Damn...I'm hurt both physically and mentally... I can't sleep.... R.I.P. Etika. I'll never...

Erika? The user? Suicided??!!!

You don’t get it
No hotline actually does shit if u reached that stage, they will only call the police and u will be held like a criminal in custody

+1

It'll be a terrible experience too cause it's not like they care they only do it for money . the common
"its ok/it'll get better/ you matter" can be heard from everyone.

I would talk to friends instead, they actually care for you. they love you and they treat you well.

Plus they more or less likey are going what your going through to and it'll be nice to let everyone empty out sad thoughts and get closer.

Your words probably mean nothing to a person who's actually suicidal. I mean, I'm not quite at that stage but I can say being special wouldn't make me feel like living.

What if you don't have friends.

indeed..no one comes for help

Talking to my family makes me suicidal the most.
Friends? I don’t have any.
My family is the biggest passive aggressive creatures and the toxicity makes me suicidal .
I know the problem, it is me. I’m not fit for living tbh, it is all overwhelming to me. I tried to do it 3 times already and now I’m under 24 hours observation from my parents and I can’t even go out without having someone to be with me (because they love me so much smh)

The mere presence of their toxic words and how it is okay to be a failure which clearly means I’m one. Clearly admiring that I’m not fit.

I was never stable but I was never a failure either. Now i am literally so tense that my body is like under so much stress and I can’t move a finger .
You would think I’m on meds, but it is a stigma to have mental illness here so they are just “accompanying “ me 24/7 out of love and that they just can’t get enough of men... while we all know it . Meds are a threat for me too since basically three times were by meds

I'm just a rando but if you want someone to talk to I'm here. I can give you my contact info.

Is this legit? Not trolling in death people. Please that would make me so sad

I'm sorry to butt in, but I just wondered why there's no hotline for Canada. Made me curious.

Talking only make it worse. I have tried online friends and discord and reddit but in the end ...it is just me and my fucked up mentality, nothing changes and nothing will.
I really appreciate it but it won’t help. I have to bear with it until God have mercy on me and take my soul.

I can't really say anything that'll make you feel better, and since I'm only a random person behind a screen, not much of my feelings and actions will reach you.


But there has to be at least someone, or something to talk to. You always have yourself don't you?

When I'm in those sadboyhours (I almost came this close to cutting myself again yesterday but my sister was in the room and I don't want to be watched 24/7 cause that shit is honestly annoying)

I write my feelings down in my note book, it can literally be a "I'm sad" and then I write down the events that made me sad, why I feel empty and worthless, who made me feel this way,, yada yada yada.

And when I was younger, I would talk to my stuff animals. They (strangely enough) would comfort me and respond. If my parents allowed me to have stuff animals in my room, I still would talk to them and listen to what they had to say.

I know methods of coping with destructive thoughts is different with every person, but I may as well share what I do when I'm at my worst moments:
If your ever feeling worthless do innocent dumb stuff that will make your brain do work. For example, even if it sounds weird, masturbation can actually help get your mind off the thoughts since you need to really think in order to do it. essentially just do things that will preoccupy your mind and try to avoid things that make you drift off or zone out.
Also if you have no one to talk to or no friends actually try to go to a psychiatrist. Despite the media painting them as evil or manipulative they actually know the problems that go inside your head and they may know a solution around it. They're 1000x better than friends because at least they are trained to know how to answer your vents and provide you ways to stop the problem your facing.

**sorry if theres weird sentences or grammar errors, im a bit sleep deprived so pardon if my writings bad :P

I am really sad to hear Etika's passing
For all of you out there having suicidal thoughts i know these words wont be enough but no matter what happens you should always give life another chance because when you give up its over but if you keep on living theres always a chance to have brighter days
as a wise man once said:
where there is life, there is hope.

