I honestly do not mind the generic plot, if anything I do like the idea because god do we need more green flag ML’s in BL but the authors attempts at character relationships fall so flat. As I’m reading this I feel like a lack of connection and believability with the main couple, which is a problem when the whole story is basically Piljoo grappling with getting over his ex and moving on to Seungpyo.
I just feel like the pacing and lack of non sexual scenes between the couple make it hard to feel attached. The first part of this story just feels wack, im sorry, like how am I supposed to believe that Piljoo fell in love with this random man in less than a day? I feel like the author moves through things so quickly that I can’t really keep up.
I think it would’ve been more interesting if Seungpyo and Piljoo had met before Jaejoon revealed his plans to marry that woman. It could be the same how they meet in a hospital, MC gets accidentally hurt after their argument but instead arguing over of the marriage reveal, maybe Jaejoon and Piljoo are having an argument and almost break up, the scene could follow the same but instead of Seungpyo and Piljoo having a one night stand Seungpyo just starts to get interested in him and tries to get his number persistently.
After that they could keep accidentally bumping into eachother (somehow, maybe it could make for some comedic moments) and coincidence after coincidence Piljoo reluctantly agrees to be friends with Seungpyo to stop the mans nagging everytime they suddenly meet.
From then we could get some moments of them bonding platonically to build connection while Piljoo and Jaejoon’s relationship continues to get more difficult.
That build up of Piljoo and Seungpyo relationship and maybe even some trust, plus us knowing ML is already interested would transition easier into when Jaejoon drops the bomb.
Them having some connection and Pre-established interest/crush on Seungpyo’s side would make a more believable reason to his persistence in attempting to win Piljoo’s heart. We could still have what we have in the story but more fleshed out and most of all, a more believable romance.
Obviously my idea would need heavy tweaking to make it snug into the actual story but you get the idea, I just wish we had something to work off of because im sorry but every-time they think of the “good times” together its just them in bed…that doesn’t really scream romantic.
This story overall just feels like a rough draft, ideas are there but the tweaking and revisioning wasn’t done. It feels like a quick brainstorm idea that for some reason never progressed past that point and ended up in the final product.
Anyways, I don’t think the Mc is annoying, I think his reactions are fair and so are ML’s. I just wish this story had more depth.
I honestly do not mind the generic plot, if anything I do like the idea because god do we need more green flag ML’s in BL but the authors attempts at character relationships fall so flat. As I’m reading this I feel like a lack of connection and believability with the main couple, which is a problem when the whole story is basically Piljoo grappling with getting over his ex and moving on to Seungpyo.
I just feel like the pacing and lack of non sexual scenes between the couple make it hard to feel attached. The first part of this story just feels wack, im sorry, like how am I supposed to believe that Piljoo fell in love with this random man in less than a day? I feel like the author moves through things so quickly that I can’t really keep up.
I think it would’ve been more interesting if Seungpyo and Piljoo had met before Jaejoon revealed his plans to marry that woman. It could be the same how they meet in a hospital, MC gets accidentally hurt after their argument but instead arguing over of the marriage reveal, maybe Jaejoon and Piljoo are having an argument and almost break up, the scene could follow the same but instead of Seungpyo and Piljoo having a one night stand Seungpyo just starts to get interested in him and tries to get his number persistently.
After that they could keep accidentally bumping into eachother (somehow, maybe it could make for some comedic moments) and coincidence after coincidence Piljoo reluctantly agrees to be friends with Seungpyo to stop the mans nagging everytime they suddenly meet.
From then we could get some moments of them bonding platonically to build connection while Piljoo and Jaejoon’s relationship continues to get more difficult.
That build up of Piljoo and Seungpyo relationship and maybe even some trust, plus us knowing ML is already interested would transition easier into when Jaejoon drops the bomb.
Them having some connection and Pre-established interest/crush on Seungpyo’s side would make a more believable reason to his persistence in attempting to win Piljoo’s heart. We could still have what we have in the story but more fleshed out and most of all, a more believable romance.
Obviously my idea would need heavy tweaking to make it snug into the actual story but you get the idea, I just wish we had something to work off of because im sorry but every-time they think of the “good times” together its just them in bed…that doesn’t really scream romantic.
This story overall just feels like a rough draft, ideas are there but the tweaking and revisioning wasn’t done. It feels like a quick brainstorm idea that for some reason never progressed past that point and ended up in the final product.
Anyways, I don’t think the Mc is annoying, I think his reactions are fair and so are ML’s. I just wish this story had more depth.