On a serious on i do have to ask You this. Do you think people who like to read romanticise rape have turned off their brain and the really think rape is okay in real life. And they are rape apologist?
Alright, but please come back with more than two words and one sentence in your repertoire I'm begging you.
Mirroring or mimickry is a technique which psychoanalysts use to reflect unconscious behaviour patterns and core beliefs back to the person from whom they originated, mainly in order to draw awareness to these behaviours and core beliefs. Usually this is done in the context of a therapeutic relationship, but my only interest is in this free case study to use as an example for a discussion on narcissism spectrum personality disorders. So here are a few incomplete case notes:
The difficulty with using mirroring for someone who displays symptoms of narcissist spectrum personality disorder is that one of their favourite, initially satisfying, things to do is preen, not necessarily at their own mirrored reflection—which was, in this case, a fairly true, if toned down, reflection of self—but at the egotistical mirage created after the true self has been projected outward onto others. This sense of preening continues as long as the mirage holds, until finally, as the depth of personality fragmentation starts penetrating into awareness, initially with moments of discomfort, the emptiness and pattern of self-destruction becomes clear. True to type, it took the subject, what? About a dozen posts before he/she started to clue in? (Since this is a yaoi site, I will gender default to ‘she’, although gender is irrelevant) At least ten posts, anyway. In the meantime, the subject kept projecting personal fears and core beliefs about herself onto others in the form of sarcasm and insults, never realizing that she was actually revealing who she thought she really was. The most revealing moment was when, before this activity was confirmed, she said, “Am I so charismatic you decided to copy me ? You really are that boring, aren't you.”
So, what did the subject reveal? Well, she started off on the offensive against another commenter by asserting two fallacies, “you don't get used to it (fictional accounts of rape) unless you somehow decide that rape is okay in some cases, which you shouldn't, because it's wrong.” The fallacy being that something which has never happened in reality is, somehow, harmful and wrong. And “Reading yaoi doesn't mean you need to turn your brain off.” So she was sufficiently threatened by the commenter that she had to project moral failings onto them, even though this person had not declared support in any shape or form to rape in real life, only to an unreal, fictional account of it as a plot device. The tone of condescension and infantilization in the second fallacy, where she attacked the other commenter’s intelligence and capacity for thought, indicated that her core sense of self was not only shaken by fears of moral reprobation, but a lack of confidence in her own maturity, wisdom and intellect. These projections, especially those which revealed her secret fears of being thought stupid, repeated themselves throughout the whole kabuki, because it really is performance art.
But other revelations continued, transmigrating from one threatening commenter to another, and here they are:
“You sound hurt, maybe take a nap or something if this is too much for you.” Need to patronize in order to assert a projection of strength, maturity and capability where none exists.
“I don't need to look it (the word “hurt”) up girl, you're the perfect illustration for it, please keep it going.You just need to admit you're a rape apologist and let it go. You're clearly confused since you keep asking us things, I think you're not used to use your brain that much. It's why I recommended a nap, I'm only looking out for you.” Disavowal of hurt feelings for fear of being made to appear weak and vulnerable. Need to assert awareness of Third Wave Feminism so as to not appear uneducated and gauche, although the clear need to dominate the other commenter reveals the critical flaw in comprehension of Third Wave Feminist doctrine and applications. Return to themes of confusion, not using the brain, to reinforce projection of intelligence and thought for fear of showing weakness in those areas. Sarcastic pretense of concern and compassion in order to alleviate fears of being gauche.
At this point, I committed to using the dialogue and began the process of mirroring in order to reflect back the condescension, infantilization, and trolling behaviour:
“You're so unimpressed that you went through the trouble of inserting yourself into the conversation. Thank you, honestly. Now let me show you out.” Subject reacts to first experiment with reassertion of mirage self, along with attempt to dominate the dialogue with a show of nonexistent strength. Very determined to put a close to a conversation which might threaten mirage self.
