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then your mother needs education on child psychology.
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I'm gonna have to disagree. You can't blame your parents for everything. You make choices and you evolve on your own. There are multiple factors that contribute to your development and make you into the person who you are. There are so many things that made me who I am today, and my parents are just one of many of those things. You can't blame the parent for everything. That's making excuses.
I took psychology, btw.
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okay, no. as a child the majority of your interactions are going to be with your parents / guardians. children are much more easily affected by literally everything because they're like a blank canvas and a single stroke can make a difference. i'm not arguing that parents are the only people that will affect their children's psychology because society does exist but the wording of your (or your mother's) phrase made it seem like the parents are able to prod the child in one direction but then the child can very independantly choose to go with another direction regardless of that if they are moral enough.
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guys they are 16-17. they are still kids. they still have to become 'something'
i believe it's partly parents fault, we don't see them shown anywhere, my guess is they do not interfere a lot in their children's lives, which is bad if you overdo it.
i mean, they surly can see how everyone are praising one child and comparing it to another, probably they did it sometimes, and then you see them getting further apart, one twin rebelling and another being bullied, i mean come on.
i think it's partly parents and partly brother's fault. because there are people that can go trough life normally, usually just being a bit bitter at their parents, or sibling at one point, but some can't. so parents emotional neglect + jiwook's weak personality = inferiority complex
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Congratulations! You have a really wise teacher there. There should be more like her/him.
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It's not "all" the parents fault, but it is definitely something that they could have avoided if they had raised them right. If they had shown equal love to both brothers and stood up for Jiwook when people compared them he probably wouldn't have felt insecure. I'll say a large portion of it is their fault. They could've removed Jiwook from the situation he was in, they also should've noticed when he started to act out because of it. It is also your parents that tend to have the most impact on your way of thinking because you care about them and what they think. The same can be said for Siwon, if he'd been bullied and then eventually raped he was sure to have given off some signs of depression, if they had taken the time to sit him down and ask him what is wrong he might have been saved the suicide. Naturally the school environment was a huge contributing factor as well, they're all incredibly petty. Siwon (Taemin) is at first shunned when he comes back after the suicide attempt, which in itself is incredibly ridiculous, until he fights off his abusers. The tide changes much too arbitrarily... I believe this is what LessThanThree was trying to say, they just worded it in a way that was easily misinterpreted. By saying "your parents raise and influence you, but you choose what you become." it sounded as though they were saying that the parents wouldn't have been able to change how Jiwook would become and Siwon trying to kill himself, but i don't believe this is what they meant.
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No. It is not. They were wrong not to stand in the gap and praise Jiwook's own abilities or ask people not to make comparisons.
But most of those faded-dialogue comparisons we see are in Jiwook's imagination, looks like. His sense of inferiority made him see the worst in anything people looked at him. He saw his own sense of less worth in their eyes and between their lines.
And, by the time you're not a kid anymore--and let's face it, 15 or 17 is not a kid. People used to work and have babies and build houses and farm farms at that age--you know what is right and wrong, legal and illegal. If you choose to do wrong, then that's on you, not your parents. Unless they were such abusive freaks they twisted you badly, and I mean serious abuse, not carelessness.
Taemin's household situation had REAL abuse and Taemin isn't a shit.
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I mostly agree, i just don't believe that the parents had NOTHING to do with it. You're saying that people make their own choices without taking into account the many factors that influence the choices they make. Were the parents 100% responsible for how things turned out? No. They were just a large contributing factor to it all. You acknowledged that there were things the parents could have done to remove Jiwook's stress and circumvent the entire situation, but you then go on to say that it was still completely on Jiwook. Is your stance that the parents did influence him or that it was all on him, your points are clashing.
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I most certainly did NOT say the parents had nothing to do with it. The initial post was that it was ALL the parents fault. It is not ALL the parents' fault. The parents were at fault for not making sure that their acquaintances didn't make Jiwook feel like crap. (I don't believe the intent to harm was there. It wasn't like they were saying, Oh, Jiwook, you're so useless and worthless and are good at nothing.)
The parents certainly could have played a larger role . But if one child outshines another, it is INEVITABLE that people will talk like this. If there are 4 kids and one is supersmart, they will be praised for it. If one is athletic, they will be praised for it. etc. It's just how society works. I have siblings and, trust me, I was envious of some traits of my siblings and hated my own weaknesses and flaws. But I didn't blame my siblings.
In this case, Jiwook sees (mentally) everyone denigrating him. They aren't saying it (that we can tell) and we don't know how SiWon acted later (though he certainly looks schocked in the flashback at his brother's rejection of his comfort).
The parents may not have had any idea how ugly Jiwook's thoughts were getting, just as they have no idea that SiWon was bullied or that his brother hated him so much e wanted him bullied and humiliated and crushed at school.
Parents often don't notice things, cause kids hide them.
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I say it's completely on Jiwook the choices he made at high school age. High school age is not really a kid anymore. It's the brink of adulthood. You've had a chance to see films and read books and study history. You can make choices.
When you are 16 or 17 and you choose to be evil, that's on you. THat's not on your parents unless your parents completely trained you to be evil. (I imagine that's possible, especially if abuse and control are involved.) Jiwook's decision to not help his bullied brother and to share the rape DVD and encourage bullying and swap places so JooHoon attacks SiWon instead--these are all calculated decisions of wrongdoing. And the fact that Jiwook behaves all nice in front of his parents and shows his evil side to his brother means he KNOWS it is wrong.
If you hide it, you know it's wrong. He has chosen to do wrong when he had a choice not to do wrong. THAT is ALL on Jiwook.
If at the age of 16 or 17 I decided to rape the neighbor's kid, that's ALL on me. I made that choice.
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"When you are 16 or 17 and you choose to be evil, that's on you. THat's not on your parents unless your parents completely trained you to be evil."----While they didn't "train" him to be evil themselves, they left him in an environment in which he was being compared to his brother and in which his brother was being bullied and eventually raped. They didn't do it themselves, but that doesn't remove blame from them since they could have done something about it. If you don't agree, that's fine. I just feel it's more logical to say that "the parents contributed, but they weren't the cause" rather than "it is all on Jiwook" as you're saying.
IT IS ALL THEIR PARENTS FAULT! ESPECIALLY MOM'S!!