Chapter 51: Is it that difficult for parents to see through their child's eyes?

"There's truly a belief that communication will resolve all problems, like a group circle. But if all parents were open-minded or just had the slightest desire to see through their children's lens, I don't think problems like this would exist."

^This.

And even if people had good parents like mine the expectation that communication will resolve things still puts too much of a burden on the wrong person's shoulders while putting none on the shoulders of those it should. Nor does it only apply to parents, I firmly believe.

Also, in regards to Yuyang's father reprimanding Yuyang for simply walking away, it sounds like his father is the one who hasn't learned how to accept the consequences for his OWN actions. (Which, now that I think about it, would not be guesswork at all, actually.) It also sounds like he would have preferred Yuyang to go on full blown attack rather than walk away. But YUYANG did something wrong by walking away? Sounds like he was actually being the 'better man' through his OWN parents' narrow lenses. Wow. What parents, eh?

I know Asian societies apparently tend to be more family oriented but that still doesn't give people an excuse to treat their children like shit.

I'm not Asian so I don't know if this beliefs follows thru in there culture. But in one of the arguments I had with my own parents as I got older I remember them saying you are my child and I will make you do what I want and make you like what I want you to like so you can be a version of me or even better.
So my point is a lot of parents are reliving their own lives thru their children so when their children turn out to be different than them they get upset. Which they shouldn't but they do and when they get upset a lot of the times they make their children feel worthless in a childlike attempt to make them do what they want them to do.

Wow, you even quoted me! I'm glad there was a portion of my comment that you agreed with or resonated with. :)

Could you elaborate? -> "And even if people had good parents like mine the expectation that communication will resolve things still puts too much of a burden on the wrong person's shoulders while putting none on the shoulders of those it should."

I think to communicate, people need to respect and listen to each other. YuYang's parents don't demonstrate their respect to him as their child who is gay and faces discrimination. Disregarding YuYang's emotions or trying to 'fix' him to be heterosexual again are definitely not signs of respect. Without that respect, they just don't have the desire to listen to YuYang, let alone understand and communicate with him. :/

Oh my gosh, YuYang's father accepting the consequences of his own actions... -__- If all parents knew to say "I'm sorry" to their children, that would greatly improve relationships. Speaking about cultures caring about maintaining face, that sometimes includes not apologizing to your children because you're always supposed to be right; apologizing would mean you were wrong, and not everyone (parents included) like to admit that.

"It also sounds like he would have preferred Yuyang to go on full blown attack rather than walk away. But YUYANG did something wrong by walking away? Sounds like he was actually being the 'better man' through his OWN parents' narrow lenses. Wow. What parents, eh?" <- I hope I understand what you meant. Are you suggesting that YuYang's father was not fond of our protagonist leaving the family meal? I think YuYang's father wanted YuYang to stay at the table and accept his aunt's words without arguing with her. Although the readers could see why YuYang left the meal... -_______- YuYang never asked for his aunt's opinion and it doesn't take much to support others.

“I know Asian societies apparently tend to be more family oriented but that still doesn't give people an excuse to treat their children like shit.” <- I agree that no matter what the circumstances are, people should not mistreat their children. Folks could be family-orientated, but they could still be supportive. I don’t believe in conforming your children to how you want them to be, based on your perception of what their ‘own good’ is, without seeing what they want or how damaging your behaviour is. :/

I like that you first acknowledged that you're not Asian, so you didn't intend to make assumptions. I suggest adding an s behind 'culture,' since there are various Asian cultures in the world. :)

So, your parents wanted you to be a mini them... Liking what your parents like and doing what they want you to :/ As much as children could grow up resembling their parents, they are still distinct individuals LOL! Parents making children feel worthless through childlike attempts, as you worded, is exactly what YuYang's father intended... :/ I don't know what role YuYang's mother played through the family reunion, but YuYang's father was truly trying to guilt our protagonist. I would understand parents being upset if their children did immoral things, but in Here U Are, you see that no wrongdoing has been committed @_@

Oh yea sorry about that. ⁄(⁄ ⁄·⁄ω⁄·⁄ ⁄)⁄ I actully thought I put cultures but now that I reread it I see more mistakes in my spelling and grammar.