“To be honest, you still taking time to reply makes me feel very confident in what I'm saying. I mean, surely you agree with me on some levels, it'd be too sad to imagine that you simply have nothing better to do. Also you sound a bit like a broken record babe. "Aw" "diddums" and "pet"...you know you're allowed to use other words, right ? Must suck to lack so much vocabulary.” Repeated use of phrase “to be honest” indicates propensity for self-deception. “Makes me feel confident” = insecurity. The statement, phrased sarcastically, about pitying me (the mirror) for having nothing better to do, reveals for the first time, shame, and reiterates the lack of self-worth and personal value. The concern over the infantilizing words in the reflection is her first indicated realization of how ugly and unpleasant they sound, although she isn’t aware, yet, of why those particular words or phrases are chosen … which is as a reflection of her own behaviour and word choice.
At this point, I diverted to respond to another commenter about the trolling behaviour.
“I have no idea what the fuck you're on about Sherlock. Unlike you I do have things to do with my life and have absolutely no interest in trolling people, anonymously or not. Holy shit, this is too funny, you actually believe you're smart and on to something.” First awareness “on part of subject that they are being treated investigatively, not at face value. Mocking, sarcasm, vulgar language choice, name-calling “Sherlock” in order to project image of having nothing to reveal, nothing to fear. “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.” “You actually believe you’re smart” = fear of not being smart.
“I see you still haven't learned to use other words, that's just sad now. I know you do have a lot of free time so maybe you should spend less time on here and open a dictionary ?” Fear of lack of facility with language, the root lying in an inability to express oneself and convey meaning clearly, accurately, coherently. Possible fear of having nothing worthy of communication. Discomfort as mirage-self is shaken.
“And here you are still talking to a simple-minded diddums even though you are so much above all this. Funny how that works.”
Sudden and very interesting moment. Still expressed defensively, though. Still threatened, shown by the commitment to and continuance of projection and mirage. She almost figured it out, though, so intimations of awareness may be breaking through. I alter the reflection somewhat to a more aggressive tone to see if the realization breaks through, and go after the sense of self-worth in the mirage, by using words about monetary worth, value, saving up…
“Your comebacks were never good but they have reached tragic levels of low now. Bring it back please, you're getting even more boring. Or you could just go play somewhere else, I'm sure there are more conversations you can hijack for attention.” Indications of pain. Pleading. Fear of not being interesting. Another rally of force and dominance in support of mirage by trying to push reflection out of the dialogue. Interesting accusation that indicates uncomfortable awareness of her own personal motivations: “Look at me” ie., “I am not this reflection.”
“I'm embarrassed on your behalf.” She has written this comment to a person who’s only involvement in the dialogue is to reflect her own behaviour and core beliefs back at her. So she is saying this … to herself.
I reveal a little more of my experiment by pointing out that the accusation of hijacking the conversation is exactly what she, herself, originally did.
Final comment:
“Am I so charismatic you decided to copy me ? You really are that boring, aren't you.”
Conclusions: Draw your own. I'm keeping mine for my field work file.
Mirroring or mimickry is a technique which psychoanalysts use to reflect unconscious behaviour patterns and core beliefs back to the person from whom they originated, mainly in order to draw awareness to these behaviours and core beliefs. Usually this is done in the context of a therapeutic relationship, but my only interest is in this free case study to use as an example for a discussion on narcissism spectrum personality disorders. So here are a few incomplete case notes:
The difficulty with using mirroring for someone who displays symptoms of narcissist spectrum personality disorder is that one of their favourite, initially satisfying, things to do is preen, not necessarily at their own mirrored reflection—which was, in this case, a fairly true, if toned down, reflection of self—but at the egotistical mirage created after the true self has been projected outward onto others. This sense of preening continues as long as the mirage holds, until finally, as the depth of personality fragmentation starts penetrating into awareness, initially with moments of discomfort, the emptiness and pattern of self-destruction becomes clear. True to type, it took the subject, what? About a dozen posts before he/she started to clue in? (Since this is a yaoi site, I will gender default to ‘she’, although gender is irrelevant) At least ten posts, anyway. In the meantime, the subject kept projecting personal fears and core beliefs about herself onto others in the form of sarcasm and insults, never realizing that she was actually revealing who she thought she really was. The most revealing moment was when, before this activity was confirmed, she said, “Am I so charismatic you decided to copy me ? You really are that boring, aren't you.”
