I want to read this

ML did love MC a lot but he himself had a lot of issues leading him to be insecured and jealous. At his best, he's MC's savior. At his worst, their relationship turned into a really ugly and toxic one.
He did realize his mistakes and got better in the end. The process is painful though. If you have a weak heart and can't handle a lot of trigger warning, skip it for your own sake.

Thanks for the spoilers by the way, appreciate it. I saw your post and yeah it’s painful…ugh, and I thought missing love was the end of angst I’m reading for this year. I’m someone who detests cheating. Also your post says open relationship but then also cheating, which one? I guess it is open relationship, but it wouldn’t be cheating right?

Also can I DM you if I have any future questions??

They have an open relationship??

ML did cheat on MC, though it’s complicated. On several occasions - more than once - MC told ML something like, “You should get a new lover, and I’m fine with that.” He said it out of spite and anger, but when he found out ML actually had a lover in another city, he still said the same thing to ML, acting like it was fine. But after that, he completely broke down, realizing he loved ML so much and couldn’t accept it. Even though he was the one who said all those tough words, he couldn’t stand it when it actually happened.

At the same time, right after that, he learned a harsh truth from the boss (a plot twist for readers), which totally broke him. That part was just brutally sad and angsty.

(Then it comes to the part where ML and the boss met and reached to "an agreement".)

I don’t know how to answer all your questions because there are a lot :)) but I can say that MC loves both ML and the boss, just in different ways. He admires the boss because he’s his type—he’s into older guys—and he’s a talented superior who actually taught him a lot professionally. As for ML, he sees him as family, someone he can’t abandon no matter what.

Does MC cheat on ML with the boss? It’s hard to say, but I don’t think so because ML gave his consent to the sexual relationship between MC and the boss. Does MC still have lingering feelings even after he returns to ML? Yes, he does.

You can DM me if you want to know more. I can’t say I’ll be able to answer everything, but all I can say is that this is an unconventional story with complicated characters. Both ML and the boss saved MC at certain points, but neither could save him completely. Both hurt MC extensively at times, whether they were aware of it or not, but they also gave him what he needed at certain moments.

MC is weak physically but strong mentally. He can be stubborn but is a very interesting bottom. He’s quite similar to Geom—he doesn’t need any ML to “save” his life. In the end, he chose to stay by ML’s side because that’s where he felt the most comfortable and where he could open up the most.

I think reading it in one go would help you understand things better. You could wait until the translation is finished and start from the beginning. But if you’re looking for something cute and wholesome, or at least something that follows moral standards, avoid this one at all costs. It’s not a textbook offering moral lessons—just because MC tolerated ML’s cheating and abuse doesn’t mean the story encourages such behavior. It simply portrays a side of real life. It’s brutal, and it’ll leave you with a heartache. :)

Bruhhh, oh god I don’t feel as bad that MC slept with someone else then. They cancel it out lmao. Here are my questions:

1. When MC found out that ML had another lover in another city, does it say how long the ML was seeing that other lover for? And why the ML got another lover? Out of spite as well? ML didn’t cheat here either if MC told him it’s okay I guess, but still icky.

2. Are you able to spoil me what the harsh truth was? Because I’m not sure if I’m even going to read this completely. I’d just like to know at this point, I’m not a fan of these type of angst stories.

3. When you say MC still has lingering feelings even after returning to ML, do you mean he still has some feelings for the boss even after returning to ML? Or he’s referring to ML? And I agree, while I think it’s icky in my opinion, there is no cheating that MC did.

4. Damn. That hits! Two people is able to temporarily help and comfort MC, but no permanent solution or comfort, it comes and goes. What a sad situation…

5. As for Geom, while he didn’t want the ML by side (rightfully so too because he didn’t want Wooyeon in danger and to be bothered), but I feel like ML was the only one that gave him the love he deserves and comfort. The one that waited no matter what. As for the ML here, erm, my erm says it all haha…at least in Missing Love, the ML was a whole forest that Geom could breathe in. Here, reasonably, MC struggled with both guys who hurt and used him, especially the ML. This is the toxic kind of love.