I completely agree with you. A lot of the times I see that parents only react violently and unhealthy the way the father did is only when they are embarrassed or ashamed of in this case YuYang.
The mother I think still played a part in the dinner because just like poo said nothing often times leads to something"

I posted before I was done opps.
Anyway
The something in the mothers case was that she let her child down and didn't defend him making him even more shunned by his family. And the more she keeps just doing nothing the farther he will get from then until one say they will see that he has completely cut all ties with them and they would have lost one amazing son.

I'm baffled when parents get upset at their children, even if their children are principled and kind individuals. Sometimes, they could get upset at their children for choosing to take a one-year break in school to volunteer or work because they're 'wasting time.' Other times, parents could get upset if they think their children are 'not religious enough.' Honestly, the list of complaints could go on and on.

From our conversation, I could totally see what you're saying about parents being upset when children aren't a mini them. There are parents who map out how they want their children to be (reminds me of a bioethics course I took, where there were discussions on genetic engineering, and parents aborting fetuses with disabilities), like wanting their children to be piano players through piano lessons, or incredibly religious through daily religious teachings, etc. I think there is that feeling of betrayal when your child does not turn out the way you wanted them to be, like "I raised you as X/raised you a specific way, how could you not be who I intended you to be? I'm only doing what's best for you!" :/ Sometimes, it's not even major things, like getting a tattoo on your shoulder.

Is the key for parents to not have major expectations for their children but to accept them for who they are? Definitely teach your children, like manners or your native language(s), but don't be upset if your children are not 'as good' as you, or maybe they tried but don't hold the same interest to the same extent as you. I think if your children aren't like you and you feel ashamed or humiliated, then that says a lot more about you than them... That's something people should examine, but instead of doing that, they just let their emotions out on their children, which leads to family tensions and stress for the children. :/ It's then no surprise when the family ties sever, or the children leave altogether.

Sadly, I think you're right that YuYang's mother remaining silent is contributing to the family disapproval YuYang already faces. I remember when I was in elementary school, we were taught that bystanders have a role to play in bullying for doing nothing. Bystanders could call for help, but by watching a fight or seeing someone get bullied... It makes the bully feel more powerful and they don't see what they're doing as wrong. So, YuYang's mother staying silent could be interpreted as her agreeing with her husband and sister-in-law. If YuYang's mother expressed, "I love my son. YuYang being gay should not be a reason for us to pursue another child. YuYang is not harming anyone, so there isn't a problem," that would make a major difference, because at least YuYang would have ONE person for moral support. <33

I could totally envision YuYang's mother staying silent and wanting her son to come home, but YuYang's father would continue to give the silent treatment and judge our protagonist's outfits or choice in activities, which really would make YuYang get away from them.

Now... I'm wondering if it's that difficult to accept someone? Is it that difficult to accept differences when no direct harm is being done to you or any other person?

Haha, this conversation got me thinking xD If you'd like to chat more or be friends, then let's go for it! :)

I'm going to start off with your last paragraph because I was thinking exactly that as I was reading this. I find you interesting and would like to be friends if you have a discord we can do that. Since I'm only ever on this in the morning or sometimes at night.

I completely agree with you in everything that you said. Actully I'm quite suprised with how much I agree with your statement .

To respond to the question of it being that difficult to accept someone. People if not being held to expectations by their parents are held to even greater expectations by the society. I live in an area were everyone is basically one ethnic race. And I've come to notice that social media is an important part in determining who you are. If your gay you gotta act maybe a bit girlish and have a list of conversations that would offend you. If your emo or goth you have to like dark colors and that straight hair look and love heavy metal rock band maybe even sport a think bracelet to hide your scars. Maybe your a book lover then your most likely a nerd and all nerds have bullies in common. They can't stand u poo for themselves so they just let it happen. Well the list goes on. I understand that I'm using very heavily assumed stereotypes but know that I dont believe everyone is like this.

