What should I do
I read yaoi just bcs I don't like YURI AND HAREM (I'm deeply hate it) and I feel yaoi have a true love (maybe just my imagination)
Just remember that girls can love other girls too like guys in BL. Maybe your hate towards yuri could be directed towards how it's usually portrayed? Some lesbian/yuri stories are just fantasies towards straight men but it goes the same for yaoi (which are usually catered to 'rotten girls'). OR it could be internalization homophobia, it's all well and good if it's two dudes but GIRLS? No, that can't be!
IFor harem, there's a lot of factors towards it being frustrating. Mostly to do with wish fulfillment and poor writing. I'm sure there are stories out there where the harem is written real good and natural. Polygamy's a think but so is power fantasy.
*internalized, if you're dealing with issues about your own preference.
or just homophobic in general lol
mmm i guess i can kind of get this sentiment? as a lesbian i find a lot of yuri off putting since it's geared more towards a male audience. i guess i'd suggest trying shoujo ai, it tends to have no smut and thus focuses on the actual relationship. one of my favorites are Magan&Danai, the chapters are short but it's really cute.
as for harems i don't know, i think they definitely don't portray a good example for poly relationships typically but they're not all bad?
i recommend tamen de gushi! so fuckin' adorable ヾ(☆▽☆) beloved by jaeliu is nice but it's got an age gap. there's sensual scenes but they're not obscene and very artistic. there's also this other one set in the future, i think it's called "always human"--it's about two girlfriends, one who gets body modifications while the other's body isn't compatible to it. It's free in webtoons, I think. Really cute!
for harem... the only thing i can think of one that made me smile. bakarina and the otome gang lol everyone, both men and women fell for her charms
http://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/otome_game_no_hametsu_flag_shika_nai_akuyaku_reijou_ni_tensei_shite_shimatta/
I can accept lesbian
I have many lesbian friends in my real life some transgender too
(I just don't like why all girl on manga not wearing proper outfits)
Dude and porn, in general, reduce anyone down. Fetishizing has to do with what you actually believe in real life aka even when you read these stories. But for many people, these are just stories or erotica. Woman/ trans people/gay in the industry are treated like trash.
Woman in anime or erotic anime still are over-sexualized and many men who read that stuff or watch it are already people who don't respect women it's not the anime or erotic animes reasons for why the reduce women into nothing but sexual pleasure objects.
A woman is still seen as an object even by gay men especially in certain scenes or industries in the community. But do you see us going after gays in the fashion world are this or when drag queens or so on over exaggerate and stereotype women qualities do we drag em? No, we don't because not everyone there is fetishizing. Some people are aware of woman as people and no their struggles and respect them but they have fem energy they wanna release and sometimes like to be called girl/woman when in drag only.
It's because it's certain people in those erotic industries not the industry as a whole. Some gay/bi men and women even say messed up stereotypes about gay/bi women/ men (i would know).
It's also hard for lesbians/bi to find erotic stuff they like because lesbian porn is like not designed for us and maybe we don't wanna see st8 erotic stuff (some lesbians dont like imagine a girl being with a guy cause they only like two girls, but lesbian porn is made for the liking of guys so they are ok with two turned on men). Some watch it all cause why not they like both sex or they just like seeing the real attraction.
There are the exact same porn categories to the comics here.No erotic stuff is for one sexuality/gender only. The issue people need to not fetishizing people while reading this stuff aka don't forget that gays are people and don't reduce issues. Also, remember it's fake and stories. If you wanna know about gay people educate yourself and if you read these comic you should do so.
However, some comics have homophobic/ignorant stuff in it and trust it is annoying to see and people who don't fetishize complain (i see it often) because its annoying. But tbh times are kinda changing and the comic are getting better kinda. But it is nice to see some people defending. I even see yuri comics being homophobic or unaware too and it's annoying. Like I'm only gay for you stuff BLAH but it's kinda weird (in case you guys don't know) in the gay men/women community there are a good amount of guys who love that irl but tbh it's unhealthy for anyone to think that's ok. If you sexually attracted to the same sex u gay/bi (oop)
if you read comics with gay characters you're not fetishizing anything unless you read this actually fetishizing gay men. Just like gay men read stories/ watch erotic stuff that hints at their fantasies of then turning ou st8 men or touching them while they are drunk or asleep. Yeah that's a thing but gay men know not to do that irl and they know not to fetishize it HECK some do fetishize it and it hurts others who don't but we can just say oh gay men who watch/read of this st8 guy (which is a lot) erotica is this and that LIKE COME ON. Its fiction and pass time.
It's like saying violent games make people do violent things. It's not true. People who do those violent things they see on video games have violent tendencies already or are violent without videogames. So people who read/ watch bl who do fetishize would have don't it without the comic or the shows AND those people are not lgbtq+ cause people from the lgbtq+ know what it feels like to be looked at only as fun or a game.
There are people who see gay/bi men as cute and an object those people are fetishizing lgbtq+ not all of them read gay comics but some do. Some people who read gay comics don't fetishize them tho and some are gay/bi men/ women themselves and irl have to deal with frustrating/abusive people.
Also i didnt write this to be mean. I just want you guys to be aware.