Hi, it really sounds like your going through a lot. I'm sorry to hear that. I understand what you're going through. I'm considered the smart child too and my mother favors my younger brother and sister too. I really get it. My mom even left us too, once. First of all, it's definitely okay to be hurt, angry, upset whatever you need to call it. Anybody would be upset in your situation. What I can say works for me is listening to music, writing, exercising. Really, it can be anything that gets you to escape and take care of yourself in these tough times. At the end of the day, your mental health is so so important. I know it's easy for me to say that, but try to find something that you enjoy that can help you uplift your spirits in times like this. If you need to talk more about it. I'm here to listen, if you'd like.
YOU'RE FEELINGS OF BEING UPSET, ANGRY, SAD AND MAYBE EVEN BITTER ARE TOTALLY VALID!!
That situation sucks and you're mother is being terrible and unfair to you, your sister and your father.
I don't know what kind of advice I could give except to have an honest talk with your mom, maybe with your sister and dad with you as backup and support, but it sounds like you did that before and it didn't give you anything but a shitty label of having an "attitude problem".
IDK dude, maybe try again anyway because communication is important or maybe talk to your brother.
Why is he doing what he's doing? Is he having some kind of problem or does he need help with something? Does he even want to go to college? Does he have any goals? a job? Why does your mom want him to go to college so badly, especially if he's not putting forth any effort or getting bad scores? Why are his scores so low? Does he usually do badly or is he usually good?
Maybe tell your family how this is affecting you and that it's not fair and you shouldn't be punished for it, regardless if it'll get you more flack for having "an attitude problem" because this is clearly eating you up and it's not good to bottle everything.
Sorry this probably wasn't helpful.
I hope a better solution comes up and things get better for you!
or yeah do this!
Thank you for taking the time to actually leave a reply underneath my question T_T I didn't expect thorough answers to my situation, and a response at all actually does some wonders
To answer your questions, my brother hasn't put forth effort into his school work since he was in middle school, or 7th/8th grade for my town. Of course communication is one of the most important things in a family environment, so that we understand each other, but when it comes to school and things of that regard, I am usually called stupid by my brother. He thinks that just because he is older that he knows more, and doesn't really take my advice when I just want to help him. He doesn't really have goals, and that is a reason why my parents get upset at him.
My mother takes my brother into high regard, as if he is a great student, and only scolds him lightly when he gets grades from Cs to Fs in his report card. I don't know the reason why she is like that, but I wish I did know.
I don't have the best relationship with my parents, because of actions I wish I had not taken in the past, and now that I really think about it, my mom and I don't really talk as much as I would like to. (I do remember trying to tell her about my interests, boys, and stuff like that to get advice, but never straight answers come from her)
When my mom was talking to me in the car about my brother, she told me that my sister and I had to convince my brother to get better scores if we wanted our phones...I can say that because it is summer break for us I have used my phone more often, but the real reason why I have a phone is for communication during the school days, and now I might not have that.
My brother has taken the SATs maybe 3 times, with his highest score of about 1200 and lowest about 930...I don't know why but the scores gradually got lower and lower. He watches anime, listens to EDM music, plays games with his friends, and reads manga instead of really studying. I've noticed that he also will cheat to get good grades if given the chance...so I know he always does stuff the "easy way" in order to succeed instead of hard work and effort into school.
Once again thank you for replying to my question. I wrote it out of anger and sadness yesterday, and I didn't expect a response so dedicated to answering my question.
Thank you for answering my question. The suggestions are greatly appreciated! I actually love reading, writing, and listening to music in my free time. They actually help me kind of void my feelings when I'm down, and I'm glad that they are also ways for you to feel consoled as well. When I can, I will reach out to talk to you, and anyone else if they offered. I'm sorry that something like my experience has happened to you as well. I'm hoping things will get better for my situation, but only time will tell.
I greatly, really, and truly appreciate the time you took to read what I wrote, and answer what I asked. Sometimes I feel like in my life, lately at least, my friends haven't been there when I needed it, and there are just some things I keep too bottled inside to really say aloud to them. It means a lot, coming from someone who looks like they're really okay, and actually social, to the reality of being alone during tough times. If something does happen, I'll take up your offer to talk again. Really, thank you so much ā„ļ¹ā„
Of course honey, please feel free anytime. It's so tough to feel alone. It will get better. I know it may not seem like it, but it will. Just please keep doing whatever it is you can to take care of yourself.
Specifically, my older brother, I am the middle child of 3 kids in my family, is really a slacker. My parents are done with him, because recently, he did something that went to the extent of it being the last straw of strikes between grades, studying for SATs/ACTs and general behavior. My mom has always favored my brother, and it hasn't been fair to me and my younger sister, especially because in my circumstance, we know he won't make it into college...
I am also considered the "smart child" of the family, and work as hard as I can in school. My dad wants me to go to college and my mom doesn't really care, only about my brother, as she always does things to the lengths of even (almost) leaving my sister, dad and I a few years ago because of an incident between my parents and brother.
I want to be a good kid, but lately my mother's attitude of what happens to my sister and I isn't really fair, because we have to suffer because my brother doesn't do anything right lately, and I have lost it. At one point, maybe a week or so ago, my mom was talking to me in the car about my brother's lack of good scoring on the SATs/ACTs, and because of that my sister and I will not get our phones for the rest of the summer and school year, once it approaches in September.
Today, she told me that she has a plan, for her and my brother to go back to her home country, in Asia, using what little money she has here to get my brother into college there if he doesn't make it to college in America. It will go to the extent of leaving my sister, dad, and I once again, but seriously considering not coming back.
What should I do? Any tips on how to deal with this without getting seriously upset? (I have in the past, being labeled as one with an 'attitude problem' because of this...and I don't want that again.) Is it okay to be upset, angry, and even sad about it?