I hate the ex gf in the past. I hate this whole “I did xyz and I expect xyz in return!” Mentality. It really detracts from the actual kindness of doing these things. Also he’s right. He actually never asked. As flawed as he was and as self centred as he was back then, when someone tells you they are scared or uncomfortable, you should listen to them. You shouldn’t judge them for it. If she wants to know what he is like as a person, she should have held a safe space for him to explore who he is with her and then not judge him for it. Uyun does that for him. Uyun loves him exactly as he is. He has no preconceptions of who his bf should be. He has no expectations for his partner at all. He has standards and holds his bf to those standards but that’s it. That’s a healthy relationship. She was not healthy and hasn’t changed at all. She still thinks it’s all about her. It’s not. You wanna date a younger traumatised BOY and then question why he’s emotionally immature??? That’s on you bitch. That’s not how this works. As for love, he probably started out loving you until you became what his father was. Normalise supporting people by asking what they want and need and only doing that much. Normalise supporting people by prioritising efforts and not the result (especially academics). Normalise supporting people by holding no expectations and only having personal standards. Expectations are shackles to control a person. Standards are like a cover fee to enter a building.
I hate the ex gf in the past. I hate this whole “I did xyz and I expect xyz in return!” Mentality. It really detracts from the actual kindness of doing these things. Also he’s right. He actually never asked. As flawed as he was and as self centred as he was back then, when someone tells you they are scared or uncomfortable, you should listen to them. You shouldn’t judge them for it. If she wants to know what he is like as a person, she should have held a safe space for him to explore who he is with her and then not judge him for it. Uyun does that for him. Uyun loves him exactly as he is. He has no preconceptions of who his bf should be. He has no expectations for his partner at all. He has standards and holds his bf to those standards but that’s it. That’s a healthy relationship. She was not healthy and hasn’t changed at all. She still thinks it’s all about her. It’s not. You wanna date a younger traumatised BOY and then question why he’s emotionally immature??? That’s on you bitch. That’s not how this works. As for love, he probably started out loving you until you became what his father was. Normalise supporting people by asking what they want and need and only doing that much. Normalise supporting people by prioritising efforts and not the result (especially academics). Normalise supporting people by holding no expectations and only having personal standards. Expectations are shackles to control a person. Standards are like a cover fee to enter a building.