characters are humans at all!

    shennaine October 24, 2019 12:56 pm
    I disagree, many times I see everyone on here with the same argument, "don't take it seriously, it's just a book". That to me is one the most frustrating ways idiots with no type of brain can try to argue. huma... shennaine

    To clarify, Im not saying that topics/situations such as the example given are a bad thing to write about, I'm just saying that the response the characters give to the situation is what's bad because they feel like they are lacking certain emotions and self-awareness. They don't seem human, and it's hard for me to connect with them emotionally and socially.

    Ice31 October 24, 2019 2:57 pm
    I disagree, many times I see everyone on here with the same argument, "don't take it seriously, it's just a book". That to me is one the most frustrating ways idiots with no type of brain can try to argue. huma... shennaine

    Idk about your experiences but personally I try not to personalize a story I’m reading. As far as sex is concerned 5 times back to back is definitely possible and even more than that since Sex addicts exist, so sex multiple times shouldn’t be so unbelievable. I know I have quite a few 5 or more back to back experiences and I’m not a addict or super human.

    It all depends on both of your passion, compatibility, stamina and recovery time. Some people like rough play, they shouldn’t be condemned for their preference.


    Now rape is another story entirely, it’s not okay at all and even more so especially in real life. Shockholm syndrome is what we call a victim who becomes attracted to their attacker, it has occurred in real life on multiple occasions. It’s sad when it occurs since the acts of violence isn’t taken as seriously. I have empathy and sympathy for confused victims.

    The world is complicated and I accept that reality, I understand how that can be frustrating and annoying. Just because we can’t relate or understand something doesn’t mean we shouldn’t just write it off as BS. If the topic is so bothersome maybe doing research would help relieve some of that confusion.

    hahaoof October 24, 2019 4:16 pm
    Idk about your experiences but personally I try not to personalize a story I’m reading. As far as sex is concerned 5 times back to back is definitely possible and even more than that since Sex addicts exist, ... Ice31

    you're a god for writing this. couldn't have said it better myself.

    Mikan-San October 24, 2019 9:28 pm
    you're a god for writing this. couldn't have said it better myself. hahaoof

    I was gon said the same thing lol

    Ice31 October 25, 2019 12:48 am

    Idk it just really irked me reading that comment, I know and met a variety of people. Some into or working in S&M, some just promiscuous, some with some pretty traumatic experiences and how that led them to unhealthy habits, I’ve also watched and learned a bit about different disorders and human behavior so felt I had to say something. Humans aren’t simple creatures, we can’t fit in just one category, some of us feel a magnitude of different emotions at once. We all handle stress and hardships differently, sometimes we make poor decisions because overwhelmed or even have delayed reactions to a situation.

    I believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion, feelings and beliefs but to state those opinions, feelings or beliefs as fact or guidelines for others to obey/live by is another story.

    Mikan-San October 25, 2019 1:27 am
    Idk it just really irked me reading that comment, I know and met a variety of people. Some into or working in S&M, some just promiscuous, some with some pretty traumatic experiences and how that led them to... Ice31

    Yeah, but I just stop saying too much because (not this person but) I’ve got into arguments with people before, people that thinks the world’s consist of only good things. ~..~

    Ice31 October 25, 2019 1:45 am
    Yeah, but I just stop saying too much because (not this person but) I’ve got into arguments with people before, people that thinks the world’s consist of only good things. ~..~ Mikan-San

    Yeah I normally don’t say anything since it take too much energy to argue or debate. Yes some people where lucky to live sheltered lives where everything and one is safe, good guys always win and everyone friendly like a fairytale. (also not referring to this person)

    Graydaze October 25, 2019 2:28 am
    Idk it just really irked me reading that comment, I know and met a variety of people. Some into or working in S&M, some just promiscuous, some with some pretty traumatic experiences and how that led them to... Ice31

    So saying that I don't understand the appeal of a sexual activity, for myself, personally, has now turned into me trying to establish guidelines for other peoples sex lives. Educating myself about S&M will definitely help me understand why others might like it, or need it, but it will not change the fact that it's just not for me. While I definitely appreciate all the feedback from my statement, a lot of it very informative and helpful, I'm not crazy about having words put in my mouth that I definitely did not say.

    Mikan-San October 25, 2019 2:29 am
    Yeah I normally don’t say anything since it take too much energy to argue or debate. Yes some people where lucky to live sheltered lives where everything and one is safe, good guys always win and everyone fri... Ice31

    Duuuude for real!! I was gonna talk about their fantasy world but stop cause I don’t want to offend ppl but hey you said it!! Well said!!

    Ice31 October 25, 2019 2:39 am
    To clarify, Im not saying that topics/situations such as the example given are a bad thing to write about, I'm just saying that the response the characters give to the situation is what's bad because they feel ... shennaine

    Ok I completely understand where you’re coming from. I agree sometimes character’s don’t have self awareness and that can be frustrating and make it hard to follow the actions of a character or even enjoy a story.

    Ice31 October 25, 2019 2:51 am
    So saying that I don't understand the appeal of a sexual activity, for myself, personally, has now turned into me trying to establish guidelines for other peoples sex lives. Educating myself about S&M will ... Graydaze

    There’s absolutely nothing wrong with not understanding the appeal of a sexual activity, if it’s not your preference then it just isn’t and that’s ok. Sorry actually I wasn’t referring to your initial comment at all but a response you received earlier.

    So no one was trying to put any words in your mouth or accuse you of anything. I hope that clears up any mix up. Your comment open the door to a discussion that kind of went somewhere else.

    Ice31 October 25, 2019 2:57 am
    Duuuude for real!! I was gonna talk about their fantasy world but stop cause I don’t want to offend ppl but hey you said it!! Well said!! Mikan-San

    My bad I had a long day so my don’t offend others filtering is not Effective , I’m only blunt at the moment

    Graydaze October 25, 2019 3:57 am
    There’s absolutely nothing wrong with not understanding the appeal of a sexual activity, if it’s not your preference then it just isn’t and that’s ok. Sorry actually I wasn’t referring to your initial... Ice31