long ass rant below, loved this so much

WOW.

i’m going to refer to pre-skar (all of the events before sasya met lord skar) and post-skar (after sasya met lord skar) in my review.

i had mixed feelings toward sasya pre-skar. coming from a world of nothing, having to fight to survive, i understand him not trusting karel blindly from the get-go and his apprehension. i feel for him, i get it. what i don’t understand is why he could be so indifferent toward karel sometimes despite them being in love and moving in together after karel caught up with sasya sitting at the bench outside the train station. i do think the events that transpired during the time they lived together was because of sasya’s disorder - besides mania (which was said in the later chapters), i do believe sasya had bipolar depression, taking into account his mood swings, inability to sleep, alcoholism, not being able to get out of bed etc. which, paired together with his rough background, let to him being so deeply dependent on karel and adding to his fear of being abandoned.

i understand that sasya was clearly mentally unstable, but it also frustrated me and hurt to see how he pushed away karel. i know i KNOW he wasn’t in a good mental capacity so i shouldn’t be complaining, but it was rough to witness how reciprocal love was coming off as one-sided with karel being hopelessly in love, and sasya made to seem as if he was being forced into it.

karel taking the hit for sasya’s crime, being locked up and forced to serve in the army, holy shit man. but the last thing i expected was sasya to leave karel while the poor guy was suffering with the only thing keeping him going was sasya’s love. that HURT. i really couldnt stand sasya at that point - like i didnt hate him or anything, but goodness me.

post-skar was low-key marvellous. karel still being in love with sasya, but behaving indifferently - giving him the cold shoulder, forcing sasya to feel what he’d felt for years. it was satisfying to see. and karel being a completely scarred up daddy OOOOH LAWD I LOVE ME A SCARRED MAN. HOWEVER, as nice as it was to see karel push back, he pushed back TOO MUCH. yes, sasya was terrible to him in the past every now and then, but that didn’t mean he could use gudin to sexually assault sasya. i haven’t seen anyone else mention this and it’s pissing me off. no because karel got jealous over lies gudin made, blindfolded sasya and almost let gudin almost have his way with sasya - ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT?? i also dislike how he locked sasya up, literally, and then not too long after that, he goes on to say he’s getting married and “bye bye sasya, you needa get a move on with your life” OH THAT HURT. like i see you karel, not only are you doing it for your plan, but you’re also low-key getting revenge for those years sasya hurt you, BUT YOURE ALSO HURTING ME SCAR DADDY. oh and also the piercing, NO NUMBING CREAM, NO WARNING, BRO JUST SHOVED THAT THANG INTO HIS EAR AND HIS NIPPLE I WAS CRINGING AWAY FROM MY SCREEN AND CLUTCHING MY PEARLS I WAS MORTIFIED

anyways, i liked how things wrapped up. low-key, i STILL don’t even understand how karel serving for austria ended up with him being a double agent, and sasya being taken into custody like yes, i grasped everything but idk if it’s just me but like it’s so unclear to me how exactly karel got to that point. i know he was in the army (or whatever the fuck it was), got promoted twenty trillion times, got captured and tortured and was made to choose a new life where he served as a double agent. i just don’t understand exactly why he was so immensely important, yk. and like, lord skar quite literally appeared out of thin air, how come no one questioned him and his nonexistent past further like? idk man, but all that matters is that they got their happy ending.

i do think their story was tragically beautiful, and i hope that the spin-off gets illustrated into side stories, where it’s just pure fluff and happiness with sasya and karel - just domesticity and pureness, and everything they’d wanted for in the past but couldnt have. oh, and them being daddies to cutie pie charles URGHHHH, and have a scene where sasya tells karel why charles is named charles. like ik there was a scene where karel low-key caught onto it, but i’d love to see full-blown confession from sasya, that would be amazing

also, i fucking hate that rat ass bitch miss ramwhateverthefuck. and no, I DONT CARE if anyone has to say she was manipulated by karel, forced into the marriage that NAUR FUCK THAT HOE. i didnt like her at the beginning when she was following karel around like some hopeless puppy and hating on sasya for no reason, bitch you were forced to marry that nasty ass duke/count/whatever the fuck so you out of anyone should know what sasya went through but noooo, you were resenting him for no reason and then wanting to jump karel’s bones and force sasya out of the picture FUCK YOU YOU DUMB STUPID CUNT and then when she was reintroduced later in the story HELL NAUR LET ME THROW HER OFF THE SHIP LET ME FLING THAT HOE TO THE SHARKS

hope my darling levin is happy. didnt expect her and julian to be a thing, i was honestly shipping julian and george from the time george was introduced. like julian and him hadn’t even met ever, but i wanted hashtag georgian to be a thing fr. ALSO GEORGE WHEN HIS HAIR IS NOT SLICKED BACK??? LIKE HE WAS HOT REGARDLESS BUT HAIR DOWN, HUBBA HUBBA IM PREGNANT WITH HIS BABIES

omg okay, here’s the end of my long, blubbering rant, i just needed to get everything off my chest. i love sasya, karel, julian, george, levin, and charles so much. they’re all babies, i hope they all live good lives together MY BABIES I MISS YOU ALREADY