contrary to popular belief, asexuals can have sex -they just don't enjoy it. I've read up on an asexual forum, a lot of them let their partners have sex with them because they want to fulfill their partner's need for intimacy -but they definitely don't feel any pleasure partaking (some even described sex as a chore like cleaning out a fridge, lol). just wanted to chime in the conversation.
I'm an asexual and married you can't imagine how hard it was at the beginning of our relationship. i actually went through identity crisis because i didn't know what was wrong with me but then i learned about asexuals and that cleared alot of things
I have best friends of mine who identify as asexual, and yes there are some who identify that way or feel that way, but there are also soooo many different versions and subclassifications of asexual that mean different things to different people. I don't necessarily think Joel being asexual would mean not having sex entirely.
I think Joel refuses sexual intimacy with Adam because of a mindset and belief that men shouldn't be together because of laws and politics, and some things about giving in to sexuality and his moral ground being part of his character, and maybe a little fear and some personal identity crisis.
Joel's inner struggle and Adams remark that he should think with his lower half for a change, which rattled Joel, made me think of this, and how maybe Joel could be just struggling with his personal and sexual identity--though that probably won't be the case here, he'll probably have to overcome his predispositions, and be open to being vulnerable and to come to terms with his feelings and then he and Adam will become romantic and intimate and have 100 fujoshi babies.
I was just thinking that wouldn't it be something if in BL some semblance of an asexual orientation would be represented, or even the concept was introduced (much how like in yaoi manga the concept of bisexuality is overlooked).
I used to identify as a no-contact asexual for a good six years or so--I had no desire to have physical relationship, but I did like the concept and I could feel turned on, I just didn't care for the physical contact part. By the time I came to terms with myself, found friends who GOT IT and supported me, and had to figure out that I wasn't broken and didn't need to be fixed and I was okay with myself--I found that I could be in contact with those that I felt romantically for, I just couldn't have a physical relationship with a stranger or sex friends or anything like that. But I think coming to terms was the hardest part, and learning about the different kinds of sexuality out there in general made me realize that there is no one or the other and everyone's entitled to be different and that there's enough people out there that no two are going to be entirely alike. I'm glad that you found yourself and were able to figure out who you truly are and find a spouse/partner who understood that, through the hurdles and all. Overall though, I'm glad you can be who you always were now (๑•ㅂ•)و✧
I know this is def not the case here, but wouldn't it be a curveball if Joel ended up identifying as asexual or some classification of ace. Adam would have to come to terms that he would have to love Joel without sex, which has defined his character as philandering playboy up to that point. Again, not the case here and I'm totally fine with that, but wouldn't that be a curveball in the yaoi trope machine ╮(￣▽￣)╭