My month of luck!

This month has been by far the unluckiest month of my life!
This chain of misfortunes began on a single day, where I went for a check up at hospital since I didn't have much of appetite for few days and it turned out that I had a cold, which is scarier than anything in my case since whenever I catch a cold I basically become the most useless being on the planet.
But oh, how lucky I was, that wasn't even the beginning of my duper month, I rested the next day and when I woke up, I got greeted with a cockroach standing in front of my face, with it's antenna thingy inspecting my nose, and as anyone would have expected I screamed my soul out before steaming out of the fking room, by chance the house keeper was ringing the bell, and I went crying to open the door and asked for her help then she killed that monster.
After calming down, I quickly went and scrapped the hell out of my face with soap, i barely prevented myself from fainting but with washing my face so hard, my nose started bleeding, and I had the longest nosebleed in my whole life!!! Not only a cold, not only woke up with a kiss from cockroach but the nosebleed was added to the mix, but nooo that wasn't the end.
I didn't sleep for three days after that, thanks to my little friend, I kept having those cockroaches nightmares whenever I fall asleep, but I slept on the forth day after a fever striked me hard taking all the energy in my body, no cockroach in the whole world was scary enough to keep me awake after that.. I slept like a corpse!
After my sleeping coma, I woke up energetic and fully had recovered from the cold, so I decided to take a walk as a refresher since I didn't get out of the house for three days, and then, I fell off the stairs... Thankfully I didn't get hurt much so I quickly stood up only to fall the rest of the stairs down, I went to the hospital again and had my dislocated shoulder fixed... Sigh...
I had to rest for few days to be more on the safe side, then my friend called me and invited me to hang out, I wanted to get out of the house so bad so I agreed easily, man at this point I didn't care even if we went to the garbage I just wanted to go out somewhere... So we went to a restaurant near by, hahahaha- ah excuse me, it's just I'm so lost at words, the waiter spilled all our food, not on the floor, but on me, yes, I went again to the hospital, thankfully it was only first degree burn so it wasn't that bad, but yeah I bet the doctors in the ER memorized my face by now.
After I got out of the hospital, terrified by the outside world, I quickly took a taxi back home... Everything in me couldn't be more broken, is what I thought back then, but I proved myself wrong again when I closed the taxi's door only to slip off face first in the middle of the street, my face was burning me with pain, the taxi driver got out and helped me up and asked me if he wanted to drive me back to the hospital and I literally just bursted into tears as I nodded to him.
When we got there, the doctors didn't even ask for my name, they knew me right away, I became their regular patient, after I got treated I went back home, and just slept like a log, I think I'll just stay inside my house for a while before exploring the outside world again ...
I'm seriously writing this here because I'm afraid to go out or invite someone to talk to, since I don't know what might happen, man, this was one hell of a month for me that I'm just laughing at what happened, thought I'll share my lucky month, that way someone at least will get a laugh out of it...