Responses
I think you're fixing yourself huge objectives for a short amount of time. '^'
Being a good child/sibling/student takes time and effort. Of course you can't do it in a month.
Just try to improve yourself with little step. Apologize when you do something wrong and start working on your school stuff an hour a day.
Those are how you begin improving yourself.
So tomorrow is my birthday I have been thinking in this day for a month saying to myself that by the time I'll get to this day everything is going to be better or just fine at least but I can't I really can't I keep failing everything I failed being a good kid for my parents, good sibling, good friend, good student I failed loving this world not it past, present or future, I failed loving anyone most of all I failed loving myself and I don't know why... I just want to puke all these feelings. I tried really hard to find a solution but of course I failed too I can't find any reason to keep going it is all too much I didn't choose to live but I want to choose to die stop everything before I fuck up everything more not only for me but for those who are around me still I wanted to give it one more chance a chance to I don't know what maybe so I could say I really tried everything including asking for help say what you want even if it isn't nice I already think it is too lame to do this but why not? I am sorry