This made me feel better about this story. I remember the first time I read it I thought it was sad too but now I think it works
I'm glad to hear this. We don't need to feel bad for either of them because neither of them see themselves as victims. :)
Just beautifully said... I love this author so much, their work is always so nuanced in it's dynamic plot and characters. Thank you so much for sharing this analysis! It helps give me a better grasp as to why I enjoyed the story so much while it seems to be lost on others.
I don't remember why when I first read this I felt emotional. But now, I just find it fun and enjoyable, not sad at all???
To me, they're playing a personal, mind game and it's really fun to read/watch now. They're playing each other and I've started to think that Big Brother isn't really pathetic. He's a little pathetic, by conventional standards, but honestly, I think he's doing it on purpose so he can give Natsuo that excuse or escape that he needs so that he can be "honest" to some extent with himself. Like, Natsuo won't come on to Kimi even if he wanted to, but if Kimi initiates and gives Natsuo the opportunity to blame him and call him perverted, then he'll surrender to his desires/whims.
And that's fucked up, I know. But they're fucked up together. I don't think anyone's a victim in their relationship. Maybe it can be viewed as toxic? But honestly, if the two players are Kimi and Natsuo, I don't think it's toxic. Because Kimi has a strong mentality and accepts everything about himself, while Natsuo's mostly all bark and no bite, and just bluffs and bluffs, it's ridiculous to hold a grudge against him. The only time he's dangerous is when he's hurt and wants to hurt back/punish Kimi. But other than that, Natsuo's criticisms don't really touch Kimi; Kimi doesn't take his words to heart most of the time because that's just Natsuo's armor talking. And that the important thing is, is that his little brother still indulges him despite what he says.
And besides, I'm pretty sure Kimi can handle anything thrown at him just from this bit of dialog:
Natsuo: Don't put that in your wank bank!
Kimi: Nothing you say will stop me.
This guy is strong!
Edit: Also, it's likely Kimi deliberately shows his perverted self/is shameless to Natsuo as his version of revenge. Kinda passive aggressive revenge for all the trouble and damage Natsuo caused by his pettiness in high school, and the continuous sharp barbs he throws at Kimi. So no, Kimi isn't really that weak, pathetic, hopeless romantic that deserves pity.