Responses
Yes, this whole avoidance thing is giving me an anxiety headache. Shimizu Yuki is a strong and fearless writer who doesnt hesitate to carry through on situations she has taken great care to set up ... Zaizen receiving Kiriya's bones, for example.
i've noticed that kiriya has a tendency to run out on situations where he feels threatened emotionally, such as when he leaves to join the yakuza for many years when he realises his feelings for zaizen or immediately turns around in the latest chapter when he thinks about how zaizen had lunch with his ex.
kiriya has a severe 'leave before you get left' mentality because he's scared of rejection after being neglected his entire life. he even says 'i'm never anyone's first choice' or something along those lines to zaizen, which makes me extremely sad because i can relate to his loneliness so deeply.
at the minute, even though they've progressed physically, it seems that zaizen clearly understands that kiriya cares a lot about him, but only in a familial way, and kiriya is just sexually, not romantically, attracted to him. kiriya still believes zaizen is just going along with him because he's kind. i hope that zaizen and kiriya can finally confess their love to each other straightforwardly and openly and tell each other there's never been anyone else in the picture. i trust that the author will tie up loose ends with a satisfying ending.
this is one of the only yaoi authors whose plot and individual backstories i enjoy more than just the relationship dynamic and sex. she's great at creating complex, realistic, heartbreaking characters.