Help please!!! Opinions needed!!!

Hello kisa chan read your one shot and it was a nice read, beautifully written and sexy I am confused about some things should I msg you about it?

It was really skilfully written. The only thing that bothered me was your constant jumping between present and past tense. It did not, however demerit the story in any form.The ending was good but personally I feel like it was missing something.
But over all a smooth and good read.:)

Awww thank you for reading it!!! It means a lot to me when people take time to read my work. And yep sure we can talk about it in private hahaha ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

Hahaha thank youuu!!! I will work on my 'verb issues' lolol. Actually, i am having a lil trouble when to use past and present tenses sooo yep. ╮(￣▽￣)╭ really I appreciate dat u read and criticize my work. It is helpful for me in improving my writing skills haha. Hmm would u mind telling me wat u think was missing?? I am curious hahaha.

You're welcome :)
It's actually quite common to lose track of what tense one was using especially when one moves back and forth past (or future) and present events.
Best of luck with your future works!
I was actually worried that I might've come off as rude but glad I didn't xp
As for the ending, it was an inner feeling that I wanted to know a little more on the black dressed person's background, reason or just some little detail catering to their importance as the second main character in the story. It felt like a random dude just coming out of nowhere and declaring their burning love. Maybe an insight of how they met the main chara or what is it that they deeply desire despite being turned down and so.....but maybe I'm thinking too much XD
Too much of a complicated character isn't a good thing either.
(Oh and I'm using "they/their" because I don't want to spoil it for those who plan to read the story)
Lovely read tho! (I could literally picture it lol...but that's just my perverted mind....but srsrly, the details were spot on)

Hahaha i get what u mean. I purposely did dat for da readers to be left with sumtin to think about. But i am curious on what your interpretation on who da is da person wearing da black dress. (Uhm it would be better if we talk about it in private lolol. Bc sum ppl might get spoiled if we continue talkin bout it here) (≧∀≦)

Hahaha i get what u mean. I purposely did dat for da readers to be left with sumtin to think about. But i am curious on what your interpretation on who da is da person wearing da black dress. (Uhm it would be better if we talk about it in private lolol. Bc sum ppl might get spoiled if we continue talkin bout it here) (≧∀≦)