Responses
from this comment alone i can tell u either write gorgeous, heartbreaking fics, or you need to start bc the world is missing out on ur potential
ilysm
AHHHHHHH THIS COMMENT KILLED ME! your actually so good at writing...soul wrenching piece of writing
Couldn't have said this any better. This is a very graphic and beautiful interpretation of this.
Then you showed up again… What was the point of all the pain, then? What sort of sick joke…”
seoin feels like the universe is laughing at him. all those years of grief, of forcing himself to move on, of suppressing his gentle side, of swallowing the bitterness because there was no other choice… only for yeongwoon to walk back into his life like nothing happened.
it’s not fair. it’s not fair that the wound he tried so hard to close is being ripped open again and the worst part is that he can’t even fully hate it.
because beneath the anger, there’s RELIEF. a traitorous relief that yeongwoon is still the same, that he’s here again, that maybe seoin won’t have to carry an emptiness anymore.
but that’s the problem. yeongwoon hasn’t given him answers and hasn’t done anything to make him believe it won’t just happen all over again.
so the relief twists into rage, because how dare he? how dare he disappear without a word, leave seoin to pick up the pieces and then come back entirely seamlessly, unchanged?
that’s probably why (in season 1) seoin loses it when yeongwoon brings up the past. it’s a reminder of what they were, what seoin thought (wanted) they’d always be, before yeongwoon left and took that dream with him.
it’s not just the memories that hurt, it’s the lack of answers, the assumptions and the betrayal of time itself.
seoin had to learn how to live without him, had to convince himself he didn’t need him and now all that pain and work, the long years of survival feel meaningless.
the wall he proudly built around his heart wasn’t strong enough, it came crashing down in an instant and that terrifies him. because if yeongwoon leaves again, seoin isn’t sure he’ll survive it a second time.
so he tries to tell himself he doesn’t care. that he wants to hurt yeongwoon. that he’ll be fine if he ends up alone again. but it’s a lie and he knows it. the truth is, he still cares too much, he loves too much even after 10 years and that’s the real torture.
because yeongwoon is his source of comfort, joy and happiness but also agony, misery and despair.
like he said, “one minute i’m in hell, the next in heaven”
seoin must heal from the resentment that consumes him and i wonder how it could happen