I am confused as well but I think he planned on dying ? maybe ?
When he was a teenager he had an affair with the sensei who taught him painting and when the town found out he was a pedophile he killed himself in the mountains. Rui believes it was his fault and blames himself all these years. Hes probably in love with kazushj now but cant move on from that guilt
Im hoping this trip to the mountains where the sensei died is more about getting closure than killing himsel. Im pretty sure he wouldnt bring kazushi if he actually wanted to die
I think his initial plan was to die but Kazushi changed it.
OMG THANK YOU FOR EXPLAINING I WAS SO CONFUSED
Wait guys i think I'm not understand the story is there someone else rui love or is rui have another lover ?! please someone Explain the story for me *^*