i'm of the opinion that no kid should be befriending an adult and vice versa. i get that you have the common interest (i.e. roblox) but there is an inherent power imbalance between the two of you. it's YOU who should set and make those boundaries clear. you can start to distance yourself gradually and try to explain to encourage them to make friends with kids his age, not adults.
Yeah you’re right, the blame does inherently fall on me as I am the adult and I should know better. My only issue is how do I distance myself without hurting the kid?
At this age, kids are quite literally very dumb. The most you can do is warn them, since you both don't even know each other irl. Talk to them with no filter, and try telling them the possibilities of them over sharing and depending on you. The more straight forward you are, the better they'll understand. If they still don't listen, then try ghosting them for a bit or being dry.
could u like make an excuse that you're gonna get too busy w work or uni so u wont be able to come online at all. like I don't think u HAVE to just straight up tell them making an excuse could work too IMO
Certainly at this era, children are easily influenced by their surroundings especially in video games.. it'll be hard to explain to them about the dangers and possibilities that they might encounter in the internet bc they're too young and naive to understand.. the best thing you'll need to do is by influencing and teaching them what might happen if they depend on a random stranger they met on the internet..
I've experienced something similar to this situation a few times in Roblox too..I've simply just slowly explain to them about boundaries and teach them about how over sharing about their lives in ppl in the internet is dangerous.. sometimes this kind of method doesn't work, I'd simply tell them that I'm giving them an advice and if they can't listen to it then it's their choice bc I'm only doing that for their own good..
I’m a tad confused by what you mean by talking with little filter. I do get the straight forward thing as you are right, I probably have to be straight forward when it comes to something like this
I could, in fact I was just recently admitted into a graduate program which will eat up some of my time. I’m just terrified that if they get close to the wrong person, what if they become attached to someone who ends up hurting them or worst?
I think the smartest thing to do is to stop being friends. clearly there are some boundaries being crossed, and I don't want to repeat anything everyone else has already said so I reccomend saying your busy with work- or another way would be to straight up explain your side and how your friendship is inappropriate given the age gap. make sure they understand you don't necessarily hate them or anything (to prevent a bad outcome, you don't have to but I think it depends on their mental state) and end it there
Just my advice, it's ultimately up to you!!
And that terrifies me. Like sure my generation had technology but the accessibility now is more dangerous then ever. I guess I feel like have a sense of duty? Responsibility? As an adult to try and teach them internet safety. Because of that though this child is unhealthily dependent on my opinion on them. I’ve already told them countless of times about sharing personal information and getting close to people can be dangerous but I feel like I’m getting nowhere
I mean you don't need to be nice and sugar-coat things, just straight up tell them the problem or else they'll never truly understand their fault
True.. Mostly of the time, they're are kinda stubborn when it comes to getting advices from older people like us. As much as you want to not hurt their feelings you kinda need to be straightforward to them. Being nice isn't a choice but sometimes you'll need to be a bit stern if they won't accept it through the nicest way possible. Honestly at this point it's like we're gentle parenting them.. It may take time but they'll surely learn more about the dangers of the internet themselves or any other way..
you've given your time to give them advices so you did the best thing.. do tell them that you've tried giving them awareness and if they can't accept it then.. they'll probably learn about it in the future.. there might be certain events that y'now something would happen to them and at that point hopefully your advices would pop up on their mind and they'll realize it.. it's hard to think they'll mostly likely take it the hard way instead of taking advices.. that's how life is honestly. They'll need to learn it the hard way to realize all of the advices you've given to them were right all along.
I know this is probably not the best place to ask and honestly Reddit might be a better area to ask this kind of advice but I have never used that app before so I’m using the forums here since I at least know how to use this.
Something to know about me before I delve into this is I am in my 20s. This will make sense to mention later on. So I’ve been playing on this Roblox game for a little bit and have been enjoying just chilling and making pretty outfits on it. One day someone came up to me and kind of sparked up a small conversation. Not one to shy from talk I responded. Somehow it lead to this person basically trauma dumping to me and also sharing the fact that they are only 12 years old. Keep in mind I am in my 20s and this child not only shared personal information to a stranger, but some random adult on a video game! I am now absolutely worried for this kid and kind of feel like I had a duty to try and make sure they learn about internet safety and to not be sharing personal information.
Fast forward to like a month and I’m still interacting with this kid because I guess me being nice and worried about this kid’s wellbeing made them want to hang out with me. At this point I’m noticing that this kid is becoming more and more attached to me as time goes on. They apparently told all their friends about me, have been basically glued by my side whenever we play this game, and even been calling me their best friend. Keep in mind, I am in my 20s and this child is 12, I am becoming rapidly concerned that they can get themself in a bad situation if they are trusting to any adult that is mildly nice to them. Recently though, this kid something rather insensitive to another person, the person got really heated and when they got defensive I tried to explain why what they did was wrong. This lead to the kid leaving and unfriending me on the game. Afterwards though, they started to message me rapidly apologizing and saying that they love me.
I’m now realising too late that this kid may have become so dependent on me and that the line of boundaries have been crossed. I have no idea what to do. While I would like to distance myself, I’m afraid of what they’ll do and how it may affect them. They’re a child and I don’t want to cause distress or harm to them, but I also understand that as an adult this interaction and relation that has been built is not healthy for them.
I’m just looking for any kind of unbiased advice or input currently, so any reply would be appreciated.