and also... she 'killed' a part of herself in the afterlife so...
I was actually thinking that she finally accepted both parts of herself. Most of the manhwa she thought about her role as a character in the novel instead of thinking about herself as a living person. She was just going according to the script and when she fought her ex-fiance she even said that she if fighting the MC of the novel which, for me, implied she still saw everything just as a book. In the trial she finally understood that her novel self isn't just a role but her from the beginning. She is a living person of this world and not a puppet of the script.
Oh yeah, bc while she acts upon this world, she still see some aspects of it as like a 'reader' that is detached. I totally see ur point!
my two cents on why oraboni is feeling that way:
During that trial of the Three Kings, the shadow person is actually Modern!MC before the transmigration and since she still sees that as an important part of her when she stabbed herself, it would seem as though a part of her has been gone as sacrifice to gain the Makya sword.
Or another theory, that part of herself has become the 'Makya' sword. Since the two swords could be seen as Yin and Yang, the two parts of herself could also be an allusion to this.
i could keep yapping lol