Ha ha ha

This isn't BDSM. Even if they used either a safe word or the bottom's consent to not use a safe word, the dom was still rapey. Thanks.

Yeah I was getting major rape vibes from the dom

Sadly, you wouldn't know BDSM if it raped you in the ass. BDSM Isn't anything like 50 shades, there, hotrod. Safe words are universal. They are understood by all involved. Therefore, defining them is unnecessary. So, why waste frames in a manga to define them for vanilla children who like to make believe they understand BDSM because they read a manga or half-assed fan fiction here and there? Anyone who is involved in BDSM already knows this. It is only vanillas who don't. As for consent... you need to put the manga down and go play outside if you are worried about fictional characters giving consent in a hardcore, read:hentai, manga. You're a bit too emotionally involved in your fantasy world. It is the very LACK of explicit consent that is a turn on for the reader. All humans crave the forbidden. Even you, reading yaoi - likely behind someone's back, be it friends or family. The thrill is found in knowing you're doing something forbidden. Or, at the very least, frowned upon. You're really no different than anyone else, but you are desperate to feel special and somehow superior. Sorry, doll, you're not special or superior. You're human just like the rest of us.

I love you... I hate when people pretend to know about bdsm becausr they watched 50 shades of gray. Like that movie and book are teribble representation of bdsm way of life. And you are completely right. There is no need to waste panels on explaining how safe words work. And to explain how dom and sub function. Especially those that are long in relationship. They understand each other needs and limits.

Well said. I have been involved in BDSM for over 30 years. Other than a few terms changing here and there - when I started we called "scenes" "games" instead - not a lot has changed. Then again, sex itself hasn't changed in thousands of years. So, why would BDSM?

As for 50 Shades of Stupid... The absolute worst portrayal of the BDSM life I have ever encountered. But, what can you expect from a Twilight fanfic writer?!?! LMAO And anyone who takes fantasy and fiction as if it were a damn textbook, they deserve every shock they get when they encounter the real thing. Good or bad.

I don't think that all the persons interested in BDSM, search for the same, humans have all differents personnalities. For the base of the mouvment, I think it's about delegued your power to someone you trust. Push your limits, the one only you decided to push. It's not obligatory violent. Otherwise, I think the rape it's very present in the mangas sexuals. All Japan need therapy! :) For myself, I like the rape in certain stories but no so often.

You are correct that not everyone in BDSM is looking for the same thing... to some extent. BDSM, at its core, is about power. Some people want to take power away, some want to submit to another's power and some want to give up power. But BDSM is always about power in one way or another. Pain is simply one of hundreds of ways to gain, submit to or give away power. However, you can't safely take, submit to or give up power without one essential ingredient... TRUST. So, BDSM is about power and trust.

Rape is also based in power. Therefore, the pretense of rape is featured prominently in BDSM fantasy. However, the pretense of rape in BDSM is just that, a pretense. Because there is always trust and consent between BDSM participants. We don't just go around raping each other willy nilly or we would all either be in jail or, at the very least, never be able to find another partner to play with us.

Japan, though a technologically and economically advanced country, is very repressed socially and sexually. Even married couples rarely speak words of love to each other and it is considered the height of rude behaviour to even peck your spouse on the cheek in view of others... including your children. Because expressions of sexuality and affection are repressed so powerfully, it is only to be expected that fantasies of rape and ravishment are so popular. If you were unable to touch or kiss the person you love or be touched by them, wouldn't you start to fantasize about breaking free of your restraints and doing whatever your heart desired? In short... Yes, all of Japan needs therapy! LOL

When I was 15 I was raped. I almost committed suicide. When I was 17 I got involved in BDSM and it saved me. I learned to face my fear, embarrassment, shame and the feelings of powerlessness. BDSM was a godsend for me. I learned to trust again. Trust myself and trust others. You're right, BDSM is not just about pain and people get into it for many different reasons.

I am sorry that you have to go through that I must admit that I am still pretty much virgin but while doing some stuff I've noticed that I do have some tastes in BDSM lifestyle. I know that it is bold to say this since I am virgin (I am kinda used to people telling me I don't know what I like because I didn't have sex yet, since I'm bi I was asked couple of times how can I be sure that I like girls since I didn't engage in anything physical with them so yeah I am used to not being taken seriously) but I like to get to know my body so I am pretty sure in my tastes no matter what other says. Your posts made me even more sure that I do have interests for this kind of lifestyle. Because being in the relationship that is based on trust and power is something I know I need. So thank you!