My point is that in most cases alot of people feel presueared into likening or following the example of what other fellow 'gay, goth, nerd, prep' is like. Alot of times going as far as hiding what they really like from people they believe are friends. People dont fake chances in losing friends because the idea of being alone is more scary than doing what you like. Soso we start viewing people in the same manner we had started viewing ourselves over time. If your like this you must like or be like this. And if you fall from the expectations then your weird and you start getting shunned. And if your the one shunning you either have no clue why your doing it other than having a slight nagging feeling in the back of your head saying that person is different let me not be around them or your doing it again your better judgment cuz you dont wanna be shunned as well.

Accepting others is extreamly difficult when you have everyone around you telling you how you should act or be 24/7.

Now there's alot of good too in this society when we all gang together when an injustice happens legs use YuYang as an example. We all hate his parents for being like that instead of understanding like the 'ideal ' parent should be. However we only agree with YuYang because we see all the crap he is going thru. If we were honest with ourselves and lived there we would probably just ignore him cuz why bother with someone so outspoken and in tune with themselves. In fact if we didn't know what he was going thru alot of us would be just like his family and tell him things like 'just do what they want for now' 'why not just hide your gay' maybe some of us would even just downright try to make his life a living hell cuz why the hell not. Why can he be different.How often do we stay away from others or a bit to opinionated or say something that's right but you get mad and ignore them. How often did we stay away from the kid who liked the same thing you do but is getting hated on cuz he is different.

Even tho I say that I hate judging others without getting to know them I still judge. I find myself doing what scocitey has instilled in me cuz being honest here you spend a hell of a lot more time around social media and school than you ever do with parents.

I started going off on tangents there. And later I'm probabaly gonna think what did my stupid half asleep mind write and post for the world to see.

But for now. The world sucks and the people are worse. We all hold each other to standards but fight the standards others have on us. Some standards people hold are wrong like parents similar to YuYangs. And others we are even wors cuz you they enable you to turn a blind eye to what you believe is wrong.

I definitely got off topic here but I hope you can take this jumbled mess and see what I mean. Oh and remember I'm generalizing because I know its different with different cultures. But this is what I have seen in the past 6 years living in America and in one city.

Hey, I hope you’re doing well and enjoying October. I’m glad I finally have the space and time to type to you thoughtfully. School came back in September and I’ve been drained. -_-

Anyways! I hope you continue to enjoy Here U Are, and as of chapter 53, I could proudly say I am enjoying YuYang and LiHuan’s journey :) To get back to you about contacting you further… I don’t have a Discord account. :P We could try Twitter. Do you have a Twitter account?

“I completely agree with you in everything that you said. Actully I'm quite suprised with how much I agree with your statement .” <- Haha great minds think alike! You even called me interesting, and I’m curious about what you mean by that too :P

Wow, the area you grew up in sounds completely different from where I grew up! :O I even had a high school teacher who labelled my school as ‘homey,’ which one of the principals agreed with because of how comfortable the environment is. People at my school did whatever they wanted to. I could even say my school didn’t have cliché cliques that could be seen on TV shows. Maybe there is a bit of a difference too since my area is racially diverse.

It was very sad to hear about gay people being expected to behave a bit ‘girlish,’ which is an incorrect perception on gay folks altogether. Sexual orientation and one’s gender identity do not necessarily align. :/ It was sad to read about nerds getting bullied too – lol, it’s cool to have a brain! :P Damn, it seems I might as well have been bullied if I was in your area!