6. I don’t really care about the moral standards too much, as long as there’s no romanticisation. And I don’t believe the author is romanticising anything toxic here, which I like. I hate the types of stories like the one in Secret Relationship, there’s no cheating or as toxic as this but I can’t stand the indecisiveness and dragged on tropes. Idk, I just don’t vibe with that.

—However here, as much as I hate cheating, now that you explained better. Both have been telling each other it’s fine to do this or that with others, so and out of spite too, both did whatever they told each other—so I dont feel too bad now about the “cheating”.

I mean I read Ten Years I Loved You the Most, so this cheating here doesn’t feel like cheating or that bad. In Ten Years I Loved You the Most, the ML actually cheated on purpose, MC never told him to or anything bad. I cried so hard with that, not sure if you read that, but you should.

Really, appreciate your detailed responses. It helped me understand more with your spoilers and explanation. I will probably read once I get through all of my other stories, and once this is done being translated.

I’ll still DM you while I’m reading, if I have questions. It’s okay if you can’t give a full answer!! Thanks a bunch again! :)

Honestly I thought the ML only cheated one time with that lady at the bar or club lounge, like chapter 36 or 38, somewhere in mid or late 30s range.

How many chapters till this is done? I’m going to let it marinate until translated 100%.

1. It just says "months," probably close to a year. ML did cheat once with an escort at a company party. The "lover" situation happened during his business trip (when they lived separately). I still consider it cheating, even if MC said it was fine for ML to find a new lover—he only said that in heated moments, so it shouldn't be taken literally. ML is hypersexual and uses sex to vent his work frustrations and insecurities. He’s also lonely, with no friends or any other close relationships. When MC was busy with work, ML felt ignored and cheated as a way to cope with his sexual drive and loneliness. He knew it was wrong and felt guilty (which is why he kept it secret), but he couldn’t stop himself. I'd say his cheating wasn’t emotional—more like just sex—but still cheating.

2. This is basically the whole company-related plot. The boss manipulated MC into thinking the short guy lost his job because of him, making MC believe he needed to work hard to repay the debt. Later, the short guy returned, and it turned out his dismissal had nothing to do with MC. The boss and the short guy had secretly agreed to fake his firing as a political move—when he returned, he'd be hired as a high-ranking employee instead of getting an internal promotion, which would face less pushback within the company. The boss deliberately misled MC to make him think he needed to struggle for the short guy's sake, but in reality, MC’s efforts were meaningless. This betrayal, along with his guilt over pushing his BF away to focus on work, broke him.

3. MC always had feelings for the boss, but it’s implied that his feelings for ML were stronger—or at least deeper and more complicated. They basically grew up together.

5. Missing Love was set in a chaotic crime world, so Geom needed a truly good person to keep him sane. But in this story, which is more grounded in reality, everyone is morally gray. Even the short guy, who was kind to MC, ended up lying to him—because at the end of the day, he had his own family and priorities to consider.

There are 60 main chapters and 4 side stories, so it looks like the story is wrapping up soon.

1. True but you told me that MC told ML again that it’s fine, so the lack of clear communication is astounding. It is definitely still be cheating but it doesn’t seem as bad as I thought of cheating at first until you explained. It’s not like ML wanted MC to actually be with the other guy either but he said it just to keep MC near. But even so, I still pity MC the most. Is there a reason ML is hyper sexual? Any childhood trauma linked to that or he’s just using sex as means of comfort? You saying he uses that to vent probably answered it.

ML’s cheating does feels worse because he hid the other time he cheated from MC, the one at club lounge with a escort. Meanwhile for MC, ML agreed on the three-way and MC didn’t hide it I believe, if I understood you.

2. I see, thank you for explaining well! Honestly I can see MC is self destructive and is just trying to find comfort no matter the betrayal from the one he liked, and the one he loves.

