i know what you mean (´-﹏-`；) oh, to be a little wisp witnessing different stories and to be content with that. ah, now i feel sad (or just disappointed) our time is limited and i would never have all the time in the world to just keep on reading, nor would i ever get to maintain the physical capabilities to do so. some days i wished to just die in my sleep, some days i feel higher than the stratosphere, but then i'd feel guilty right after for even having an inflated sense of self-importance with my waning vocabulary, even more so when i did nothing all week but to read novels i know wouldn't really help me in this practical world. but is it so wrong to indulge in these stories without wanting for anything "more"? (´ . . . `)
I am down from my high... am I really high off of emotions... I guess... nah not really I just feel like I am not rooted in this world and I feel that especially I finished another story.
I thpught I was gonna write a review but this is probably a life update .. we'll see I never know what I am going to type next...so go away... really
It's like destined to type what I type. Like it is meant to exist. Like everything in whatever progress stage they're at .does i make sense? i dont have much braincells with me tonight.. dawn.. I stayed up.. all night.. all day really just reading. Again.
Maybe I'm scared or maybe it just doesn't seem important to me. The world and what life I get off of it. I am just happy to disappear in between stories and I wish I could always live like that. To exist but not exist. I wish there were no consequences in living such a life. A life were I just take a corner of a space and witness a thousand lives.
Maybe I am irresponsible. I really am. I can't take responsibility with my own life much less with others. This is really just me running away. I was going to write mean things about myself but I won't. Not now. Not ever. I did pretty well. I really did. I really did. But I can't help to just wish I could be a ghost and haunt my phone forever.
Not even eternal rest, i just want to live life through others.
(I wrote something else entirely for that second last half but the universe ultimately decided to delete it and I have no way to bring it back. I thought it was a good paragraph though but I coudln't remember it now.) But I wanna write this instance here this moment where I feel like everything is exactly where it should be so the next moments will be the exact moments like it was written) its just crazy talk i am without rest and i am extremely sad this is nothing but musings of a broken person i guess)
I wonder what you future self will think of this.
Will you and I be any different?