(⁎ ￣﹃ ￣⁎)♡ yes 〜
that's what I was talking about!
Yumi didn't help Kan at all. He only offered himself like a sacrifice, didn't want to be pitied, went along with Kan mental mess. Kan couldn't find a way out and started to hate the carefree smile of Yumi, Yumi didn't question himself about it, like only think he was changing, or he was actually like that. He didn't have any faith in Kan, in his good heart. Please note I'm not blaming it in Yumi, more like...seeing the other side, because we all know violence is wrong and a violent partner has no right to be so.
All you say just sounds like " yes, he raped her, but she didn't fight back!"
It's disgusting.
Lol, I wonder, what you all would say if Yumi was a woman.
Ok, I agree that Kan is not a monster, but let's be honest - mangaka doesn't give a fuck about another victim's feelings. The same was in Escape Journey
Well aren't you so tough- remaining anon so you can't even get a notification of my reply. Congrats, you have officially pissed me off. First of all, we are talking about ABUSE. The fact that you are comparing my comment with rape culture is disgusting to me personally, as I have been sexually abused in the past. I am commenting on fictional characters with opinions on what the manga artist is trying to achieve, don't you dare make assumptions or drag my real life personal experiences and opinions into this review.
I also have my own negative opinions on Escape Journey and I am in the process of writing a review on it, but this is a completely different manga. Your anger seems to be more directed at the author; if you have a problem with their manga, feel free to write them a letter instead of projecting your anger onto me with assumptions.
I can't even argue with comments like yours, because you've already demonized me with your assumptions. I said I was leaving a review on his PSYCHOLOGY. At NO point did I say what he did wasn't wrong. Look at the review again, and see the multiple times where I said what Kan did was WRONG. All I did was explain WHY he may have been abusing Yumi, NOT that his abuse was justified.
I'm sorry for blowing up on you, but you shouldn't make personal attacks out of reviews.
I am majoring in Psychology, so my opinions are only what I have learned in classes mixed with observations.
BACK TO THE MANGA;
Yumi really loved Kan. The reason why he didn't fight back might have been over the fact that Yumi always pretends everything is fine. Even back in secondary school, Yumi pretended he was okay when he wasn't, and only his current boyfriend/fiance was ever able to see through his character. I think Yumi's character almost matches how abuse victims are in real life. The first time they are hit, of course they think their partner won't do it again. But then they do get hit again; over and over again. They grow a dependence for their abuser. Obviously, we all say, "If that were me, I would leave the first time they hit me!". But in most cases, people don't. Unfortunately, Yumi was also enabling Kan's behavior. He would constantly tell himself that he and Kan could go back to how they were before and that Kan would eventually become happy again. He also never stood up to Kan, or confront his behavior. But again, this doesn't justify Kan hitting Yumi, nor is it Yumi's fault. I also wonder if Yumi felt like he 'deserved' the abuse due to the situation with that old broken phone he was holding on to. AGAIN, this doesn't justify Yumi being abused.
Kan wasn't like traditional abusers. He hit Yumi, and then continued to treat him coldly. Where abusers usually hit their lover, make excuses for why they hit them/tell them it won't happen again, and then go through a period where they suck up to their lover until they abuse them again. I'm honestly not exactly sure what the manga artist was trying to achieve. I think that they wanted to genuinely show "two sides to every story". But I also feel like Yumi and Kans situation is pretty unique, because their situations are pretty specific. We are still in the process of getting Kan's side of the story in this particular manga. Hearing Kan's complete story doesn't justify the spousal abuse, but it helps us paint a better picture of what may have led to the abuse. Even in the previous manga's, it only showed us snippets of what Kan went through and then made the reader fill in the blanks. Same with Yumi's story. I think that by the end of this manga, we are going to get a better picture of what Yumi went through, as well as hearing more of his side of being abused. Because even in Sabita Yoru Demo Koi Wa Sasayaku, it focused more on Yumi's past rather than his thoughts and feelings of the present situation.
I agree to an extent. But I think we can both fully agree on the fact that they both really lacked communication and support for one another. Yumi couldn't really help Kan because Kan refused to let Yumi in on what was happening with him. Yumi also had a problem with pretending everything was ok, and not opening up with how he truly felt.
It's interesting how you say Yumi let himself be a sacrifice to Kan. Cause in a way, it seems like he did. He knew something was wrong, and knew Kan wouldn't open up about it, so he seemed to think that by letting Kan hurt him, it may help him turn back into who he was. At least to an extent.
I'm sure the manga will eventually clear up some things, so hopefully we can see if we were on the right track.
I hope that in the next few chapters, Kanchan is definitely going to open up to Shuuna about the fact that he was physically, as well as sexually, abused at his old work. And how relieving the abuse he received at work onto Yumi- who just accepted it and never fought back- was his only way with dealing with his suffering. Because he had already mentioned to Shuuna that one time when they were watching TV that he had been through a lot at the old company. The things he couldn't tell Yumi; I think he will definitely open up to Shuuna about it. And that's going to help Shuuna realize why Kanchan was so terrible to Yumi and scarred him. I read cherry_cherry's basic summary about what's going to happen in chapter 8, and how conflicted Shuuna is over the situation. So I hope that leads Kanchan to finally open up and grieve about the abuse he went through, as well as his regret over how he treated Yumi. Because I was absolutely devastated at how Kanchan actually went to seek out people to abuse him the way he did Yumi.
And when that happens, I'm going to sob like a baby.
I won't make any excuses for Kanchan, but here's a sort of psychological explanation of why he was so terrible; When people like Kanchan feel like they have no control over situations/their lives and feel trapped, they tend to do things, often time very negative, to feel like they have some control over their life. He had such heavy responsibilities to take care of his mom, put his sister through an expensive school, be in a serious relationship, and support himself. There was too much at risk to just up and quit his job, so he felt like he had to endure it with no objections. He felt completely helpless and vulnerable; even more so when he was being verbally, physically and sexually abused. So by abusing Yumi, it gave him complete control over the situation. The first time he had hit Yumi, Yumi came back to him. So it just slowly progressed until the point where Kanchan broke it off, because he realized the monster he was, but he couldn't stop. If Yumi ever fought back, I think things would have been very different. But because he abused Yumi with almost no complaint or struggle back from him, it took a toll on him mentally and the guilt stuck with him for years up until where we are now. He knows what he did was terrible and he still believes he doesn't even deserve forgiveness. Whether the readers feel he deserves it or not, he deserves to move forward and have happiness in his life. It is very unhealthy to go through your whole life with that constant guilt. He should feel guilty looking back on it, but he needs to move forward. That's why I also feel like it's very vital he meets with Yumi again. Yumi was able to move forward with such a happy and progressive relationship, yet Kanchan is still stuck in the past.