3. Did MC have feelings for the MC before shit went down with the ML in their relationship? Or during the abuse he went through from ML?

4. You’re right about the morally grey. This is why I feel, for me, it’s difficult for me to pick and choose and hate or forgive.

5. If it’s only 60 chapters and 4 side stories, that isn’t too bad. I can handle that much lol.

6. With the three way arrangement between MC, boss, and MC’s bf, it lasts from months or up to years? Interesting. That is quite a while but I get it, it’s not easy to stabilise or be able to rely on only the one that hurt you most (his own bf). Also, just to confirm, ML and MC weren’t really dating in this 3 way arrangement right? Since you said something about MC getting back with ML, I assumed he wasn’t with ML while with the boss too.

Man, I pity MC and ML the most, especially MC. I truly think they could’ve gone separate ways and found different life companions. That would’ve been the best ending in my opinion.

1. Ah yeah, the miscommunication in this story is insane. Sometimes I just wanted to scream, like, why don’t they just say what they’re actually thinking? Instead, they say one thing but mean something completely different.

Yes, ML’s cheating is definitely worse and the main reason their relationship falling apart. The whole three-way situation feels like a weird aftermath remedy, but somehow, it works in this case.

3. MC slowly fell for the boss during the separation with his BF (before all the betrayals were revealed). BF was on a business trip and didn’t come back (probably on purpose), and MC was also ignoring his calls and texts.

6. ML and MC never officially defined their relationship—no “let’s date” or “we’re partners” talk. They just lived together as a couple and called each other “family.” This could be some internalized homophobia, especially from MC, since both of them had trauma related to their sexuality and were abandoned by their families because of it. When the three-way arrangement started, ML was still working far away and would only return when he was free or when the boss contacted him—basically, when MC needed to be taken care of. When I said they got back together in the end, I meant they went back to their old peaceful days of living together. The story doesn’t really say if their work conditions improved, though.

While their relationship struggles mostly come from their own flaws (more on ML’s parts), external factors play a role too. The story feels like a social commentary on how discriminatory Korean society can be against “disadvantaged” individuals—LGBTQ+ people, those with medical or mental health issues, etc. Both ML and MC are victims of the capitalist chaebol system. They came from nothing, with no family or support, and had to survive in big corporations on their own. MC got lucky with a good boss and coworkers, but ML worked in terrible conditions, and his social awkwardness made him a target for bullying at work. Honestly, reading this made me wonder if holidays or weekends even exist in Korea because they’re always working. The fact that ML and MC barely saw each other due to work also added to their conflict.

In an ideal world, they should separate and go to therapy, but the story suggests that doing so would lead to stigma and lost job opportunities. They’re just regular people who can’t afford to lose their jobs, and financial struggles are a big theme throughout the story. In the end, they “fix” themselves—ML learns to control his impulsiveness, tones down his obsession with MC, and becomes more supportive of MC’s autonomy, while MC becomes more open about his feelings for ML. They stay together not because it’s the “right” thing to do, but because they simply can’t help it. The ending is hopeful, so we can only believe they’ll be okay.

Ah, once you explained about the internalised homophobia, it all makes sense. Honestly, the more I read your spoilers and explanation, I don’t think it’s as bad as I thought. I won’t cry over this cheating but there will definitely be an ache in my heart after finishing.

1. Could be cultural, many asians (not all of course, mainly traditional ones or even the traditional’ kids) suck at verbalising emotions and expressing themselves. I know my family argues a lot and they only apologise through actions. But I am still annoyed and tired of the miscommunication.

2. The three way isn’t as bad as I thought. Everyone basically agreed to it, it wasn’t really one sided agreement or hidden from the bf.

3. There is a lot of neglect coming from the ML’s side and toxicity as well in general. I can see why the MC fell for someone else gradually, it’s not like he made a move on the boss either, he just felt an attraction and probably comfort at the time when his own partner or family couldn’t.

