no you're completely right & if you don't mind me asking. How was your time in Japan? I plan on traveling (to various places) the the future and instead of hearing from those who visit with rose colored glasses, i'd rather hear from someone who can make this assessment.
Sure, I don’t mind! I’ve only stayed in Yokohama (3yrs) and Tokyo (1yr), so I can only talk about the urban areas. The work environment in the city is quite difficult, especially when you’re a foreigner like me. One time, I couldn’t get my salary and ended up wasting my time because of bad employers who take advantage of these tricky labour laws.
Food was incredibly convenient and cheap to get. Visiting Tokyo and Yokohama area really is interesting if you go as a tourist. If you’re not planning on touring the foodstops, save money by buying food from 7/11s and other konbini. Food like pre-packaged onigiri is always a good idea to munch on when you’re walking around a lot.
Buying individual train tickets is a lot more expensive than using a train pass (I used a Pasmo card). Plus, when you’re leaving to go home from the airport, you can return your train card to get money (usually like 500yen).
The LGBT scene, which I frequented in Shinjuku during my nights off and free time after work, is quite different if you’re from the West. Certain things and labels like pansexual, gender fluid, non-binary, stuff like that aren’t very common terms but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist in Japan. Some people pick up the Western labels, but mostly the LGBT scene there had their own words for it. You might know some already, like “top/bottom” is “tachi/neko”. Non-binary/genderfluids have their own scene but I can’t remember what it’s called right now. There are daytime cafes, bookshops, and stores for LGBT people if clubbing/bars aren’t your thing.
Like I mentioned in my post, LGBT relationships doesn’t officially “exist” in the eyes of most major politicians and government officials (but there are those who support!). There is a very, very common social belief that “straight wins in the end, so if your crush is gay/with someone else, keep pushing and you’ll get them”. I remember seeing this gay, interracial couple during a summer festival (they tried to hide a few kisses here and there, and love is always loud to see), and there was this girl who kept shadowing them and asking one of them for their LINE address.
Wow, that was very disrespectful of the girl. And very disrespectful to the LGBT community making it seem like their love is not real and would come to an end eventually. I wonder what would those people do if no matter how hard they tried pestering someone they never end up winning them in the end. I would seriously laugh in their faces. How would they feel if they were in a relationship that no one agreed with and was just waiting for them to break up with their partner? Hearing such things is so sad... Can't people just leave the LGBT community people alone instead of forcing them to be something they are not. Ughhh (╬￣皿￣)凸
thank you so much for your input and keeping it real! I don't think i'd live there, but I do want to travel there and I will take note of those things! & about the couple at the festival I guess that's why so many authors write from the perspectives they do when it comes to the clingy girl in BL manga. With that type of behavior accepted by those major politicians and government officials it's no wonder that it spills over into BL manga.
Which I understand, but when BL authors write off the “clingy girl” trope as this girl who should be praised, that’s when the trope is perpetuating the “she tried to be pushy and didn’t win her gay crush no matter how many times she tried to make the relationship end, that’s why we should feel for her”. Because that happens way more than it should. The persistent straight guy/girl always gets social acceptance and sympathy.
I remembered when this girl saw me at work, and she applied for a similar position just so she could get close and ask me out. She and I became good friends so I thought I could tell her I’ve been dating my partner for five years, but she said “It’s not going to last, right? I can keep trying, then.” Then when I complained to my manager about her improper behaviour (I didn’t come out), everyone in the office treated her so well. The male staff would say she’s the perfect wife material, and she would keep asking me out for lunch. It created so much unnecessary tension, in the office and my private life too.
I just wished authors stopped spilling what the Japanese government and straight society see about these pushy men and women. There’s more than often that last minute attempt in BL to force the readers to forgive the girl. “Look at her crying, she also deserved to have the guy. Of course she’s never gonna apologise for her behaviour, instead she’ll be hailed as the heroine who got them together. What will gays do without the pushy girls?”
Anyway, that’s all I have to say about the matter. When you visit Japan, I wish you an enjoyable and safe trip :)
Exactly! While I understand that straight folks also get their share of pushy men/women who try to break up their relationships, at least hetero relationships are seen as legitimate. Alas, I saw the news about this Japanese woman campaigning for a position in the government, and she publicly said on TV that LGBT relationships bear no fruit and is thus not real, people in gay relationships should find a husband/wife and contribute to society. It made me ill to watch her speak. I wonder how many straight guys/girls watched that and were encouraged to keep trying to break up LGBT couples. :/
I'm so sorry you even had to go through that! I was annoyed just reading how she kept approaching you. & sorry this has nothing to do with BL, but it annoyed me all the same. I'm not sure if you read One Piece or not, but Oda trying to make the audience feel sorry for Pudding & Sanji's dad almost made me throw up. Like let horrible characters be what they are--horrible. & Let lovers (and Pirates) live in peace
Wow, what a disgusting thing to say as another human being. Despicable! Well, thankfully that girl who was trying to cling on to you in order for you to like her is (hopefully) out of your life so she doesn't cause trouble in your life again. I really hate when people don't know when to just give up. I sometimes feel like yelling at them "They do not like! So get over it and leave them alone". It is not only disrespectful to the person they claim to like but also to that person's partner.
As much as the author tried to make me “sympathise” with the girl, it really didn’t at all. Usually, I’m very protective of girls in BL because they get so much shit. But in this one, nope.
BL has a habit of using the “I believed that because I’m a girl, I could win your love”-trope, when in reality it’s this awful, purposely-ignorant thing that happens A LOT in irl LGBT relationships. When someone of the opposite sex sees their crush in a relationship with someone else, particularly with the same sex, they assume that because they’re the opposite sex, they can “win” in the end. That heterosexual relationships will always win in the end as long as they kept pushing for it.
I’ve known plenty of my lesbian and gay friends who’s had men/women pester them assuming that because it’s a gay relationship, eventually it will end. Especially in Japan, where lgbt relationships are commonly perceived as “not legitimate” (remember: gay marriage isn’t legal, and gay prostitution is legal because the government+society believes that anything gay is not real). That it’s not a valid relationship, and as long as you keep ignoring or persisting, eventually your gay/lesbian crush will leave them for you.
You guys can ignore this, it’s simply my own observation from this manga, BL, and the lgbt culture during my time living in Japan.