It’s sad to think that people even hide themselves from folks they label as their friends. I was one of the kids who was more of a floater. People didn’t really have the courage to go up to my face and start fights with me anyway lol but even if they did, I would just shoot them down for being irrelevant. :P Maybe it takes a lot of emotional support and a healthy environment for people to proudly be themselves? Of course, it’s like what you said and what YuYang said in chapter 53… People don’t necessarily understand you. In my discussion thread on chapter 53, I talked about feeling lonely when you feel no one truly understands you. Maybe sometimes, the cost of being yourself is feeling lonely if others don’t understand you…. But I think I would prefer to live that way than concealing myself.

It seems like you’ve talked about acquired personalities people gain from their environments, which is what Jumin Han from Mystic Messenger mentioned in V’s route, on day 7 in the 2:32 AM chatroom. Jumin said we all have a natural personality and an acquired personality. A natural personality is who we are innately, while an acquired personality is shaped by our environment. Maybe it’s when people leave the environment that forced them into their acquired personality, that they could finally be themselves. I think YuYang has much more freedom to be himself now that he is a post-secondary student living on university residence, but that makes me curious about what will happen once YuYang graduates… Will YuYang pursue a master’s degree immediately after he graduates? Or will YuYang intentionally find a job faraway from his family and live apart from them?

Have you read What Lies at the End by Haribo?? When you talked about being shunned for being ‘weird’ (different), you either have a nagging feeling of that or your friends leave you because they don’t want to be outcast… I’m curious to hear what you have to say about What Lies at the End now :) I won’t spoil that story for you, but I hope you enjoy it! <3

“Accepting others is extreamly difficult when you have everyone around you telling you how you should act or be 24/7.” <- Boo, that sounds like a toxic environment :(

Hmmm, I see that you’re trying to address that people tend to stay in their comfort zones than fight against numerous people who discriminate others. (Do you read or watch The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation? Pulled on my heartstrings and does show what could happen if we don't fight back against injustice.... T.T) That’s not something I could personally relate with. Besides my environment I briefly described, I am in the social work department, so I’ve been taught, and I have liberal views if that’s how I should call it xD I don’t mind telling folks off for being racist or manipulative and lose them as friends. Life is much happier when toxic people exit it ;)

I think regarding social media, we have control on what we’re exposed to. For example, if we’re talking about Twitter, you could choose to follow schoolmates who love to tweet nasty thoughts, or you could follow cuties like DJun and spazz whenever he posts about LiHuan and YuYang :P In that sense, you build a wall between yourself and those nasty folks from school that you won’t see again after you graduate anyway (assuming not all of them live near you).

We could be part of different communities, not just stuck with out school communities for example. Fandom is a lovely and broad world that we have lots of say in. Your in-person friends may not understand fandom for example, but you could also make friends in the fandom that understand you VERY WELL. I’ve befriended folks from fandom and we could talk about ourselves too. Sometimes, I think we could forget how big the world is :)

So I'll elaborate on the things you had questions about. Sorry, I didn't see this pop up in my notifications until you posted your last reply.

My point about communication was that even good parents (or even any good person for that matter) can make the mistake of thinking everyone communicates the same way (FYI, in case you didn't already notice, I have a disorder which affects communication, among other things. Before I continue, however, I would like to mention how grateful I am for how you asked me to elaborate, instead of putting words in my mouth, and addressed the words I said, (not) the ones that too many other people have thought I said). For me, that leads to stress and even greater difficulty with communication, since that means even the people I am closest to have made judgements that I'm just not trying hard enough to communicate properly and, at the same time, that this stress they're causing me shouldn't make me any less willing to communicate. So both the responsibility as well as the criticisms almost always fall on my shoulders.

The point about Yuyang's father was that he saw Yuyang walking away from the table as a dereliction of duty but, to me, it looks like, if he made him stay, Yuyang would have blown up and wouldn't his father have seen that as an even worse 'sin', then?

Anyways, my handle is Jingurei on Twitter if you also want to talk with me about anything else, on there.

