i used to get panic attacks when i went to training as well, back when i used to play sports... i feel for shima so bad and i totally understand the feeling of starting to hate something you used to love/be good at...
guilt for failing induced by your own parents is a very real experience felt by a lot of people (especially asian kids) and it honestly sucks...- me, an asian kid who also experienced this
i used to get panic attacks when i went to training as well, back when i used to play sports... i feel for shima so bad and i totally understand the feeling of starting to hate something you used to love/be good at...