Let’s get this straight. He’s not a jerk. Those girls approached him with shallow intentions. He even mentioned how they lured him in by saying: “you don’t have to like me”. Then they got mad because he just blatantly didn’t. Sometimes going with someone you know goes against your ideal type just to try to mash them into your template of the perfect boyfriend/partner is wrong as well. You’ll find someone who will make you WILLINGLY want to open up/change or you’ll find someone who isn’t bothered by your personality. Those people do exist.
Wow what a way to avoid blame.
Yes the girls said "you don't have to like me" but just a little awareness of how people and relationships work would let you know that the girls meant "right now". Which means they were hoping that he would fall for them later on.
You write they "lured him in" as if those girls and guys did something bad to him. They didn't. They were looking for love and were hoping to build that with him but when that didn't work out, they left. He didn't care. In his perspective, they didn't even have a face or color to begin with.
The whole premise of a relationship is to spend your lives together, start a family, maybe make/adopt children and grow old together. Usually what you need to not get annoyed or oversaturated with something (which he is at risk of) is love. So if he is unable to fall in love or he clearly is not interested in that kind of long-term commitment, he should communicate that right from the start instead of wasting everyone's time.
Also the common variable in all his failed relationships was him, which should give a little clue as to who might be at fault here.
So to sum up: he is indeed a jerk. But he is not irredeemable or unworthy of love. He should just turn people down when he has absolutely no interest in them or tell them upfront about his love problems. If they agree to this loveless arrangement, then cool for both. If not, then some single time wouldn't have hurt the seme either.
All of that for me to disagree what a shame. Maybe they should also read the roo. If you’re asking someone out and the first thing you acknowledge is that they don’t feel the same as you. Why put yourself through that in the first place? Yes he could turn them down but they should have enough self esteem to realize”I should be in a relationship with someone who feels the same as me.” He isn’t a jerk.
And one of the girls literally ran up to him right after he broke up with another girl like come on YOU are the one lacking accountability. It is luring or pressuring in these two instances. ESPECIALLY the second chick. She was practically a stranger. Looking for love?!? From a stranger that’s weird
I never said he was a jerk, i said *I* was because that's what most people think of me so often that it kinda sticked with me
I was saying in turn that you weren’t a jerk as well. Just because everyone says it doesn’t necessarily make it true.
Then how do relationships form in your view?
I don't know where you're from but where I live, it is totally normal to go up to an attractive stranger and ask to get to know them. Yes, asking to date right off the bat would be considered a bit weird but nothing crazy. Honestly it would be a lot weirder to stalk someone before asking them out.
And where else are you supposed to look for love when not strangers? I mean I like some friends to lovers stories as well but irl I don't want my friends to confess to me. It would feel really weird to know they see me as a dating partner while I view them as a sibling :/
If you like who you are, then don't care about what they say. There will always be people who don't like you, just ignore them.
If you wanna be better, then ask them why they say you're a jerk and see if you can change that about yourself. ╮(￣▽￣)╭
I've been told I'm arrogant quite often, especially by people who don't know me well. It's kinda annoying when they misinterpret my words but it does help weed out people. And my close friends don't find me arrogant at all. So, in conclusion, don't listen to what some passing strangers are saying but do listen to the people you care about.
I'm kinda like him, I'm a jerk and that's not something to be proud of but it's something i can't help'_'.