“ I WANTED ANNETTE TO UNDERSTAND, BUT I NEVER WANTED HER TO KNOW.” BTCHHH PLS?! How is...

That alone sums up his fears, traumas and complicated mind. He is well written imo

Exactly he knows that her knowing would hurt her and he loved her he didn't want her to suffer but at the same time he loves her he wanted her to know and be there for him and the absence of any interest from her part made him resentful he isn't a good person yes but that takes nothing of the traumatisme that was his whole life

When a man is dumb and ashamed of showing his wounds yet wants to understand there's pain, yk he has feelings too and it's mostly damaged and traumatized due to his past, poor annette it had to be her but you still see that he's sick yet tries not to hurt her anymore

Yess. Also i think he unconsciously wanted her to understand him only on a superficial level. He feared that if she knew exactly what happened to him she would think of him as weak and whatnot

I think it's also because he himself was disgusted by what happened to him, if he couldn't accepted it then how could she, and the truth is that Annette before meeting Katy wouldn't have been able to neither understand that what he and the others kids went through nor sympathise with them, this actions would need her to understand that her father wasn't a good person and all the wealth she was enjoying was built on the suffering of others, it demands a lot of self deconstruction to not only understand and come to peace with it

Yes she canonically could not. I remember the scene which they introduced him to her as “he survived months of torture and all his comrades died in the process” and she was like “good job ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~”. Yes it was wrong of him to idolise her without knowing her but it was also obvious that she had no regards to their lives at all. She lacked basic human decency then and her character development is very fulfilling

it's classic line used to describe angst :) feels kinda stupid but it kinda works ╮(￣▽￣)╭

Thank youuu, I have been reading and repeating to myself at the start this girl has no regard to others, but everyone on the comment was acting like she was such a myrtire for just being hated (again not saying she deserves the hate but from the start of the story we learn that people were starving and being mistreated under the nobles reign, later we learned that her dad drugged tortured killed a bunch of literal children, we clearly see way worse happening to the other), she doesn't start having basic empathy and consideration for the others human on earth until she herself experienced a great lost her baby who was the only innocent person she was ever linked to (I think the baby death held more importance than her parents, despite how shaken she was by their death it wasn't as life changing because they didn't represent what he did, a new and pure start)