So, what did the subject reveal? Well, she started off on the offensive against another commenter by asserting two fallacies, “you don't get used to it (fictional accounts of rape) unless you somehow decide that rape is okay in some cases, which you shouldn't, because it's wrong.” The fallacy being that something which has never happened in reality is, somehow, harmful and wrong. And “Reading yaoi doesn't mean you need to turn your brain off.” So she was sufficiently threatened by the commenter that she had to project moral failings onto them, even though this person had not declared support in any shape or form to rape in real life, only to an unreal, fictional account of it as a plot device. The tone of condescension and infantilization in the second fallacy, where she attacked the other commenter’s intelligence and capacity for thought, indicated that her core sense of self was not only shaken by fears of moral reprobation, but a lack of confidence in her own maturity, wisdom and intellect. These projections, especially those which revealed her secret fears of being thought stupid, repeated themselves throughout the whole kabuki, because it really is performance art.
But other revelations continued, transmigrating from one threatening commenter to another, and here they are:
“You sound hurt, maybe take a nap or something if this is too much for you.” Need to patronize in order to assert a projection of strength, maturity and capability where none exists.
“I don't need to look it (the word “hurt”) up girl, you're the perfect illustration for it, please keep it going.You just need to admit you're a rape apologist and let it go. You're clearly confused since you keep asking us things, I think you're not used to use your brain that much. It's why I recommended a nap, I'm only looking out for you.” Disavowal of hurt feelings for fear of being made to appear weak and vulnerable. Need to assert awareness of Third Wave Feminism so as to not appear uneducated and gauche, although the clear need to dominate the other commenter reveals the critical flaw in comprehension of Third Wave Feminist doctrine and applications. Return to themes of confusion, not using the brain, to reinforce projection of intelligence and thought for fear of showing weakness in those areas. Sarcastic pretense of concern and compassion in order to alleviate fears of being gauche.
At this point, I committed to using the dialogue and began the process of mirroring in order to reflect back the condescension, infantilization, and trolling behaviour:
“You're so unimpressed that you went through the trouble of inserting yourself into the conversation. Thank you, honestly. Now let me show you out.” Subject reacts to first experiment with reassertion of mirage self, along with attempt to dominate the dialogue with a show of nonexistent strength. Very determined to put a close to a conversation which might threaten mirage self.
“To be honest, you still taking time to reply makes me feel very confident in what I'm saying. I mean, surely you agree with me on some levels, it'd be too sad to imagine that you simply have nothing better to do. Also you sound a bit like a broken record babe. "Aw" "diddums" and "pet"...you know you're allowed to use other words, right ? Must suck to lack so much vocabulary.” Repeated use of phrase “to be honest” indicates propensity for self-deception. “Makes me feel confident” = insecurity. The statement, phrased sarcastically, about pitying me (the mirror) for having nothing better to do, reveals for the first time, shame, and reiterates the lack of self-worth and personal value. The concern over the infantilizing words in the reflection is her first indicated realization of how ugly and unpleasant they sound, although she isn’t aware, yet, of why those particular words or phrases are chosen … which is as a reflection of her own behaviour and word choice.
At this point, I diverted to respond to another commenter about the trolling behaviour.
“I have no idea what the fuck you're on about Sherlock. Unlike you I do have things to do with my life and have absolutely no interest in trolling people, anonymously or not. Holy shit, this is too funny, you actually believe you're smart and on to something.” First awareness “on part of subject that they are being treated investigatively, not at face value. Mocking, sarcasm, vulgar language choice, name-calling “Sherlock” in order to project image of having nothing to reveal, nothing to fear. “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.” “You actually believe you’re smart” = fear of not being smart.