I am doing well thanks. I hope this month is going better for you. This is actully going to be my busiest month with work so I dont have much time for me.

Okay so i dont have alot of anything I only have accounts on fanfiction sights and snapchat other than that I dont go on the internet much. Kinda weird now that I think about how little I actully do. So far the story is going great I like the ups and downs that go on. I like feeling the feels.

I say your interesting because I you say similar things as what as you said a liberal says and in my experiance most people dont really like my general thoughts. But wi t.d h rhat said I'm not really that into politics I think what works should be done and people should just put differences away once the votes have been counted. But that's just a minor part other things is that from the words I've read you seem very this is me and I'm amazing. I mean that in a good way. I dont come across alot of confidant in themsleves type of people.

Yea my school was weird. I mean we were all free to do what we wanted but cliques were there just not exactly set. We all talked to everyone no matter who they were but when you saw the people that called themselves friends you can tell the cliques are there. I talked to alot of different people in high school tho I did hang our with some people more than others but that was mainly because are schedules were almost exactly the same.

I don't as actully talking to my mom about that the other day. My family is very Christian. And she was telling me about some guy that said he the reason why he can't accept gays is because God made man and woman as sepreat beings. Which is dumb cuz being gay doesn't mean you think your self as a girl or vice versa. But most people just dont understand it they confuse gay and trans to be the same thing most times. But that's a big conversation.

My school itself was a nerd school so you didn't really see the bullying happen to the nerds cuz they were top in my case ins tee dead if you were dumber than others you got a horrible school life. I'm serious nerds are savage when they bully.

I'm reading what lies at the end so. I haven't read it recently cuz I was waiting for more chapters but I think it's very good. I'm assuming your either referring to the whole brother being bullied and how not standing up for himself made a mess. I tried putting this in a way that if by chance people read this won't get it spoiled.
Or tdd he fact that his personality is a big change for others to take and he got shunned for being "mad"
I think because he is an adult and has lived by himself for a hell of a long time made him realise what he wants and showed him that others opinions dont really matter at all. It shows that he suffered by having to be alone but it also showed he doesnt have to go againt his own morality when making those big decisions. Again I haven't read it in a while so I need to reread it to know what it was that I really liked about it. Since when i looked it up i have it under the comment section. "Dude this guy just perfect sorta twisted but right on" so now I'm curious what made me write that. >.< I tend not to remember much of the things I have finished so I always have to fo back to it.

I haven't seen the grandmaster of demonic cultivations
The little I read right now it seems interesting. So I will check that out tonight probabaly.
I have cut out alot of people in my life most of it was because of me moving citys but the rest is because my bluntness got to alot of them. I dont usually give my opinions unless I think the topic is interesting. And in the past couple of years I've found thoughts and reactions to be the most interesting. Unfortunately questioning others beliefs and opinions is not very accepted. Tho I have to agree I didn't really sugar coat.

I lived in a family that if you dont explain why you think what you think and explaine why the other person is wrong then you have no reason to believe in what you believe. This is also the reason why I dont really not not talk to those who disagree with me because I can only take what is givin to me.

Again so I dont have social media so I dont know how much that works so much. However I said what I said cuz even if you dint have social media your exposed to it thru the news and he he conversations around you. You can do everything you can to keep what you don't like away but at the end we deal with it anyway in rl ah but if you successful enough you dont gotta worry about that unless you famous cuz then if you go againt try he main flow then your done with. I dont mean to become friends with the toxic people but you gotta see them so you can learn from them or you end up doing the same. History will repeat itself but only because history is written by those who win the battles. Either a messed up person won or someone who wants to keep the toxic truth away. Kinda reminds me of that animamated movie that came out recently small foot.

In the end tho the most Important is to have a place that is yours a place that you fit in cuz everyone needs to be understood and the best place for that is a fandom a grou pool of people that like what you like. Cuz theres peolle in it for the same reason you are and people like things for the same reason you do may not be the same person but at least one person agrees with one thing you do.

