I was thinking also about how much implied self-loathing gay men are made to feel which is so damaging to kids in their developmental years. There's a reason why they deem it as closetted, it's either complete denial of what you actually are, or fear that others cannot handle what you actually are.
I've been able to empathize with both characters in this story, because growing up gay for a lot of people is still not easy. I'm just glad they were able to reconcile their thoughts with each other. You could see the character development in Sawada when that girl implied whether he was gay and he stood his ground vs his younger self who would have definitely caved to that pressure of being outed. He's still got some growing up to do, but at least he's trying to steer himself down the right path.
Japan is a great society in many areas, but this manga although subtle really outs the actual pain gay people (or lgbtq+ people as a whole I assume) have to go through. Like you said, it's extremely damaging for kids in their development years to be closed-off into all their possibilities and rights as human beings. This is society's fault, no other way around it. His family might have been more accepting who knows, but society won't.
Many complained that he never apologized, but they were SO WRONG. Not only did he apologize every time he could, that even Itonaga mentioned it, but like he told his "friend" through the phone "he could never apologize enough". Instead of apologizing and making Itonaga suffer more remembering such painful things, he opted for making him happy and feel as loved as he could. And I respect that decision very much so.
Like you, I was able to sympathize completely with both characters specially Sanada. I have a close friend who's gay and suffered so much through his early teens (we're both past 20 now) because he couldn't accept his sexuality. More like, he had always been told he should marry a woman growing up and have kids. I can't imagine the pain he had to carry for many years. He tried becoming "straight" but of course that didn't work at all. I won't say anymore, but he's happy now.
I'm very happy the way the mangaka handled this, and I'm so happy both of them are now truly happy and will work hard together from now on. I'm curious as to what volume 2 will offer, but I expect much more development!
At first I didn't feel like reading this one as I read the comments about Sanada bullying him previously without even apologizing, but I cried so much reading it through.
Human beings are weak, cowards, and we have really bad sides to us. I'm not justifying what Sanada did when they were in middle school, but the way he repented all this time and the guilt he felt are so realistic. Specially during the phone call with his "friend", I sincerely felt his pain. When we were introduced to his POV, I had no heart to hate time at all. He didn't love Itonaga out of a sense of guilt, he simply felt guilty and hated himself for having acted that way to someone he loved but couldn't accept right away. They were young, so it makes sense he felt so panicked at the thought of loving another guy in a society where it's still "wrong" to do so.
Itonaga is an immensely precious being. He has such a beautiful soul, and I personally feel just how real he is through every action of his. The fact that he couldn't hate Sanada for suddenly acting roughly to him thinking it was because he noticed his love for him, adds so much to his character. He loved him, and he thought he was in the wrong for loving "a guy like him". None of us can say what he thought was wrong, that was his perception at the time. The way he grew and repented as well thinking he was okay even if Sanada was doing it out of guilt hurt me so much but it made sense he thought that way. I still don't like the fact that he thought of himself unworthy, but his self-confidence is really low and he's just one big kind human being. He'll grow from now on.
I could discuss it even more but I'd honestly never end, I'm pretty amazed at the way the mangaka depicted the human nature here. And the play and metaphor she added with the blindfold just made everything make even more sense.
I know many will not think like me but that's okay, we're all entitled to our own thoughts and perceptions. But it's been a while since I read something so simple yet that managed to bring out so much flavor with the characters. I can't wait for the second volume!