Pretty depressing day and I almost dropped it when Uke was like I want to get away from you (triggered some more sadness in me)
And in a way it made me jealous… and sad how can anyone endure that kind of blatant disgust. How can you continue loving someone who spent their days looking for something different.
This is not an attack to the uke actually. I just had thoughts… (an entirely different thing) why we tend to endure the constant hurt to keep familiarity?
And how lucky… to be the other side of the coin. That you are loved enough you get to think about what’s next. What’s beyond your current life’s baseline. To have something to fall back on. To knowing you’ll always get to keep someone. Having the luxury to choose.
Maybe it’s not that black and white. Maybe it’s really not that simple or maybe it is that simple… just that we couldn’t accept the 4’s are 4’s and 1’s are 1’s.
What am I even saying…
I’m tryna make something out of this sadness I am in. Creative juices be popping out of nowhere whenever I’m in this state. It’s really just a bunch of crap. Everything is. Reminds me of that quote I read… ‘nothing ever ends poetically. It ends and we turn it into poetry. All that blood was never once beautiful. It was just red.‘
Pretty depressing day and I almost dropped it when Uke was like I want to get away from you (triggered some more sadness in me)
And in a way it made me jealous… and sad how can anyone endure that kind of blatant disgust. How can you continue loving someone who spent their days looking for something different.
This is not an attack to the uke actually. I just had thoughts… (an entirely different thing) why we tend to endure the constant hurt to keep familiarity?
And how lucky… to be the other side of the coin. That you are loved enough you get to think about what’s next. What’s beyond your current life’s baseline. To have something to fall back on. To knowing you’ll always get to keep someone. Having the luxury to choose.
Maybe it’s not that black and white. Maybe it’s really not that simple or maybe it is that simple… just that we couldn’t accept the 4’s are 4’s and 1’s are 1’s.
What am I even saying…
I’m tryna make something out of this sadness I am in. Creative juices be popping out of nowhere whenever I’m in this state. It’s really just a bunch of crap. Everything is. Reminds me of that quote I read… ‘nothing ever ends poetically. It ends and we turn it into poetry. All that blood was never once beautiful. It was just red.‘