I've been in alot of debates and arguments this past two weeks and I think it showed in everything I said. I kinda went to morality of rationality someware there. Which is weird. But yea.
Hope everything is going well. Let's see were this story goes. ○/

Hey, no worries about not seeing the notifications and replying later! :)) Happy New Year to you by the way :)) I'm currently on school break -which is ending in two days ╥﹏╥ - so I have the energy to reply. Just curious if your Twitter is still @Jingurei? Do you follow DJun? :c

I also see what you mean about people being capable of thinking everyone communicates the same way. It can be annoying when people make comparisons like, "I can do X, why can't you?" Not everyone operates the same way, which is something to accept. Some people may lack the empathy to recognize that homosexuality isn't a choice, for example. That also means that some people only understand once they have been in the same position. And it can be difficult to communicate with people who just refuse to see from another perspective.

And you’re welcome :) It can be frustrating when people make assumptions on what they think you meant, not address what you actually mean LOL. I would prefer it if people just ask questions, really. I notice that when people assume what you meant, that can change the topic, and then you don’t know if you should just continue with your original topic or respond to this new topic that person has now chosen. :/ It can be something so simple like saying, “I like elephants,” and they can reply, “You like seeing elephants trapped in zoos?” And the conversation can somehow shift to the ethics of animals being caged in zoos LOL and you don’t know whether to reply to that, or continue talking about you liking elephants :P Anyway, a ridiculous example, but people can commonly make that mistake. And I think that’s what’s wrong when people make assumptions about gays, for example. Being gay itself is not wrong, but society makes associations and people internalize it. YuYang’s parents have adopted society’s stigma of being homosexual as being unacceptable :/ And there’s just no way to talk to people who refuse to listen… *sigh*

From what you’re saying, it seems people don’t always have the patience to listen and understand. Sometimes, people get tired of asking for clarification, which may be why there is the assumption that you (and I think others face the same) aren’t trying hard enough to communicate. :/ But I think there are different communication styles to consider. We can think of several people or characters who may not verbally convey themselves all the time, but their actions speak volumes (our baby LiHuan, Wangji from The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, Ieyasu from Ikemen Sengoku: Romances Across Time, Soohyuk from King’s Maker…). It’s not that these people don’t care or they’re not trying hard enough to communicate, but people just have their own ways of expressing themselves and showing they care. Sometimes, it takes patience to understand someone too, and that’s not something everyone is willing to invest their time and heart into. :/

“The point about Yuyang's father was that he saw Yuyang walking away from the table as a dereliction of duty but, to me, it looks like, if he made him stay, Yuyang would have blown up and wouldn't his father have seen that as an even worse 'sin', then?” <- You brought up a good point. YuYang was in a double-edged sword situation. When YuYang left, that can easily be interpreted as YuYang being disrespectful to his aunt by disregarding her words, and not fulfilling his duty as a youngster to listen (respect) an elder. Meanwhile, if YuYang stayed, he probably would have argued with his aunt, and that could be regarded as him disrespecting his aunt by going against her. So, yes, either way… YuYang could not win.

Hey! I hope you are enjoying the new year and that this month is less busy for you at work! :) This month won’t be too busy for me too. ^^

I don’t think I’m someone with a lot of anything too. I’m not a Snapchat person xDD And I still don’t have a Discord account. I don’t even like WhatsApp, which I’m forced to make sometimes for school assignments ┗( T﹏T )┛

“So far the story is going great I like the ups and downs that go on. I like feeling the feels.” <- Your last sentence especially summarized why I read stories LOL. I LOVE feeling the feels too!! I like how real Here U Are feels. I think love can be so simple: you can like someone and want to be with them. Period. That’s all there is to it. And that’s how LiHuan feels about YuYang.

