If you notice, he was going to the war in the south and not returning home. He felt he needed to win that war to gain "enough strength". Then Ian pointed out there was a higher chance for him to die than to win, so my guess is he actually died in his previous life before getting the chance to help Iris. Since Iris is changing the story along the way, that letter asking him to go back might also be product of that. It would mean that letter didn't arrive before, not only that, but Ian himself didn't interact with Iris in his past life either. That's another important story point, since Iris has been actively looking for Ian's, Danny's and the other two characters (yet to be introduced) help in order to change her destiny. It might all be mounting out to that, his brother is finally going home to her after she by herself changed her destiny.
No, I haven't read the novel. And yes indeed it's as you said, she died before he could help her or in exchange he died before he could help her. Either way a death was involved. The thing about the letter is important, because then that made the connection for him to return home instead of 'becoming stronger' at this point in the timeline. He had no plans to return at the moment, but that letter made him go back. So you could say the letter, even if it wasn't sent by Iris, actually changed the storyline again. And the letter was sent in order to help her, which means indirectly Iris is the one that changed the story itself. At least that's how I see it!
If anyone's read the novel I might be wrong of course, but that's how I see it!
I'm just confused. So her brother suddenly now shows up and declares to save her... but what about her previous life? Her brother never bothered to show up.... This feels a bit poor in terms of writing...