Euhm. There isn't much to change besides my jealously when I was a middle-schooler. Long story short, I had my one and only friend; people call it your best friend, right? So anyways, she was the only one to be my partner-buddy in projects/assignments, the only person who I'm comfortable talking to on the phone and speaking truthfully about my problems, especially helping me on my weak subjects b/c she was really smart in all areas (science, math, etc.). To cut to the chase, she met this other girl who she befriended with. I was alright with it because more friends means more fun; However, I started to notice that my bff (cringe) started to hangout with her more than regularly. I would be the only person for her to choose me as her partner in other projects but no, she chose [her] instead. I would be the only person to hangout with her during lunch & recess but no, in fact, she would choose to have a lovely chat with [her] over me. I get that she's her friend and wants to get know more about her, but does she not notice that I exist too? Thus, my jealousy begun evaporating inside me. This caused negative aspects in our friendship:
- avoided her daily
- bottled up my problems and feelings in the corner
- never hung out with her like we used to
Meh. Yeah, I had to watch both of them laughing and smiling like two little shitheads in a bowl but ayyy I made some new friends. Although, I still didn't consider them as my companions -- more like.. newbie friends? (not necessarily acquaintances either). Nowadays, I could careless than how I was before. Friends leave you one day but you'll probably make another one the next day. That's why I personally call them temporary friends; nothing less, nothing more.
I said I was gonna cut it down short but this is the best I can do as a short summary. WHy the fuck did I write so long thoo?! No ones gonna read it but short answers lol
Personally there's nothing much I need to change however I do want to tone down my straight forwardness.
Back in high school I even got a few detentions for being too informal or rude to the teachers when in fact al I did was express my view.
From time to time I do wish I was strong enough or rich enough to help others out of terrible situations. But to be honest I like the current me much more than I did in the past...
So what would you change and why