Well I’m a year younger than ur niece and I was exposed to all this stuff when I was abt 7 or 8 (on accident tho). I think you should accept it? Maybe give her only ONE punishment and see if she still looks at this stuff. If she stops, problem solved. If she doesn’t, she probably truly enjoys reading/watching it (doesn’t mean she’s a perv or anything, she might have a more mature mind than you think.) also this sounds weird but can you tell me her birth month? Sounds weird but it has something to do with a persons mentality (￣∇￣")
Hello !
I'm a 16 year old teen and have read/wached yaoi since i was 13 too. To be honest, there were a lot of things that i didn't know at this time, i was more into cliché shojos/shonens with cool guys and shy girls with big boobs. I even started to wath highschool dxd (which has ecchi) cause a classmate of mine told me about it. I just watched the firsts episodes but didnt like the story much so dropped, but all of the boobs and asses and all scenes just got me a lil bit flustered. As a a girl, i knew what a girl kooked like, so i was like "heh whatever." I was scrolling thriugh youtube and saw a manga names Super Lovers. Like the dumbass i was, i was sure it was smth like lover boys having all the girls n all, but in the opening i saw no girl. However i started watching it, even though it was shotacon, it didnt shock me.
It had no smut but the intime scenes got me squeaking like a shojo girl. Later i learned that it was called yaoi, and really liked it, so i watched a lot of shonen ai/yaoi, in fact i've seen most of them but boku no pico.
So i wrote all of this, wanting to tell you that in my case, it didnt affected nor shocked me, so maybe let it slide while talking about it with her casually.
Hi, I think no matter what you do, she won't stop watching 18+ stuff (too accessible on the internet), so your best option might be to have a conversation with her and inform her that what she sees isn't representative of actual relationships and that she shouldn't ever mimic this stuff unless she feels ready to.
Even though you can't stop her, you can still inform her.
idk seems like you’re invading her privacy by doting on her like this- defo should have a convo with her about it, but you should stigmatize it, its normal, everyone at that age is finding out who they are, their hormones are everywhere and they’re frustrated! let her explore this world!
shouldnt stigmatize it*
It's fine for the kid to learn those things at that age. But it would be best for you to guide her or talk to her abput the things she sees on the web. We wouldn't want her to be an addict with porn videos, it would affect her health. At her age, she would likely be exploring things more than just watching, please monitor her for that, make sure that she is not lting to you when you ask her about certain things or about the things she is sharing with you. Be honest with her as well. Start by telling her what you did, how you found out about her secret, and what you planned to do. It will gain you her trust and she won't come to hate you, well, she might, but it will pass if you explain it to her properly. These days, teens like us tend to distance ourselves with the others because of certain factors that make us feel like we should ostracise ourselves or whatever, but it simply is a part of growing up. You have been there, you should know. So basically, what I'm trying to say is that you should talk to her, be honest with her, guide her in a good manner, and gain her trust for a better relationship in the future.
Hey, I know that so many people go through this when they're super young and I actually think it's natural, especially in this day and age but I feel weird because it's my own niece you know? I mean, I literally watched her grow up and seeing her act this way makes me feel uncomfortable and a little sad. She hides the screen when I glance at it, quickly shuts whatever she's watching, turns the tablet off when she doesn't use it, panics when I playfully ask about what she's watching...
I can't really punish her or get involved directly. I thought of either getting access to her account and monotoring her activity in secret or simply letting her figure things out on her own. I think I'll go with the latter after all... my sis and her kids are visiting and will soon be leaving us anyway.
She was born in november. She's the eldest child and has 3 younger siblings so she has to help care for the little ones. She's constantly under pressure to help out and do well in school and I know for sure that she's under pressure and wishes to move in with us. She used to be very sensitive growing up but became stronger and outspoken but VERY secretive.
Thanks so much for replying, you helped me see things from a different prospective (づ￣ ³￣)づ
I was introduced to porn at an early age and my father figured out. He sat me down and had a private one on one conversation about it. I hated him at the time because he figured out that I was watching porn, but I appreciate it to this day. I recommend sitting her down and you two having a one on one conversation about it. If she doesn't want you to, don't tell the rest of the family that she looks at this stuff, it'll make her trust you more and it prevents her from many unwanted conversations and family gossip about her.
