I'm sorry guys but i don't get why we're giving Ash shit for not telling Lyle about his FO...

Ash being already moved on from Hazel is the exact reason Ash should have told Lyle before he met his friends. This is the 2nd serious partner they've met and when the math adds up, all signs point to one of them bringing that up in front of Lyle. Who wants to hear all of that from someone else's mouth? Ash organized this whole meet my friends thing so it's something he should have done so he doesn't get stuck with this whole, "It will upset Lyle if I tell him about Hazel so let's promise to never say the name of they-who-shall-not-be-named." It's just a bit childish and it costs nothing to have an honest conversation. Like if you love Lyle so much and have no thoughts whatsoever about Hazel, then why would Lyle have something to be that "upset" about? “Yeah, I had a ex named Hazel who I was bonded to in the past, but — happened and we broke up. I just wanted to tell you because I’ve moved on and met you and you’re the only one for me babe. Anyways let’s kith—” is literally all it’s takes. Past relationships is usually important for people who date to talk about I don't get the confusion.

But Ash doesn't seem emotionally unaffected by it? I mean that since the relationship is in the past and doesn't have an effect on anything currently it isn't mandatory for Ash to speak on. Ash says that the relationship ended badly, it was when he was young and impressionable, and to top it off it must've meant a lot since he was bonded and married. I'm trying to say that it's a heavy topic for ash personally but that doesn't mean it affects his current relationship and as such he doesn't owe Lyle the story of it. It's reasonable for Ash not to warn Lyle, since he didn't know. Bro warned Lyle prior to the event that he has 2 friends that like to run their mouth, but how would he guess that his friends would bring up his relationship from years ago and that also ended badly at an event to introduce them to his new lover?! It's common sense to expect your friends not to bring up such a sour subject. Bros friends are villians tbh.

But Ash doesn't seem emotionally unaffected by it? I mean that since the relationship is in the past and doesn't have an effect on anything currently it isn't mandatory for Ash to speak on. Ash says that the relationship ended badly, it was when he was young and impressionable, and to top it off it must've meant a lot since he was bonded and married. I'm trying to say that it's a heavy topic for ash personally but that doesn't mean it affects his current relationship and as such he doesn't owe Lyle the story of it. It's reasonable for Ash not to warn Lyle, since he didn't know. Bro warned Lyle prior to the event that he has 2 friends that like to run their mouth, but how would he guess that his friends would bring up his relationship from years ago and that also ended badly at an event to introduce them to his new lover?! It's common sense to expect your friends not to bring up such a sour subject. Bros friends are fiends tbh.

Idk I feel like if Ash feels either way, that he still feels affected by the topic of his ex Hazel or if he has completely put that behind him, it's important for people to talk to each other. They didn't just meet, they've been together for a while and even spent 1/3 months apart before getting back together so I feel by now since they also planning on living together, that is something Ash should have told Lyle before having him meet his friends. Period. If he still feels affected, then it's important to communicate that so your partner knows where you are in life, they are committing themselves to you, so the respectful thing to do is be real with them and say "hey my ex is a sore spot for me because we almost got married." And IF Ash was divorced that's also a huge piece of information that honestly needs to be told to your partner in I would say at least a month. If someone had been previously married, didn't share that for half a year because they felt like it was in the past, I would call bs. Yeah the past is the past, but it isn't just your life when you date someone, that's their life too, if you want to be in a relationship, you need to be willing to share things that your partner may want to know at some point. Like imagine if Ash WAS married to Hazel in the past and Lyle had to overhear it from Ash's friends gossiping after they started living together, that would be mortifying. Like we've been dating for how many months and you never told me you had been married before?? what??? Ash only dated Hazel, but clearly it was serious if Hazel was the only other person Ash introduced them too and everyone thought they would get married because they were bonded. The reason I say Ash should have known his friends would bring it up is because he's only every introduced them to 2 people, Hazel then Lyle.

If the other case is true, that Ash has completely moved on, like I said in the first part, that still means he should have said something prior because why would it "upset" Lyle if you are completely moved on? Me personally? I would like to know if the person I was dating had a very serious relationship from their mouth instead of from their friends. It doesn't matter if it's in the past and I'm not saying it has to be on the first date, but you want to let your partner know where you stand in life, beliefs, values, and relationships so they can decide to still be with you or not. It's just upsetting because Lyle loves Ash and whether Ash is still affected by Hazel or not, he wouldn't have to deal with this if Ash had just talked to him beforehand. The part that also pissed me off was the whole: "you know Hazel-""ANYWAYS lets change the conversation." Everyone at that table heard you say Hazel. Lyle immediately clocked that without overhearing Ash talking. It's embarrassing and childish. Are we not adults? Lyle is a grown ass man I think he can handle it and if Ash thinks he can't, that's belittling. Ash fully acknowledging that everyone (Lyle included) heard the "Hazel" and how his sister so painfully obviously tried to change the subject yet still not talking to Lyle is childish. Like everyone saw you babes what is going onnnn.

I think that where we disagree is on the importance, i truly think that my partner or my own past has nothing to do with my current partner UNLESS its something that could affect our relationship, like for example if i ever cheated on someone. The amount or seriousness of my prior relationships has nothing to do with my current partner. That's my view on it. And i really think that if i was in Ash's shoes, i wouldn't think my friends would speak about my former love because its common sense to not do that, they're grown adults and they definitely should be capable of differentiating between what topics are OK to bring up. Ash steering the conversation away from the topic of hazel makes sense because it's his story to choose to tell or not. These two haven't even been together for longer than 6 months officially and they are both starting to open up. I don't give my partner an overview over all my former relationships.