Realisation

I agree up to a point, but at the same time have you see real couples where for example the girl says "let's have a break I am going through a phase " and then they do that and the boy stops asking to be together and ignores her (as per her wishes) and she realizes that everything was ok before and she was stupid to ask for a break. It is one thing to ask you to change something that bothers me and another to question the whole relationship

Good point. I can't remember the example that I was reffering to in this but I do sort of agree. i find a big problem when one person is exhibiting a certain kind of behaviour like let's say person A always makes comments about person Bs looks that are horrible and person B finally gathers the courage to say that they don't like this behaviour and as a result instead of fixing that behaviour this person completely changes their personality and doesn't speak to person A at all because it's not transformative for anybody. Person A is only backing off to spite the other person anyways and Person B will still deal with the manipulation afterwards because person A has learnt nothing. I think mostly I hate it as a trope used in books because it's not interesting or funny or cute I just don't enjoy watching it. sorry this comment is so long but in refference to your example I think taking a break entirely Is a bit different to asking someone to stop doing a certain behaviour but yeah people have to be careful about what they question

You are talking about manipulative people (handlers). Yes they are the worst kind, because in a sense they blackmail the other party to not have an equal stand in a relationship. In real life we must avoid this kind of people. They are easy to understand by negative comments, criticism, disappearing, threats (eg they will kill themselves if we do something...), they constantly try to separate us from friends/family. In yaoi sometimes we see when one is not certain about their emotions the other party stops and becomes cold in order for mc to understand their feelings. Ok this is a similar case fantasy vs real life. If it happens once it is only due to deep love and frustration and it results to an actual realization, ok (things are simple in fa tasy land

In real life ok let's say if you are trying hard to become a partner with someone you may use it as last resort but only once and quite carefully to not cross some lines. After that toxic behavior should not be tolerated

That's a new perspective I didn't think about ! so are you saying that the behaviour of slightly changing your personality isn't always manipulative but some times it's just a way people use to get their message across in a way a person will notice and that it's not intended to be harmful ?

We have a silly saying in Greece "people are like stamps, the more you spit in them they glue more". In Greek "I spit you" (slang) means "I ignore you completely". So when you ignore someone and do not show any interest he/she reacts and starts to care, because when you were running around them they take you for granted
Of course this is not an absolute win, you may try that and the other party might really continue to not care about you, but in the marvelous world of yaoi love always prevails