so the dude never became your boyfriend la
No he became my bf. It’s actual a fucked up story. Originally he just wanted to sleep with me but bc I liked him (and bc I thought it would be a shitshow if we hooked up) I kept him as a friend. But I liked him so much. He was basically my teenage ideal. Long brown hair, high cheekbones, skinny, looked like he just left a 90’s Lallapalooza concert. Plus he had issues, don’t ask why I was into troubled guys. But eventually after a night of partying we hooked up and started going out. Although we broke up quickly because he was horrible. But a month later we went back out and this time it stuck. For the most part. We would break up every other night and be fine again the next day. Except we had a huge blowout right before I had to go to rehab. While I was in rehab I found out he’d gotten wasted and slept with a friend of mine so I left rehab to go punch him in the dick, but he’d had this revelation that he was actually going to lose me this time and that he loved me. I’m way to forgiving and hearing him say I love you, melted my heart. After that we were inseparable for two years. It’s was tumultuous and we became infamous for our spectacular fights but obsessive love. I ended up leaving him bc I screwed up my birth control and got knocked up. He just couldn’t settle his shit and I was so obsessed with our baby he felt jealous and insecure. As a result he was incredibly, breathtakingly mean to me and I didn’t want my baby to grow up seeing her mom treated like shit. Plus I was trying to be a good mom and not a train wreck and he hated that. After we broke up I heard the story of how he’d thought I was gay. Anyways how we got there is a much longer story and I think this is long enough. I’m just felt nostalgic for a min. I fucking loved that guy like I’d never loved any other guy. But it was a doomed relationship from the start.
Wow, that was a roller coaster, now i don't mean to pry since i did ask and you did tell but i hope ur doing fine now since you have a child and all. I'm sure ur a great mom and i wish you all the best. take care
It’s cool i did over share. I’m feeling reflective lately. Having my kid changed my life. I was an absolute mess before her and although everything that made me a mess was still there I suddenly had motivation to be better. It’s like previously I had no concrete goals and my life revolved around self destructive behavior. Even if I kicked one a new one would develop. But when I held my baby in my arms I fell into the deepest love I ever felt. I was fascinated by everything about her. I’d watch her for hours and my favorite thing to do was lay in bed nursing her with her little hand curled around my finger. Before her the only thing I looked forward to was getting wasted. After her I had no interest. I’m now a stay at home mom with a kid and two dogs . Ppl who haven’t seen me in years are dumbfounded. I don’t even drink anymore other then a rare half beer. I have to deal with the anxiety and other issues I used partying to mask but I’m working on it and my kid is happy. She’s awesome.
it's cool oversharing your information to a stranger while ur identity is hidden is waaayy better and plus its not something to be ashamed of or anything cause everyone goes through some sort of stuff, honestly ur doing well and i hope ur daughter grows up to be just as well. laying off the drinks may be better for ur health and it is ur choice to drink or not
....art almost ruin a future relationship. I had painted and chained a Barbie as an art project and my future boyfriend assumed I was gay (bc he’s a fucking idiot). It’s only bc he found out I slept with one of his friends on occasion that he found out I wasn’t gay.