Ch 45 analysis

This really is logic vs emotion in play here, I feel sick. Do I understand both sides? Yeah, but does it hurt me so much, also yeah.

At this point I feel like we should all agree that Brett is, even subconsciously, whipped for Hayden. Everything he’s done, from the court case to his own assault is to give back Hayden’s own sacrifice. But brett does not understand his own value, it’s almost self sacrificial in a way. He thinks that by all things necessary, if he delivers what he thinks is retribution in its most ultimate form, that it’s enough to appease. We see it with him trying to do it to his brother and we see it with Hayden as well. It’s his way of showing his love, but he truly can’t comprehend how others can’t accept it. He’s always thinking ahead.

When it comes to Hayden, it almost gets swapped around. He cares not for retribution nor the future but the present. He wants to give Brett himself, not any gift, but his heart.

Brett cannot understand Hayden’s gift, he cannot accept it the way Hayden can’t accept his, that’s why he gets so confused and uneasy when Hayden hugs him. Brett’s rejection of Hayden turns him to his natural state, a truly emotional being. And with Hayden’s refusal of Brett, he also goes back to his natural state of being, logical.

With these two extremes, it’s no wonder why they ended up the way they did. They couldn’t accept each other in the end, their gift. Fuck me bro like actually