Has anyone had a crush on their best friend and just doesn't know how to work out their emotions?

Ophelia January 5, 2019 12:23 pm

Hey guys, I'm a pansexual woman (21) and I've come to realize I'm kinda atracted to my best friend who is also a woman. I kinda uncovered these feelings when she confessed to me that she was bisexual and was crushing on a female classmate at her uni. When that happened I felt pretty sick to my stomach. At first I assumed it was just friendship jealousy but slowly I came to realize how my feelings in our friendship were. I did usually crush on other at my uni (we attend different universities) but when ever I hung out or talked with her every one just disappeared. And it's little things that made me realize how I saw her as a possible significant other. I eventually did confess to her (albeit very awkwardly) but she kindly turned me down saying that in other circumstances perhaps. We still treat each other as best friends but I feel that something is different. I just don't know if it's good or bad.

Responses
    shit January 5, 2019 12:35 pm

    Your going to feel sad because she likes somebody else but it's an ok thing but you need to make a move and gane her trust on make he feel some kina why

    RaeAir January 5, 2019 12:42 pm

    So I have been on the other side of the equation where a close friend told me that they liked me. I turned them down because I didn’t have any feelings for them however it was a little awkward for a while. After spending some more time together and talking things through we got back into the same groove and things went back to how they were before and the awkward atmosphere left.
    Maybe in this circumstance she is considering it though and that’s why the atmosphere is different?
    Is it an awkward atmosphere or a romantic tension between you? It can be hard to differentiate sometimes if you can’t tell what the other person is feeling. My suggestion is even if it is awkward, I would talk about it with her. Sometimes it’s best to clear the air and get things out in the open. Who knows? She might be worried about the situation too.

    Amethyst January 5, 2019 4:36 pm

    Everything will work out with time..better than my friend who found out I had crush on her nd she called me disgusting (among our friend circle)nd that comprised my awful teenage years..

    Ophelia January 6, 2019 9:44 am
    Everything will work out with time..better than my friend who found out I had crush on her nd she called me disgusting (among our friend circle)nd that comprised my awful teenage years.. Amethyst

    Wow sorry to hear that. Luckily all my friends have been supportive towards my sexual orientation. And thanks for ur suportive words.

    Ophelia January 6, 2019 9:51 am
    So I have been on the other side of the equation where a close friend told me that they liked me. I turned them down because I didn’t have any feelings for them however it was a little awkward for a while. Af... RaeAir

    First off, thanks for taking the time to answer my question i really appreciate it. Sometimes I feel that she may consider me as a possibility. After my confession it kinda just became unmentionable history so when we hung out for the first time (in a group to keep things cool) after it I was slightly worried she may feel awkward around me. My worries disappeared when she choose to sit next to me rather than next to our other friend.

    Ophelia January 6, 2019 9:54 am
    So I have been on the other side of the equation where a close friend told me that they liked me. I turned them down because I didn’t have any feelings for them however it was a little awkward for a while. Af... RaeAir

    I do still have other things I wanna ask her but I'm too worried that I might make her nervous. I honestly don't mind talking about things. I consider myself a very open person but her on the other hand tends to avoid topicsome that make her uncomfortable.

    Ophelia January 6, 2019 9:57 am
    Your going to feel sad because she likes somebody else but it's an ok thing but you need to make a move and gane her trust on make he feel some kina why shit

    Trust me I've kinda low key flirt with her but I restrain myself because I don't want to make her feel awkward. I wish I could just ask her if she would be okay if I flirted with her but I honestly think I'd worry her or something.

    Amethyst January 6, 2019 3:18 pm
    Wow sorry to hear that. Luckily all my friends have been supportive towards my sexual orientation. And thanks for ur suportive words. Ophelia

    Ur welcome :)
    Good to know that they are open minded...when I say that I'll make a gf ppl think I'm joking...

    Jade_Sings January 6, 2019 8:19 pm

    Well I'm glad you told her and it's hard to say stuff like that especially if you don't want to ruin a friendship or alter it.. do feel like she doesn't see you in the same way as before? Or the bond yous two had is different now?

    Ophelia January 7, 2019 8:35 am
    Well I'm glad you told her and it's hard to say stuff like that especially if you don't want to ruin a friendship or alter it.. do feel like she doesn't see you in the same way as before? Or the bond yous two h... Jade_Sings

    Well it's like idk she sees me as a friend and I feel that she is aware of my feelings yet she pulls me in somehow. Like for instance she was talking with a guy she likes and when I joined in on their conversation she teasingly accused me of cockblocking her. She has also more or less amazed of my openess on being queer. She has also mentioned how I seemailed to be a bit mascline (which is not true in my opinion yes I like wearing guy cloths but I very much like dresses and see myself as a women). She has no problem being touched by me and very much talks to me albeit at times she calls me and is awkward because she doesn't have anything to say she just wanted to call me.

    Jade_Sings January 7, 2019 4:52 pm
    Well it's like idk she sees me as a friend and I feel that she is aware of my feelings yet she pulls me in somehow. Like for instance she was talking with a guy she likes and when I joined in on their conversat... Ophelia

    Wowzies that sounds like she's playing with your feelings plus a feel like she doesn't know how she feels

    Ophelia January 8, 2019 6:15 am
    Wowzies that sounds like she's playing with your feelings plus a feel like she doesn't know how she feels Jade_Sings

    Well i wouldn't want to accuse her of that. We've been friends since middle school (so like 8/9 years) and i can tell when she seems conflicted. I don't want to pressure her. She isn't as emotionally stable (and by that i mean she gets angry sad nervous and depressed easily). UGH i just want to talk to her about it but it makes me all worried now.
    (╯°Д °)╯╧╧

    Jade_Sings January 8, 2019 10:59 am
    Well i wouldn't want to accuse her of that. We've been friends since middle school (so like 8/9 years) and i can tell when she seems conflicted. I don't want to pressure her. She isn't as emotionally stable (an... Ophelia

    Ahhhh I seee.. Well I would say if it's still happening by the end of the week then push your worries aside, and TALK WITH HER

    Ophelia February 21, 2019 5:59 am

    Hey guys slight late update so me and my friend talked and it looks like she likes me too ╮( ̄▽ ̄)╭. Problem is, since we both live very far away and lead such different lives we have decided to just remain friends. It was some conversation really. Since I had told her I was doing my best to keep myself busy and not think about love and such she apparently got depressed went to a party got drunk and kissed some girl (who this girl is I got no clue and in all honestly kinda bugs me and I wanna know who this girl is but i didn't want to press her for questioning). She told me how she felt and we talked and well here I am feeling kinda happy she likes me but at the same time kinda sad we can't really be more than friends.

    Jade_Sings February 21, 2019 9:41 pm
    Hey guys slight late update so me and my friend talked and it looks like she likes me too ╮( ̄▽ ̄)╭. Problem is, since we both live very far away and lead such different lives we have decided to just r... Ophelia

    Awww yayy!!