You sound like one of the few who really treasure their friends - and accept both their good and bad sides. Very rare nowadays.
If you really want to keep them all, have a heart to heart talk with them. Tell each one that you treasure them for who they are and that their friendship means alot. This will be tricky since you'll need to weigh each word (since words can be misunderstood so easily) and if you're going to talk to them separately, or together. Tell them how you feel - how what's happening is troubling/hurting you.
Or just let things be. Friends drift apart - which is really quite sad, but part of life and growing up. Keep strong - know that you'll be meeting friends in the future, too. Who wouldn't want a friend who treasures them for who they are?
Friendship is about accepting and trusting those close to you, no matter what.
From what little I've read and understand, friend 1 isn't being that great of a friend. I understand that there is a part of you that doesn't want to upset them or lose them because of past experiences together or because you care about them to some extent... but, if that's the only reason why you are friends with friend 1, that's not fair to either of you. If you stick with anyone (friend, lovers, acquaintances, family etc) for the sake of saving face or sparing feelings, it'll only get worse and you could end up regretting it later on.
Granted, I only know so little about your relationship, so my response might be lackluster to what you're looking for.
But if all else fails, think of what you should do. The thing you want to do the LEAST is possibly exactly what you need to do.
Be safe and stay strong my friend!
It's ok btw the comment section of this site has basically become a counciling circle
I'm here for it tho
Ahh this is really a tricky situation.
I think the problem that you should resolve is the ambiguity of your position. You have two friends who are fighting each other, and even if you are not directly involved in the querrel, you are not a complete stranger to the situation neither, because there is a possibility that these friend of yours talk with you about the other party (you didn't specify it). This leds to the fact that you know something more about a person the other is unaware of, some potentially valuable information that if leacked could led to the defeat of other party, so they are forcing you into choosing a clear position, because from their perspective, you are like a pendulum, swinging from side to side, and this ambiguity is doing a number on their mind and to get rid of it they want you to take a stance: what are you, a friend or foe?
But there is another role you could play, and that is the role of a complete, utter stranger. You could say to both of your friend that you refuse to take side and it's your wish to be treated like someone who is not directly involved in the situation, and that means in your presence neither of them has to talk about the other person, like he/she doesn't even exist. Like this you won't have any information about one friend that the other friend could in some way obtain and potentially use as an advantage, so the paranoia this ambiguous situation is creating will be no more and your friend won't have any reason to ask you to take side, or to suspect you of plotting behind their back.
But even after that, if your friends keep on asking you to choose, I suppose it's better to choose as soon as possible, if you don't want to lose both of them.
I had a bestfriend before and our relationship was toxic. I was not happy anymore and it was stressing me out just by talking to her. So, despite our good old times I decided to end our bestfriend status into just friends. It was not easy, I didn’t want to hurt her but it just had to be done. After that I was actually relieved and happy that I don’t have to go through that again, we still talk sometimes.
Omg guys, thanks for the responses, I have an idea of what I should do, but I would really appreciate it if some of you guys could talk with me one on one over mail on this website about it to know more about the situation. (Maybe we could even be internet friends!) Please tell me!
It's fine by me! :)
So I know this is a manga site, but I need help. So basically I had this group of friends that I was close with. I'll just call them friend 1, and the 2 other friends. 1 of the friends talked behind the other 2 friends back, and the 2 friends found out and had a fight with the friend and they split. I'm still friends with all of them, but now, when I talk to the 2 friends, the 1 friend asks what I'm talking about with them. The thing is that I never really liked the 1 friend. She talks and spreads rumors, even though she isn't even popular in the first place. But anyway she gets mad at me everytime I talk to the 2 other friends, and when I talk to the 1 friend the other 2 get suspicious and tell me that I should just say f off and not talk to her anymore. But I still kinda like the other friend, since we had our good times together. Please help, I don't know what to do!