So, love can be simple, but people can complicate love. We see that YuYang is complicating his situation with LiHuan by not wanting LiHuan to face the scorn homosexuals face. However, there is undeniably so much joy to loving someone too. LiHuan isn’t just in love with YuYang and pursuing our older boy because our taller boy is clueless: LiHuan just knows he loves YuYang and that’s it. I think there can be more regrets to not pursuing someone when a suitable opportunity arises, versus not being with them at all in fear of the what-ifs. Chapter 65 was touching in showing us that LiHuan is willing to stay with YuYang, without fear of homophobia. :) And that kind of courage… I think anyone in YuYang’s position would be touched, I could honestly cry LOL.

“I say your interesting because I you say similar things as what as you said a liberal says and in my experiance most people dont really like my general thoughts.” and “from the words I've read you seem very this is me and I'm amazing. I mean that in a good way. I dont come across alot of confidant in themsleves type of people.” <- Thank you :) I don’t think it’s very hard to be confident in oneself either. Sometimes, people get very affected by what the people around them say. I do think that if you don’t believe in yourself, why should you expect others to? It can be encouraging when someone says they believe in you of course, but if there is no one around to validate any confidence in you, then you still have yourself.

Oh my goodness, I just want to roll my eyes when people confuse being trans and gay as being one. When people say God made man and woman for a reason, they’re referring to our seemingly two biological sexes (why do people exclude intersex folks? :/), not necessarily gender identities. There are so many gender identities that people refuse to acknowledge. But anyway, some people like to think that males and females (not the same as men and women in the gender context lol) are made to procreate, but they don’t consider that not every male and female chooses to procreate or can procreate. It is true that if you’re gay, you can’t procreate with your lover, but you two are still capable of procreating (artificial insemination for instance) and you can still raise children together.

“I'm serious nerds are savage when they bully.” <- I don’t know why, I grinned when I read this xD

“It shows that he suffered by having to be alone but it also showed he doesnt have to go againt his own morality when making those big decisions.” <- Taemin is lovely, huh? :) What Lies at the End was my first Lezhin comic, so it stays with me emotionally. <33 I loved feeling the feels from that story too. The power to stand up for oneself can be amazing. It demonstrates that if you view yourself in high regard, people would be less motivated to look down on you. There is that saying, “fake it until you make it,” so if you keep convincing yourself that you’re amazing, it’ll show. :) (And now I’m motivated to read What Lies at the End again LOL… xDD I love Woojin’s persistence <33)

"Dude this guy just perfect sorta twisted but right on" <- You may have commented on Woojin… :P I don’t want to spoil in case you forgot though. I adore characters who are devoted <33

“I haven't seen the grandmaster of demonic cultivations
The little I read right now it seems interesting. So I will check that out tonight probabaly.” <- If you’re interested in The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, please please PLEASE read the novel! The novel was the original and all the details and FEELS are there! The webtoon couldn’t include everything (sadly not all the monologues), and we have China banning homosexual portrayals to keep in mind too…. “-_____- The donghua was very enjoyable, but once again, there was A LOT that was not shown as of season one due to China’s homosexual ban + there were changes too. So anyway, I hope you enjoy! :) And if we can talk about the series, then yay!

“In the end tho the most Important is to have a place that is yours a place that you fit in cuz everyone needs to be understood and the best place for that is a fandom a grou pool of people that like what you like. Cuz theres peolle in it for the same reason you are and people like things for the same reason you do may not be the same person but at least one person agrees with one thing you do.” <- I think being around people who understand you and being in a space where people have things in common can make you feel accepted. :) And I agree, I think that’s something everyone needs. We can certainly learn from those who have different views from us and critically engage with each other, and then leave the conversation with new knowledge and acceptance. Like you, I have met people who aren’t in love with hearing different views. Some people internalize differences as insults, and you know it’s a bad argument if they target you as an individual with a “you’re crazy,” instead of critically engage with what you said.