This might sound horrible but please remember that those people that you spoke to through online are actually living beings and you need to acknowledge that they are not entitled to make you feel better and listen to everything you have to say.
You cannot blame them for being unable to say the things you need to hear because they are not close to your nor are they trained enough to give you the proper solutions to a problem that revolves around your brain and your feelings.
Do not act like they did not try to help, try to reach out, try to communicate and later dismiss the attempts they have done to try and make you feel better. Also, what if the person on the other side of the screen is also in a bad mental state? How would they feel when suddenly someone is venting negative things that they have been through yet are unable to provide an answer since they are suffering also. You would feel hopeless and useless as your friend is venting but you have no idea what to do.
And don't even try to wait for an invisible entity to give you the solutions. Look for actual living people who know what you are going through and have studied for years in order to properly give out advice to those who have no will to live. Really what I'm saying is, go see a therapist or psychiatrist. They have trained themselves to how to deal with people venting. They know how to cope with this and they will actually give you an answer to whatever is in your head.

Even though it's better said than done, one of the only ways you can get out of depression is to do something about it whether it is big or small and to stop blaming your situation on the people who have no clue on how to deal with mental issues and stop thinking that it's only you that's left to deal with your problems.

Did u mistake me with someone else?
I NEVER blamed them, nor vented. The discord group and reddit were all about how to be better mentally and I never shared negativity except one time and I withdrew completely because I knew they will never be able to help.
I never said or blamed anyone, FROM WHERE DID U GET THAT? Literally from where??!!!


I said clearly above IM THE PROBLEM, me NO ONE ELSE.
I am not fit to live, I’m beyond fixation... I really don’t want start and say why I think that, because It would be negative without even solution. Aimless.

I never blamed them, why did u even say that? When I said they can’t and won’t help, I wish u read the first comment which was all about me being the problem instead of attacking how ungrateful I’m. Cuz I’m grateful, I’m grateful enough to withdraw because my issue is a waste of their time.

I can’t go to a therapist, my parents have a passive aggressive behavior and it is a stigma and they believe that going to a therapist will mean I am mentally unstable and they don’t want that. They like to think that everything is perfect and act like i am not suffering at all. They are against mental illness and believe if I took meds , they make me ill.

Again, I never ever blamed anyone tbh, except myself of course... sometimes my parents but online ppl who tried to help? Why!would I ever do that? From where did u get that even?!!

Ok then let's talk about it...I know we don't know you and you don't know us either but we can talk ok? so maybe you can just feel a little better hmm?
What makes you feel this way? &do you see a solution for that?

Hey Reign_Telepo933 this is exactly not something you should say to people who's battling with depression and anxiety :(

It's not something you could just snapped out of it, even mustering the courage and strength to open up could left me with tears and I end up not telling my friends because I was too busy crying/hyperventilating/freaking out and it got them confused. I think they're scared or at least wary of me, they probably labeled me as "that friend who seems to be always happy but detached at certain things in life" kind of person :(

I am grateful to my friends who have listened to my slow explanation on how I hate life. I find friends who went through similar experiences as the best kind to share and ask for advice.
However, there are those friends who I would never share these stories because they will present another set of reality I couldn't accept yet, and it's very painful to hear it from those you trust. At the extreme, I had to cut contact with those kind of friend because talking with them will make me feel guilty for burdening them and make them think that I've been a burden to them :(
I don't know if this makes sense but it's a cycle of trying to protect myself and trying to be a small and undetected as possible.. I want sympathy and strength, not judgement and a "it's okay this too shall pass" spiel or a dismissive "wake up it's just a phase" . Well it's been a very long phase I tell you.

I still prefer talking to my stuffed animals because they don't judge you and saying things out loud kinda help me put the knotted thoughts in my head a little bit tidier. Masturbating also kinda helps because it made me sleepy afterwards, and I do need the sleep after tossing and turning all night long hating and doubting your life choices.

I hope OP and Anon could find their own ways on cooling down. But talking do help, even if it's to yourself, or by writing it down, or to people who's actually a good listener and not a judger..

I’m really sorry for the bother. Thank u, just praying for me would be more than enough.
May etika Rest In Peace, I hope she didn’t suffer much before going. I hope she is in a better place too.

I just snapped sorry, I didn’t mean to bring negativity to this post

It's not like that and there's no negativy.Its just that you are sad because of something & whatever it is , it makes you feel sad & that's it...you are what matters... I don't know a thing yeah ...but Why don't you give it a try?maybe we can figure out something
The negativy is when I saw someone precious and lovely & don't care what situation they are in right now close my eyes and just go