
I know what u mean... 18 yo and the same as you, never had a boyfriend and never thought of having one (more like there's no one that picked my interest even if I don't mind appearance and my standards are not high).There are 2 sides of me, my friends only know my happy and calm side and not the sad and insecure one... And I don't plan of showing them
Idk if I want to let them see my weak part, it's not like I don't trust them it's just that I don't wanna appear.. Weak(?)
Well I don't think it's a problem, I just wanna show them my best and make them proud of me. Oh but I know for sure that they will accept me even if I'm weak and insecure
Idk, someone asked me recently, do you have a crush on someone? I kinda thought about it... and no. It’s not like i have any hard standards (that our relationship helps to grow and better both of us as an individual), i don’t really care about appearence, and it’s just kind more like I don’t let anyone that far into my emotional state. i think its kinda weird as i am a 16 year old in a highschool who is not remotely obsessed with purity or something.
I’ve always been the one in my friend group that seems emotionally stable and responsible (hence my nickname mom), which i know is not entirely the case. I’ve never opened up about my jumbled mess of a mind to anyone, not even to my best friend, or my parents. It’s just quietly simmering there. I don’t think I can currently trust anyone with that much personal vulnerability, and I know that isn’t a good thing, the only thing keeping me stable is self reflecting. I really do want a relationship with someone that helps me open up to people, but right now all of the people I’m friendly with aren’t really... mature enough to understand my weirdly contradictory mental thoughts, and idk. How should I open up to others more?