“I've been in alot of debates and arguments this past two weeks and I think it showed in everything I said. I kinda went to morality of rationality someware there. Which is weird. But yea.
Hope everything is going well. Let's see were this story goes. ○/” <- Debates and arguments can be fun in widening your horizons, which can be great. :) I hope everything is going great with you too.

Should we consider sending private messages here then??

Hey what's up! :) I hope you are having a great year so far too. Yea my job died down towards the end of December so I had some relaxing time off. That's good to hear your month won't be busy either.

Yea my messaging is also done for work but its sorta relaxing not to have to respond to mass messages like I see my sister do.

I love the pureness of LiHuan love it makes it nice to see then we get kicked in the heart by the chaos surrounding YuYangs past and dissision to refuse his feelings. He may be openly gay but he decently isn't open about his love. LiHuan is going to be so good for YuYangs mangled heart once he sees that LiHuan is in it for real love no matter the looks he gets. Also because he is so big and scary looking to most people I doubt others are going to try to mess with him much. He looks like he can use most of the charchaters we've seen so far as toothpicks. >.<

that's great that you can bring yourself up. I know how it feels to have nobody really care so when I see someone who seems to have a ton of confadance it makes me think yea I can do that too. It brings others the seeds of their own self conscience. If they want to change that is

Yea trans and gays are two very defrent type of people. Now I for one dont really understand when people identify with other genders outside of male and female but then again I've never meet anybody that does so I've never really seen their side of it. And it's not like I actively go looking for others reasons to be what they are all I do is say cool and continue being a friend if that's what they want.

You grinned cuz you know they be savage. Also I have to say sorry for my really poor typing skills. I did not proofread that last message at all and I am very embarrassed. So I will try to make this message not all crappy like the last.

What lies in the end was probably one of the first yaoi colored ones that I read so it is memorable but I still haven't gotten around to finishing it. I get distracted alot by bringing shows with lots of episodes. It really is a problem.

I dont remember who I commented that for I would have to read it again. I feels like the charachter I was thinking about was like this happy guy that was shady. And I dont think he was either of our two main charachters. But my memory is a bit fuzzy with the story which is good cuz I will enjoy it from the beginning instead of thinking I've read this part.

I actully did start reading the grandmaster of demonic cultivations and right away I understood why it's called that. Its actully pretty good so far the only think is that I didnt get to far because I started binging another show that a friend of mine watched and decided to start spoiling it. This guy seriously hadent talked to me in month he also donest really watch anime. But he still suddenly calls me about this supper cool anime he is watching and that I should watch it and was just spoiling it saying he would stop when I watch it. Oh the anime was blue exorsist. I started reading the manga but never really got last the first few chapters only because at that time I was reading a lot of action and wanted something more mushy idk.

But now that you reminded me about it again imma finish it since there isn't that many chapters. I saw that it was a book when I had searched for it so now that you say theres alot of stuff cut from it I shall read it. I dont like it when theres things cut from the book espessially when it's made into a manga since Managa is almost limitless.

Yes! I hate it when the argument point they make to you own opinion, which is an opinion, is to attack you. To me its dumb and the only thing that's left after those arguments is them feeling upset because they could put your argument down and you being frustrated but still victorious.

Debates are pretty fun. There entertaining to watch and be in. Which is funny because my sister complained to me a few weeks ago that when I get into a heated debate it lasted for a while. A long while. But it's not like I'm belittling the others argument or self I'm just hearing there points countering what I hear that goes againt my own. elites and making my point then we both learn were our logic can be off. I probably got this from my dad tho since as long as I can remember my dad loved debating and me as kid thinking I'm always right played right into his hand.

I did not know you can send private messages here. But it should be alright I just can't promise I'll see the message right away since I sometimes dont come on here for one or two days manly because I'm not in a very good signal area right now. Whatever you feel more comfortable using

Hey, happy New Years to you, too. Hope you had an awesome start to it and have an awesome year ahead of you!