What I think might happen

OK, this is what I’m grasping from everything and this is just like what I’m thinking is a plot so it could not be the plot, im thinking the ml went back in time to fix his mistake after everything that happened you know and I feel like the main character isn’t actually in a novel like he think he is. I think his mind is just making him think he’s in a novel because of what he went through and I think Like his mind is so traumatized that he’s thinking he’s in a novel to replace those bad memories and tricked his mind into thinking that this isn’t like a real thing you know. I feel like the main character did go back in time along with the ML, but since everything that happened to him and all that trauma, his mind changed his memories rearranged his memories and changed it to an altered universe where there’s another male lead who’s completely different and kind, and they lived a normal life until you know he went into the novel. Regardless, I hate the ml he’s completely trash because regardless of how he’s acting now it does not change the fact what he did to the original bottom. He literally locked him up, forced him to get pregnant and raped him on a daily basis and God knows what else he did to him. I don’t care that he has issues or that he’s suffering because he thinks the main character is gonna leave him does not change the fact he’s literally raped him and pregnant him and locked him up. And of course, the original bottom was like trauma bond to him in a way and couldn’t imagine life without him and twisted away. I guess he did love him. Regardless I hate him do I feel a little bad for him maybe a tad bit but I hate him. Will I continue to read this. Yes I will. Also, I feel like the main character will regain his memories at some point and when that happens, I feel like the male lead will react badly to this and maybe lock him up or even rape him but I’m hoping it doesn’t happen, but I feel like it might happen due to it like what happened in the past and everything.