hm read up to ch 141 of the novel

Despite everyone calling the MC a pushover and weak, I really like him. Maybe I just like to suffer and self-inflicted angst ¯_(ツ)_/¯ We get to know his backstory and it's all fits together. Poor guy has suffered all his life so of course he's emotionally stunted, eager to please, and simple minded. The writer did a wonderful job writing him but man I can't say the same for ML. We don't know his past nor any family/friends (besides the guild members). He's kinda this rich kid who never cared about anyone before and now he that does he can't let go. He's obsessed. It takes MC to really prove his worth as a guide when they did the deep guiding for ML to change his mind. MC was expendable until ML couldn't imagine a life without him. We are getting to this point in season 2.

But what I really want to talk about is MC's backstory. He's a freaking survivor and damn the writer really wanted him to suffer. He lost his parents at a young age and grew up at a monastery until he was 14-15. Then, he was recruited (more like exploited) by a guild and thrust into guiding injured espers from the SS-Class dungeon. The guild leader died and his brother blamed it on MC for not guiding properly. To attone for it, MC was forced to bond with the guild leader's brother. MC didn't have anyone to rely on besides this abusive piece of shit. MC was isolated and alone. His only worth was his guiding ability. He has a lot of unprocessed beliefs and trauma that inhibit his growth as a person. So when comments say he's weak and a pushover, it's true but it's also only one part of him. Jin Hyoseop is doing everything he can to be loved and belong somewhere even at the expense of his own health.

Anyways, we are in the progress of a chasing/groveling act. ML completes the SS dungeon, saves his ex-guide, and gives him proper rest. The internet goes crazy over the potential heartbreaking love story between them. MC reads all the rumors and his resolve weakens. He was totally left in the dark about everything. There was no contact from ML even after completing the dungeon. The final nail on the coffin was the announcement of a new guide joining Onaip. MC clung onto the small hope that he wasn't replaceable, but this broke him. He's pride and worth as a guide are shattered. ML never loved him. His only job was taken from him. There's no reason to stay anymore. When they finally meet again, they hug and poor MC is crying his eyes out. He musters up the courage to ask ML to spend the night together . . . one last time. After an eventful night together, MC wakes up alone in ML's house. ML had urgent business in the US. MC cleans himself up and carefully removes all traces of himself in ML's house. He goes home and leaves his resignation letter and phone on the table. He's leaving.

ML goes crazy looking for MC. He knew MC was acting odd but brushed it off because ML is blinded by love. MC was hiding in a remote town but got tracked down by a phone call to that Shin guy. ML is absolutely livid. He doesn't understand why MC left and cut off contact. ML says all the wrong things and this triggers MC's obsession alert. This is obsession and MC knows what being on the receiving end of obsession looks like . . . being confined and at the mercy of your oppressor. ML forces a kiss on MC. MC tries to push him back to no avail. So, he bites ML's tongue and a protective shield covers him. This shield only activated when the holder truly thinks they are in danger. ML gave him that item and to think the danger would be him. Ridiculous. MC looks absolutely frightened of him. ML tries to calm down and apologizes. But before any meaningful conversation happens, a gate appears. A mutated gate that grabs its surroundings. ML protects MC from getting dragged into the gate and enters it to clear it
When he gets back, MC is no where to be seen. He goes back into the gate and finds MC's bag. He's convinced MC had disappeared into a connected sub-dungeon. Onaip becomes the no. 1 guild after clearing over 100 dungeons in two weeks.

Turns out, MC used a teleportation scroll and landed in Argentina. He's safe. That's where I ended off! I omitted a bunch of details because I think it's nice surprise. I definitely mixed about MC leaving like yes get away from that manipulator who's only good trait is his good looks but man he does actually love you (in his own way). Part of me loves the dramatic leaving without notice but the other part just wants a honest conversation. I want them to feel safe enough with each other to share their feelings and be vulnerable. So much of the plot and build up is based on them not communicating, it sucks. A simple heads up on what the guild is doing and when they would be back would do wonders! Doesn't have to be detailed but just receiving a message means you are being thought of and you matter. MC being totally left in the dark was to protect him but it hurt him more than anything. His insecurities and doubts kept growing without intervention. Some people wonder why MC fell for ML, well, I think it's simple. He wants to be special and important. No one else can guide ML except for MC. It's easy to take pride in that and hope for something more. Honestly, I probably won't continue the novel. I read the spoilers, and it doesn't sound satisfying enough for me. Toodaloo~ thanks for reading my essay ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~