I know what it feels like. I've spent 2 years without finding a job and I was miserable. You don't want to see your boyfriend because you are feeling that you're a kind of trash actually. That's a really bad idea. Don't cancel your meetings and talk with him about what you're going through. Your life isn't the worst. It's just a difficult phase. As someone who had been there, don't shut yourself and keep seeing your friends and let your lover be your confident.
It's okay and I wish you best luck. (▰˘◡˘▰)
Live through it.. get back up. Pick yourself up.. it's something we all go through and it's honestly not healthy..
Try hard, just keep trying, even if you fail, it's better than doing nothing.
Also you should make sure that your current experience doesn't interfere with your relationship because um.. you might regret it later unless you don't actually like him.
This was my situation 5 years ago. I felt like every day was a routine. Woke up, read manga, watched ani, ate and slept..sometimes my friends would ask how i was doing and i told them my situation, i could see they pitied me aince they have been in big companies even overseas.well, it took me five years to finally have a career. We all have our timeas long as you are doing something about your situation,you'll get there,too.
I am looking for a job since january. Either they don't answer my mail, either they answer and reject my application or I fail the interview. I can't remember how many times is it. I am looking for a school to start my master but I can't seem to find a school to fit my interest and the application procedures are so complicated. I don't know how many motivation letters I wrote. This year is the worst. Whatever I try I keep failing. I spend all my days on internet, YouTube, reading manga. I can read manga till 5 am and then sleep and a new day start again. Because of all this anxiety I got acne, I loss my appetite. I keep losing weight with each month passing. Seriously I feel like trash. I feel like a fucking joke. I don't want to meet anyone. I keep cancelling meeting with my boyfriend. I am sorry if I am noisy. I am not the type to complain and I know that there are people who are living in a situation far worst than mine. I don't believe in little hurt or big hurt since everyone has its own level of tolerance. I just feel like I am wasting my own life but I can't bring myself to change my way of living...anyway thanks to those who stop by and read my post I hope yours lifes are better off than mine. Sorry if my English sucks I am still learning