Oh and sorry for being a bit open. I don't mind talking about sex, masturbation etc and some people get offended so I am sorry if I did upset

Sorry to intruded... I think you don't have to have a sexual relations to know what you desire. Perso, I always know that I like boys, in school, years before I have a first experience of sex. Your eyes follows them... How they look like? How it's the tone of there voice, when they lalf? How they smell? How you have the need to touch them, be close? How your eyes meet and make your heart beat realy fast? :)

Thanks for the explanation of BDSM.

About Japan, I know that you are right. It's a very restrain society. So it must affect what they fantases about! :) They created in majority, the mangas universe so sometimes it's a culturel choc. How the sempai yell constantly on there kouai: What is that, who idiot! You can't do anything right!... What?!

I have had a certain fetish since I was about 7 years old. Obviously, I had no idea what sex was, let alone, a fetish at that age. What I do remember was a sense of excitement and fascination mixed with a strong need to keep hidden how I felt whenever I encountered the object of my fetish. At age 9 I was cosplaying as my fetish. So, even if you are a virgin or a child, it is entirely possible to have developed fetishes. In fact, the man who introduced me to BDSM was a virgin when we met. He was 23 and had chosen to not have sex unless it was with someone who could share his interests. He was an incredible teacher and master. He was well aware of my previous rape and the sexual abuse I suffered as a small child. He was so incredibly gentle and understanding. By the time we had advanced to "rape fantasy scenes" I trusted him implicitly. That is how he and BDSM helped me work through my fears, humiliation and powerlessness. I knew I was safe with him no matter what. I was free to relive that experience in safety while I made emotional changes to how I viewed the whole experience. Imagine being "raped", but still feeling safe and in control of the situation. It is very powerful stuff. He and I ended our relationship long ago, but our friendship and trust has never changed. I would still trust him with my life to this day.

I'm happy that I could help light your path a little. I'm more than happy to answer any questions or discuss any topics with you if you need an ear to listen. BDSM isn't for everyone, but those of us who are involved find so much more than just sex in the scenes and games we play.

Are you kidding?! Me?! ROFLMAO Offending me can only be done if you are unnecessarily cruel to someone else. I will take umbrage for others, but rarely for myself. So, no worries.

Exactly right. And when something besides another person makes you feel that way... You have a fetish.

You got it. Their social values have a huge impact of what they fantasize about and it also effects how extreme it can be. The more repressed a person is, the more extreme their fantasies tend to be. In Japan, even their language, conversation and personal interactions are guided by a hierarchy of age, rank and status. You use different words when speaking to someone older, higher in seniority (working or attending school longer than you) or higher in social status (wealth, profession, education or political position). More casual words are used with those who are "beneath" you on the social ladder. Knowing that, it doesn't surprise me that the tone and even volume would also be different.

You know well the Japan culture. Have you work or study there?

Oh and yes, I'm so sorry for this horrible experience... It must be hard for you, at first, to trust someone, an adult... But I'm glad that the BDSM guide you to retrieve your lost power. You have a nice relationship with this person, she respect you.

I remember following a story, years ago, who was about BDSM. A fantaisy yaoi world name Ai no kusabi. It's about a Blondie (high class) Iason Minc (future master). And someone from the lowess class, Ricky the dark (future pet). I very munch like Ricky because he cherish his liberty more than anything. Be a pet assure him to be pleasure by his master, live in luxury (love come later). But he miss his friends, it's rough on his ego, honnor. When he came from, it's a hard world, the gang support each other in battles. He fell he betray there frienship. But he also wanted to quitt forever this enfernal city. He fell that he have less and less to share of experience with them. They can't not understand.

Iason, his a kind of android, look like a human, created by his mother, a informatic entity. With his 8 brothers, he rules the planet's affairs. They have pets who are all the same from high class. They can train them personnaly but not to have a complete sexual relation with them. The physical relations happen between pets who was choose by there master for a show.

For Iason, Ricky make him fell unstady like a human (anger, challenge, jalousy, affection, respect, love) and he don't like it at first. He will decided to not go on the show and to make love himself to his pet. They are very critizises by the others couples of pets and Blondies. Ricky has to restrain to the Iason appartment. He fell that he don't belong to there world and reflex on the possibility to go back...

My aunt was born in Hiroshima. She was in the next town for work when the atomic bomb was dropped. She is my idol, my inspiration , my teacher and my Japanese language conversation partner. We also have a large Japanese exchange student community at our college here. I tutor them in English and proofread their papers.