I don't agree with the friend about the concept of "leading someone on", mostly in the aspect of romance. It's sometimes so vague that people can accuse you of it however they want. (My stalker accused me of it but I don't want to talk further about that anymore.)
Like, you could honest to God, just be oblivious to someone crushing on you and just continue being friendly to them, it isn't until that person outright confesses that you'd know.
But then they or other people could accuse you of leading that person on because you were still being friendly with them and didn't turn them down when they haven't even confessed. It'd be embarrassing to just reject someone when you don't even know for sure they like you.
You could be accused of "leading someone on" because you were just being nice to them. Or maybe because you continued being friends or talking to them.
Girl or boy, anyone can catch that kind of delulu mindset where they believe someone is "leading them on" just because they haven't been rejected, but how could the other person reject you when you haven't confessed to them?
It's cuz they're scared of confessing at all, because then that would give the other person the option to either accept or reject them.
So in order not to be rejected, they keep themselves in a delusional state of "they like me because they're nice to me and haven't gotten rid of me". But if it really turns out the other person isn't into them, they'll pull out the "why'd you lead me on!?" card to excuse themselves and put the blame all on the other person for their own feelings.
But that's why I'm glad the ML is aware. He said that it was his choice to stay around her all these years. Which is true, he didn't want to ruin what they had and confessing might've separated her from him. It's good he doesn't blame her for his own choices. It shows that his feelings for her were genuine. (If he was insincere he'd be trash talking about her just because he was rejected, and you'd wonder if it was ever true he liked her in the first place.)
Remember, just because someone pined over you for years, does NOT mean you owe them a relationship. They are in charge of their own feelings and behavior. They can choose to either confess or give up. But blaming others because they're catching feels on their own is wrong.
I don't agree with the friend about the concept of "leading someone on", mostly in the aspect of romance. It's sometimes so vague that people can accuse you of it however they want. (My stalker accused me of it but I don't want to talk further about that anymore.)
Like, you could honest to God, just be oblivious to someone crushing on you and just continue being friendly to them, it isn't until that person outright confesses that you'd know.
But then they or other people could accuse you of leading that person on because you were still being friendly with them and didn't turn them down when they haven't even confessed. It'd be embarrassing to just reject someone when you don't even know for sure they like you.
You could be accused of "leading someone on" because you were just being nice to them. Or maybe because you continued being friends or talking to them.
Girl or boy, anyone can catch that kind of delulu mindset where they believe someone is "leading them on" just because they haven't been rejected, but how could the other person reject you when you haven't confessed to them?
It's cuz they're scared of confessing at all, because then that would give the other person the option to either accept or reject them.
So in order not to be rejected, they keep themselves in a delusional state of "they like me because they're nice to me and haven't gotten rid of me". But if it really turns out the other person isn't into them, they'll pull out the "why'd you lead me on!?" card to excuse themselves and put the blame all on the other person for their own feelings.
But that's why I'm glad the ML is aware. He said that it was his choice to stay around her all these years. Which is true, he didn't want to ruin what they had and confessing might've separated her from him. It's good he doesn't blame her for his own choices. It shows that his feelings for her were genuine. (If he was insincere he'd be trash talking about her just because he was rejected, and you'd wonder if it was ever true he liked her in the first place.)
Remember, just because someone pined over you for years, does NOT mean you owe them a relationship. They are in charge of their own feelings and behavior. They can choose to either confess or give up. But blaming others because they're catching feels on their own is wrong.