omg

I think the full version of the title is more indicative of her direction:

I Was Told That I Wouldn’t Be Able To Defeat The Demon Lord And Kicked Out Of The Hero’s Party, So Now I Just Want An Ordinary Life In The Capital

She specifically wants to put all of it behind her now that she's got stats that actually let her accomplish things on her own. She can make a normal living and she's no longer obligated to accompany the hero. Of course, her past will find her and we'll see how she reacts when the story gets to that point, but until then I think the benefit of the doubt is warranted. She's probably upset but doesn't want to let that define her life from now on (id est, chasing down Jean and giving him what he deserves) so she's tamping it down and trying not to think about it. That's my guess anyway.

that title wouldve explained so much more omg

i hope so but for now her character is starting off as completely bland

Read light novel its better

try and think about this from the perspective of some who not only was betrayed by her own group but was also sold into slavery by one of those same so called friends her NON reaction is PERFECTLY understandable even more so seeing as how both her and her friend milkit were BOTH horribly abused so killing a person for somebody like that is not only easy at times but is also something that people like her will feel virtually nothing over plain and simple facts those that have experienced torture can not only do things most of us would throw up from but can do so while not feeling a single emotion due to one simple little fact when you have experienced torture or long term abuse you start to develop what you might call a second skin or a second SURVIVAL personality and no i do not mean split personality disorder no not at all what i am talking about is entirely different but similar except instead of just blacking out and waking back up later no knowing what happened no instead survivors remember EVERYTHING from the blackout the only difference is at the end they feel nothing over having killed a person even more so if that person is the person that abused them or somebody like the one who abused them and in cases like that the death is normally horrible for the abuser

That was beyond torture she was being eaten while still alive by flesh eating whatever they were I'd rather be tortured.

It happens a lot where those who experience trauma to that degree or abuse (as I have), will disassociate themselves from the traumatic event. This is a way of coping and normally they can go through their life ignoring their trauma (it will come up again through mental illnesses however the actual trauma will not be focused upon by the person who experienced it)

I would also like to add that for some who have been abused the prefrontal lobe can be damaged causing the individual to be more impulsive and less empathetic or unable to think through certain actions. This may have also been a factor which influenced her actions and caused her to do what she did without a reaction (she most likely also disassociates herself when experiencing something traumatic, which involves killing others or committing an offence such as that) furthermore abuse can actually impair your ability to be empathetic or as empathetic as many individuals naturally are. This can be a characteristic that is regained through life and treatment but ultimately it will be impaired especially when experiencing a stressful situation or more traumatic circumstances. So this manga isnt being dry or unrealistic. It happens for a lot of cases. This is due to the trauma halting your growth as an individual both mentally and sometimes physically.

Moreover their reactions can come up through different ways, even if they don't react while it's occuring they may either react later, show their reaction through different ways, a change of behaviour that is subconscious or not at all. It depends for everyone.

They could also stop themselves from seeing the person they are killing as a person and block out the emotional reaction (which could cause them to feel it later) or they may justify it through thinking "they deserved it" etc. It all depends :)

you just said the same thing i did and you are in fact spot on i just hope others could see it as such because lets face it it is a fact of reality people snap due to stressful situations and many NEVER come back to who they used to be and in fact more often than not people who have been greatly abused can in fact kill without feeling anything due to as you stated removing their waking mind from the equation and instead rely on their more primal instincts which are quite simple FIGHT or RUN no other options and in her case and others like her FIGHT IS THE ONLY OPTION running means death

Exactly. I'm glad I found someone who is able to express this as well as I hoped I could.

I'm curious on how you know this though?

the young woman i am involved with was nearly killed by her father many years ago and other than myself and a VERY few other people she keeps to herself because she when over stressed or physically touched in certain ways is dangerous i have several scars myself that attest to that . i also have my own experience with abuse and being assaulted daily from when i was much younger and due to those repeated assaults on myself during school i have a VERY strong fight or flight response to anything i deem a threat or potential threat to myself or those i care for and sadly when the FIGHT response takes over i can remember everything i am doing but for the most part my body moves on its own first sizing up second if my brain says to big or to fast for me to take head on i go for a weapon knife pencil 2x4 does not matter something to even the odds and as a result when i am finally able to move about again i usually have several broken fingers if not my hands i also spend the better part of the next week sleeping from sheer exhaustion not so much physical exhaustion but mental i can not think nor really tell what is up from down for roughly a week so sleeping is the best bet ask anybody with PTSD they will tell you the same thing most it is a flight signal for others like myself it is more often than not a fight reaction that always ends badly for us until we learn to cope and not to react which sadly takes years and ANYTHING can set it off at times keeping calm is the key though so in the end it is something we never get over but we can learn to live with some through booze and drugs others through meditation others through appearing to be EMOTIONLESS others through constant anger all in all though we react much the same when a very stressful situation arises some run others rush in while those of us with PTSD or other mental blocks sit back for a split second to assess and then leave or rush in

I appreciate you sharing your experience. I really hope it gets better for you and the symptoms of your PTSD aren't as severe.

In my personal experience because of the abuse I endured, emotional, financial, coercive, psychological, physical etc I'd always fight in response to the person abusing me or my mum. I'd always protect others and sacrifice my own wellbeing for others. I'd always fight. I don't suffer from PTSD but I do have several mental illnesses etc.

I really hope the friend of yours is ok and that you also get better. You deserve so much more than you have endured and I hope you can move past this as best as possible.
If it's still going on I really hope it stops.

she is getting better all the time and she is not a friend she is my significant other and has been for a few years now we bounce off of each other well which makes life a bit more tolerable