the fastest way to figure out if an lgbt comic was written by a straight person is if it m...

Eh, that’s far from true. Are you Western? You’re showing quite some privileged ignorance of Asian cultures. Western cultures tend to be more individualistic, which is why Westerners may feel less pressured when it comes to non-accepting family. But for Asians? It can get hellish in more conservative areas. You don’t know that even your extended family is tied to Asians. Look at K-Pop stars, why do they get the heat when a cousin they may barely be in contact with does something wrong? Because Asians tend to be defined more so by their ties to others. That’s why there’s the concept of “disgracing your family”. Family is extremely important, and so is filial piety.

For you maybe, it’s easy to cast aside your parents as being a bigot. But for Asians, they don’t see things as simplistically as black and white, good and bad. They know their parents took care of them. They love them. But at the same time, they understand that their parents are wrong and backwards in thinking. Same for your partner’s parents. You hope for their acknowledgement; it’s why you always see tropes where the unaccepted wife works hard to gain the mother-in-law’s favour.

firstly, I am asian, by blood and by nationality. believe me I am familiar with the concepts you have provided above because I experience the same pressures in my day to day life.

my comment was extremely exaggerated so I get where you're coming from. but at the same time you've done literally nothing but add to my point?

The concept of 'disgracing your family' the conservative attitudes, filial piety and the complicated nature of deviancy in asian society . . . the reason this trope makes no sense is BECAUSE of these exact pressures. queer people are hyper aware of their standing within society, violence and discrimination isn't something we are free of anywhere in the world.

coming out of the closet when you are member to an unforgivingly conservative environment is just about the most dangerous and difficult thing to do. all queer people understand this, and who would be more empathetic of a persons reluctance to come out to their conservative family other than that person PARTNER?

myself and many of my queer friends will probably never come out to our parents, will probably never be "out n' proud" because it would genuinely endanger our lives and our relationships with our families/peers.
this idea that it is something we must do to be free or to be empowered is offensive and harmful. straight people do not fully understand this, and so they romanticise this trope and all its emotional turmoil.

pressuring your partner to come out just because you have, is abusive, regardless of cultural context. there is a difference between a character seeking acceptance from their family by their own will and a character barreling into it like its an obligation to their partner.

you missed the point. i didn't say it was wrong or right.

you said there's no way an lgbt person would do write about lgbt people wanting to meet the partner's parents, so the author is straight. (that's pretty invalidating for someone who is gay to be told that they don't "act" like a gay person would. i get you're exaggerating, but it's still harmful.) so i explained that nope, and gave a cultural explanation. besides, even if they weren't asians, the scenario can be pretty common. if one person luckily had accepting parents and lived in a more welcoming community, he may not see what's the big deal about meeting his partner's parents.

just to repeat, i didn't say whether it was wrong or right. i explained so you don't dismiss this instance that doesn't seem like healthy lgbt behaviour as non-lgbt simply because it's not healthy. lowkey i was motivated because some people carelessly defend lgbt people since they are less privileged, for a lack of a better word, and that causes a lot of toxic lgbt people to be given a pass (or that "there's no way they could do that"). like that girl in the manhua who pressured her partner to come out. not saying you are that type of person, though.

again I understand how my exaggeration might have been taken if you read it as literally as you have, of course there is absolutely no definitive way for queer people to act, that notion in of itself is harmful I agree with you on that completely

though I never said a queer person wouldn't write about a queer couple meeting their parents? I simply stated that with the cultural context provided (actually even without it) that I found the trope to be very bizarre and misguided, that this idea of a queer person forcing their partner to come out to their parents for the sake of their relationship being so normalised is indicative of a fatal misunderstanding about how queer people function in society.

but I also apologize for assuming you were supportive of this mindset.

so to put it simply; a lot of lgbt stories written by straight people tend to include this specific trope somehow, and its become something of a joke in the community because of just how unusually often it happens. I don't mean to entirely dismiss the fact that it is possible in real life or that an lgbt person would write the trope themselves, just stating that its sort of become a stereotype at this point with how heavily romanticised it is in popular lgbt media written by straight people.

yeah i hope i wasn't too blunt. i agree with what you said in your reply about forcing people to come out, by the way, you're very right about that.

this was my exact thought when reading the prologue,,, but its to soon to drop this looks good so far (minus the come out for me part and the student/teacher that might come up later)