4. Well I’m not sure, while I know some relationships can still be romantic, I feel like there has to be a label for us. But it may not be for all. So I guess they just found some sort of comfort in each other, never explicitly confessed to one another, and had sex? Now this is pretty realistic when it comes to the homophobia. Having internalised homophobia can cause rifts in the relationships, especially when hiding it and out of fear, things escalate, arguments, etc…seen it happen. It sucks. Not much the couple can do about it either, they only have each other in their perspectives probably.

—Kind of an opening ending? Did they ever define what their relationship is? I mean I guess they still called each other boyfriends?

5. Did they only get back together because the boss left, so MC only has ML again? If so, that’s fucked up . Because I can’t see how their living conditions would improve right away from getting together, and their relationship overall. I will read when it’s done, and tell you what I think.

6. Unfortunately the working conditions in a lot of Asian countries aren’t the best or one of the best either, especially Japan, Korea in general, china, Malaysia, etc. for South Korea, it depends on job though. There are students working pretty flexible (part time, unsure of hours but less than standard) at marts compared to their parents (50+ hours), but there are also students that struggle academically, working few part time jobs, while trying to support family from young age, especially the daughters. Not to mention the hierarchical culture that makes working worse, better hope to have a good and honest boss…

7. I’m assuming ML’s work conditions and his internalised homophobia greatly affected his behaviour towards MC.

8. Ideally they should separate, or even talking properly and thoroughly, listening to each other would help a lot. Clearing up any miscommunication is great too. Therapy sounds nice too but unfortunately they may come across therapists that may be judgmental, I had a Korean American therapist (few years of experience) once and when I told him my bisexuality, he said something like: “How did you find that out?” While giving me the most deadpan look. It may not be harsh but I felt judged as hell.

—Also the therapy costs if you don’t have medical insurance is insane, especially in America. I believe that in S.Korea, most mental health services aren’t covered at all…so that sucks. There are low cost clinics though but even that may be too much for some. So I can see the struggle of financial for MC and ML. And ML wanting to be the only provider for MC makes it worse.

I’d like to believe MC and ML are living happily but most likely not, hit me with the reality, they’re very codependent I feel…

Those are all of my questions! I appreciate you answering them despite the lengthy sentences lol.

The internalized homophobia comes from MC. He went through major trauma in the past, which heavily affected how he expresses his emotions. ML, on the other hand, is more expressive and clingy, but that eventually spiraled into obsession when he started feeling like MC might become independent and leave him. ML’s biggest flaw is that he believes he can handle everything on his own and wants to keep MC like a fragile glass doll. Part of this comes from the fact that MC’s health is weak—he had surgery right before they started working—but another part stems from ML’s own insecurities. He failed at work, has no one else in his life, so he tried to tie MC’s life to his. He's also impulsive, lack of self-control which led to abusive behaviors.

His turning point was when the boss confronted his abusive behaviors and told him that MC considered him family—a word that, for MC, carries a deep sense of responsibility, meaning he wouldn’t abandon ML. That realization helped ease ML’s insecurities, as he finally understood MC’s love for him, even though MC never explicitly said it. After that, he learned his lesson and became more supportive of MC’s independence. While the boss was ML’s love rival, he sometimes acted more like a mentor to both MC and ML, which makes sense since these two are like lost kids who never had an adult figure to guide them.

"Did they only get back together because the boss left, so MC had no one else?"
I don’t think so. Even when the boss was around, MC was still longing for ML—he just couldn’t forgive him right away I guess. After his collapse, MC has this long monologue where he reflects on his emotions for ML—how he loved him, hated him, appreciated him, and pitied him. It’s a mix of complex emotions, so I think he just needed time to process everything.

The side stories take place several years later (5-7 years?), and they’re still living together. They seem more mature compared to their past selves. I agree that the ending feels weak in the sense that the author tells us they’re okay and have changed, but doesn’t really show how they got there—so it feels kinda wishful and not so convincing.