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Hello lovelies, how have you been? Once again this may be a long read so do buckle up if needed. I first do want to share some positive news my grades are finally out and I have passed all my exams!!! I'm still not out of the woods yet as my gpa is beyond trash but I'll be working even harder this semester hopefully.
Oki so anyways I am unsure of what I've spoken of last time as I only recall bits and pieces but I do recall the 1 week break so that's where I'll start off.
I have ended the one break thingy on the second day literally I just felt bad for him waiting for a week being hopeful that we might reconcile while my answer will never change. I no longer want him in my life he has caused me nothing but pain and agony. He didn't take to that well at all he was in a sporadic rollercoaster of emotions of crying begging for a second chance blaming me for the break up trying to guilt trip me to stay with him trying to manipulate me to stay with him not taking no for an answer not believing me when saying that I want to breakup for good kept on undermining my words and saying that I didn't mean them and other bunch of bullshit. Calling me a lowlife cus I left him when "he needed me the most" and that I could've waited until he got better then leave him. He then offered me solutions to the issues I had with him and it just made me realize if he actually cared he would have done them without the threat of the breakup it just proved to me more that he might have never actually liked me even a littlest bit.he also have said multiple times that he is doing me a favour by giving me a second chance to revoke my breakup request and go beg for us to be back together.
Though I do not want to get into the nitty gritty details cus this will be so much longer and filled with thousands of lines of lore. I do believe that he was with me (dating me) just to prove something to himself or a specific group of people.
He has this ideology that he wants to feed into to feel some sense of accomplishment that he has gotten me to my knees and am subservient to his every whim and need.
I whole heartedly do believe that especially after how everything went down the past week.
He has finally gotten the memo that we are broken up but still his manipulative tactics of " you never cared about me" " you've never loved me" " what did I ever do to you?" Haven't stopped. He is still constantly crying and begging for other chances and just ruining his facade by saying the most absolute diabolical shit you can ever think of in the very next second.
I do want to give thanks to this app and those who engaged with my short story. It truly has helped me ,just typing things out, put alot of things into perspective. And I have a therapist appointment soon where I'll be sharing even more with her.
My up most priority now will be my self and my education and I will never ever be willing to sacrifice anything for a man who has only seen me as a tool of desire.
I cannot say I'm not heartbroken and that my eyes aren't swollen nor that I haven't cried and ocean of tears but I do not regret my decision.
No matter how much he tried to force me to regret trying to guilt trip or manipulate me to return to him again I feel lighter and more free without him weighing on the back of my mind like a little imp straddling my shoulders.
Thank you guys I wish you all the best of the best just as much as you have wished and supported me and even more.
I hope you are always happy and to never experience debilitating heartache. I wish you health and wealth and that all your dreams come true.
Thank you all once again and you truly have a special place in my heart.