there´s no rule, people do it however they like, although it´s very much encouraged to discuss as much as possible prior to any actual scene to make sure explicit consent is given and people know what they get themselves into... what they sadly failed to do here with the camera-guy. You need explicit consent to take part in (or even just watch) any BDSM- scene. Just tossing the remote control into his lap without asking HIS consent first- is- harrassment. He´s finding himself in an uncomfortabe sexual situation he didn´t consent to and has no proper chance to discuss then or back out from- that´s how you should NOT do it in real life and we´re back at the non-con- problem of fiction again...
seems to be the case in US- clubs and BDSM- culture in the US... in other places they don´t really know as much about that rule and serve alcohol too (it depends on the people owning the club and making the rules), people are just encouraged to keep it to a minimum... obviously drunk or unsafe behaviour usually won´t be tolerated...
Can it be? A bdsm manga with consent and safewords? This is pretty good