There also exist gay couples who are more comfortable with a role (top/bottom), my best friend prefers to top, but with his previous boyfriends he told them that if they wanted to reverse anytime he also could bottom, just not his preference. But i really agree with you that most gay relationships are not well portrayed in yaoi manga 'cause they're meant for female readers mostly.
I feel the same only like A FEW I have read like not even a lot in my 3yrs of yaoi life have read many that include couples like this. And most show the top as a tall and hot guy with the uke a small cute guy. Also not really how it goes irl. I'm just guessing cuz most women are smaller than men. But with that I have read a handful where the bottom is a muscled/hunky guy and the top is the same or skinny even. What's funny is when they show the bottom have "breast like pecks" and flushed. Idk just also my thoughts on how yaoi has changed and how in some ways lacking too, but I still truly enjoy them <(￣︶￣)>
Reversible couples FTW! I adore yaoi, but the idea that a neko is a neko forever and a tachi is a tachi forever always seemed too far fetched for me. I grew up surrounded by my brother, who is gay, and all of his friends and lovers. I get why the stories are written that way, but it stretches my suspension of disbelief to breaking. I mean, the main audience for yaoi is women and they need to relate to a character, so the uke is that character because it's not like they, the female audience, can ever top a guy - not without hardware. Now that times are changing and the reality of homosexual relationships are trickling into mainstream ears, we are finally seeing what sex is like between two gay men, rather than what a woman thinks sex is like between two gay men. In real life, gay couples act like Rio and Etsu. And I couldn't be happier to see this dynamic finally being portrayed in my beloved yaoi/BL. Bravo/brava to the mangaka for portraying it beautifully and so sweetly. Even if this is only shounen ai, the fact that the subject was broached, it lifts my heart.