I'm not sure if the writer put in planning for this story before they started it or just winged it throughout. It feels like the latter. It seemed like they wanted to try and tell 3-4 stories in one which frankly ruined the quality and pacing of the story. There hasn't been any real development of the two main characters in about 20 or so chapters. And there seems to be forgotten things and reworked things thrown in. Like for instance, who was blowing up the MLs phone before the redhead found him again and got his number from the MC? The artist seems really uncomfortable with human bodies now too. Seems they changed artists after the first few chapters and it was a rather serious downgrade. (No offense, you're better than a lot out there, keep practicing, you're on a good path). Too much use of 3D assets and not taking the few simple editing steps to make them less glaringly obvious. (Also why does the main couple have all the same toys as the side dude? Seems like the artist used up all their 3d assets early on and then just kept refusing them)
As far as story telling, the second couple couldn't be less important. They really didn't need to be in this story at all. The car accident would have been perfectly fine as it was early on. The brother could go through all of the same exact personal growth without the sudden murder mystery plot forcefully shoved in halfway through the story with characters who feel like afterthoughts, or are simply needed for convenience. The glove design for the redhead is just distracting. Who would actually wear something like that? Stop trying to make him look cool/sexy/important with weird outlandish clothing that serves literally no purpose. (This isn't really the genre for it)
Overall I think the story to could have really done better with proper planning and pacing, and a healthy dose of trimming. The bait and switch with the bdsm is nothing new, but is exhausting to experience again and again. I hope the second artist keeps up their practicing and gets human bodies feeling more real and organic instead of thick and blocky. They show promise.
It's not a bad story, it's just not all that good either. I agree with the criticisms others have written before me here as well.
I'm at chapter 55 so far
I'm not sure if the writer put in planning for this story before they started it or just winged it throughout. It feels like the latter. It seemed like they wanted to try and tell 3-4 stories in one which frankly ruined the quality and pacing of the story. There hasn't been any real development of the two main characters in about 20 or so chapters. And there seems to be forgotten things and reworked things thrown in.
Like for instance, who was blowing up the MLs phone before the redhead found him again and got his number from the MC?
The artist seems really uncomfortable with human bodies now too. Seems they changed artists after the first few chapters and it was a rather serious downgrade. (No offense, you're better than a lot out there, keep practicing, you're on a good path). Too much use of 3D assets and not taking the few simple editing steps to make them less glaringly obvious. (Also why does the main couple have all the same toys as the side dude? Seems like the artist used up all their 3d assets early on and then just kept refusing them)
As far as story telling, the second couple couldn't be less important. They really didn't need to be in this story at all.
The car accident would have been perfectly fine as it was early on. The brother could go through all of the same exact personal growth without the sudden murder mystery plot forcefully shoved in halfway through the story with characters who feel like afterthoughts, or are simply needed for convenience.
The glove design for the redhead is just distracting. Who would actually wear something like that? Stop trying to make him look cool/sexy/important with weird outlandish clothing that serves literally no purpose. (This isn't really the genre for it)
Overall I think the story to could have really done better with proper planning and pacing, and a healthy dose of trimming. The bait and switch with the bdsm is nothing new, but is exhausting to experience again and again. I hope the second artist keeps up their practicing and gets human bodies feeling more real and organic instead of thick and blocky. They show promise.
It's not a bad story, it's just not all that good either. I agree with the criticisms others have written before me here as well.