It's hard to prevent children from watching shit like this especially since it's the age of the internet. So maybe the least you can do is to talk to her about how porn is greatly exaggerated to be appealing to the viewer, how she shouldn't sexualize people irl, etc.
If you're still too nervous about her looking at this shit, then monitor her from time to time to make sure that she's still safe on the internet, make sure that she isn't talking to any strange people, make sure that she hasn't posted/sent any sexual photos, etc. Don't monitor her every move, make sure that she trusts you with this information, okay?
Good luck, and I hope that everything goes well. Don't trap her into a corner and humiliate her, it'll force her to build up walls and be more secretive.
AND TELL HER TO HAVE SOME DECENCY AND NOT TO LOOK AT PORN WHEN SHE'S AROUND PEOPLE. JFC.
I'd be more concerned about educating her. Whether it's yaoi, straight hentai, or porn with real people, it's all very inaccurate and can lead to poor, uninformed choices when she becomes sexually active which will cause needlessly painful sex, STDs or pregnancy. You should sit her down and talk about it, how it's not like real sex, and how safe sex works. We can try and censor it, but in the end, some kids are sexually active at a young age. If she's old enough that she's looking up porn, she's old enough to have the talk.
It's not your responsibility. It's a mothers job. There are a lot of apps, tools and stuff. A lil bit too careless.
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!! I was at a loss when I found out but I feel much better about it and I'll try all of what you mentionned! lets hope all goes for the best (=・ω・=)
Just leave her alone. Most people started watching stuff like that at that age and it’s fine. It’s normal and you shouldn’t embarrass her over it
No don’t do that
No. That betrays her niece's trust right away and it'll make the situation a shit show.
Exactly. There’s no point to it anyways. She’s fine. She’s young and that’s the age where most kids start watching stuff like that, it would just embarrass her for no reason.
uhh yeah i started reading erotic novels online at 12 years old and i know some friends of mine who even lost their virginity at 14 so i think its normal since she's a teenager now and exploring stuff like that. if you have a comfortable relationship i think it would be best to tell her that those stories and relationships she sees are not what it's like in the real world and just to watch out for online predators and stuff you know
Thanks again everyone xx
Hey guys, here's an update of what happened. I plucked my courage yesterday and told her straight out that I knew what she was doing. She looked a bit distraught, tried to deny it and then she left the room. She came back a bit later with tears in her eyes and said she was sorry and that she wouldn't do it again. We hugged and had a little talk. I explained that it's pretty normal that she's curious about these things and that I was the same when I was her age. I told her that she was still free to do whatever she wanted but I insisted that she should be mindful about what she watches and how real life is not like that at all. I also told her to ask if she needed to know something. I added that she should restrain from watching such things when people are around because it made her look super suspicious and that was how I noticed in the first place. Later, I showed her clips of some of my favorite shoujo and slice of life anime in hopes of making her interested in romance and comedy instead of the things she watched and she seemed interested I guess.
I honestly don't know if I really made an impact on her or if she was just playing along so that I don't expose her lol but I'm really glad of how things turned out.
Thanks you all so much for your support, love you guys! xx
I found out yesterday that my 13 yo niece watches anime/amv/yaoi videos on her tablet and I don't know how to feel about it. I noticed that she's always hiding what she watches and acts suspicious whenever I ask her about it so I secretly checked the history and found the videos. Some of them are actually 18+ and contain ecchi fanservice, boobs, male characters kissing and probably more... I immediately changed the censoring option to hopefully hide some 18+ content and I think she doesn't know how to change the settings yet. I tried accessing her gmail account from my laptop to make more changes but wasn't able to because I don't have the password. My siblings and I were against my niece having a tablet from the start but my sis/her mother didn't care and just wanted to keep her busy. I'm pretty sure she thinks her daughter only watches cartoons and plays games and my niece totally plays her mother and lies to her. I can't really intervene because I'm the youngest in my family and rarely taken seriously and to be fair, I started watching/reading 18+ content at that age too but we didn't have the internet at the time so it was just TV and books till I was like 16 and I was still using the family pc so that limited my exploration but my niece has access to the internet all the time and on here own private device and I feel like it's way too early for her age. I mean, I was pretty shocked when I first read my first yaoi and I was 20 yo!!!!
What do you guys think I should do? I only have 2 options really: try to forget about it and treat her normally or secretly intervene, take the password and monitor what she watched from my own device.