“I see you still haven't learned to use other words, that's just sad now. I know you do have a lot of free time so maybe you should spend less time on here and open a dictionary ?” Fear of lack of facility with language, the root lying in an inability to express oneself and convey meaning clearly, accurately, coherently. Possible fear of having nothing worthy of communication. Discomfort as mirage-self is shaken.
“And here you are still talking to a simple-minded diddums even though you are so much above all this. Funny how that works.”
Sudden and very interesting moment. Still expressed defensively, though. Still threatened, shown by the commitment to and continuance of projection and mirage. She almost figured it out, though, so intimations of awareness may be breaking through. I alter the reflection somewhat to a more aggressive tone to see if the realization breaks through, and go after the sense of self-worth in the mirage, by using words about monetary worth, value, saving up…
“Your comebacks were never good but they have reached tragic levels of low now. Bring it back please, you're getting even more boring. Or you could just go play somewhere else, I'm sure there are more conversations you can hijack for attention.” Indications of pain. Pleading. Fear of not being interesting. Another rally of force and dominance in support of mirage by trying to push reflection out of the dialogue. Interesting accusation that indicates uncomfortable awareness of her own personal motivations: “Look at me” ie., “I am not this reflection.”
“I'm embarrassed on your behalf.” She has written this comment to a person who’s only involvement in the dialogue is to reflect her own behaviour and core beliefs back at her. So she is saying this … to herself.
I reveal a little more of my experiment by pointing out that the accusation of hijacking the conversation is exactly what she, herself, originally did.
Final comment.
“Am I so charismatic you decided to copy me ? You really are that boring, aren't you.”
I'm flattered to see you have so much interest in me. Bonus point for using more diverse words than usual. It's just too bad that the whole process is so pitiful... but what can I say,you seem very lonely so I'm glad I can help you find some comfort.
Thank you. It's free study group material. I love not having to pay for that sort of stuff. Of course, it's in very rough shape and the preliminary notes will need formalization and rephrasing in clinical diagnostic terminology, but it's not going to be put to very important use either.
And it isn't for your benefit. Good luck to you, though. You're what? 13? 15? Doesn't matter. Early adolescents often display signs of narcissism without actually being narcissists. I can use you either way.
Sure low budget Miss Marple.Gotta entertain your delusion the way you can, I can sympathise with your condition.
I'm sure you can ; -)
Yeah, after years spent on the internet, I'm used to dealing with self absorbed, lonely people. You're just like many, trying to make up for the failure you are in real life.I can't despise you for trying.
I read that you're lonely and self-absorbed. I read that your first reaction to threat of ego-exposure is self-loathing. I can understand that automatic reaction because you do a lot of projection and shielding. I won't even try to imagine what precipitated so much misery, anguish and rage, but it isn't my burden. It's all yours.
It's easier to perceive, of course, when it is spoken abuse, instead of written abuse, because then there is unrestricted access to vocal inflections and facial microexpressions. But you do a very good job of putting it
out there for everyone to read for themselves, even if you cannot acknowledge it as your own. That is the fatal error of narcissism. It first robs the afflicted individual of self-awareness, then destroys the means through which the afflictions can be healed.
That's why I wish you luck.
You really think I care about your ridiculous, weak psychoanalysis (that really is all "it's not me it's you", like seriously mate). I get it, you crave validation but you still have a lot to learn.Really. I wish you luck too, you'll need it.
Mm-hmm.
Good.
Already mentioned 2 or 3 times this wasn't for you.
I will add that it isn't even about you except in the sense of raw data. On that basis, thank you for continuing to engage. Will draw a note to the need for attention.
You're too kind but there's no need. Thank you for providing a great example of what loneliness and boredom can do to people.
Attachment to totemic 'trophies'. Regression to year 9? Parental attachment trauma.
*pets* Good girl, tell me more. Come on I'm supporting you, you need it.
Still exhibiting shame.
Okay, what else ? :)
.
So this guy rapes his best friend whenever he's drunk and none of you find nothing wrong with that?